Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Wow - a new perspective

We have decided as parents that we will not even attempt to put ds in a school that requires children to be robots. If we have no other option, we will home school - not that it is a last resort, we just like our jobs and ds will only have to be in school for 6 hours at the most anyway due to our schedules.

I don't sit still at my job all day! Neither does my husband. We thought about how long we are sitting still and not moving - just sitting listening and being quite. The answer for me = about 15 minutes a day. Even if I am on a conference call I am surfing the net at the same time, in a meeting - I am swirling in my chair, taking notes or talking. I get to go to the bathroom when I feel like it, not on a set schedule. I get to eat when I am hungry and often have snacks at my desk. My husband is an Engineer - so of course he is running around doing cool stuff all day and can only spend so many hours a day writing reports - he would go mad!
Walking, running, multi-tasking, talking amongst coworkers - that is the REAL World! I want my son to LOVE learning - and I refuse to allow school to interfere with that love.
I don't know what I would do if a teacher asked me to weigh my son down with a book bag!
I got into a discussion with another parent who said he 3 year old son needed to learn how to sit down and be quiet. I said "why"? He said, "because he will need to learn how to do it". I said "why"? The only answer he could come up with is that was what he had to do in school, to which I replied "why"? Your son learned to tie his shoes, eat with a spoon, drink from a cup, talk, walk, crawl, laugh, and hug all without sitting down and being quiet - why would that be necessary for him to learn anything else. I then asked him what was the last thing he learned by sitting down and being quiet - he couldn't answer that one! I just can't believe we are doing this to our children. I was talking about this with my husband and we came to the conclusion that there are only two other places with more control - the military and prison!

We've only been doing it for 1 1/2 weeks but I love it!

For the first few days I was stuck on doing the worksheets, simple spelling words, etc. A continuation of what he was doing in school. My son absolutely hates writing school things especially what he says is "too easy". I got rid of the "easy" stuff and replaced it all with oral work, games, and computer games. He's much more agreeable to doing work if he thinks it's fun - go figure. He still writes his daily journal, whatever project we're doing (he picks the project), and harder math and spelling.

It's getting easier for me as I get to know how much he/we can handle in a day. It's also freeing my son up to be more creative. This morning he gave me a Valentine's Card that he made up entirely on his own - nobody told him to make a card. It's got 3 pages of writing on it! The walls are plastered with notes and pictures for a family fun day (with a sign up sheet), cats, robbers... He's actually enjoying homeschooling! Today is a snow day for the school district and he doesn't mind that we've still got school. I just kick myself for not doing this earlier.

ld parents,

I�m really glad to hear that you enjoy it! I have considered that option in the past, but my part-time job would be an issue. Now, that he is older, I would probably look for individual mentors rather than try to teach some subjects myself. It�s sounds as if it was your only option right now considering your school district profile. Your son is a lucky boy!

It's always depressing to hear what the general population thinks about giftedness. I've lost count of the number of times I've heard that it isn't real and they all level out by 3rd or 4th grade. There also seems to be a real feeling of "why on earth are you complaining when my kid needs a reading tutor".

Despite a good teacher who makes a real effort to engage DS7 and who tolerates a lot of boredom wiggles, I spend many hours after school redirecting him and coming up with strategies to keep him engaged. For example, he is currently busy determining the prime factors of the number of the day instead of making up a subtraction problem about it. His teacher is supporting the alternate project, but I'm the one who suggested it because she simply does not have time to adapt every single math assignment. Unless I am really mistaken about the math abilities of the average 7 year old, this is not a normal project. Yet somehow, we are supposed to believe that giftedness is not real and that providing that child with a different learning environment is some sort of parental pacification program.

Ugh! I have to remind myself that most people never interact enought with gifted children to understand that there are real differences, but sometimes it is really hard to reply politely to the (usually unintentional) hostility. I love what Trinity said, about "saying our truths, over and over again". Sometimes I need to take a really deep breath first, but it is so important to speak up so that others start to understand those differences.

Sensory Integration theory supports what you guys are talking about - how movement actually SUPPORTS learning. Jean Ayres' theory states that sensorimotor development is critical in the development of higher level cortical processing. That's why little kids need to move! And the use of the weighted blankets or lapbuddies isn't to "weigh them down" - it's to increase proprioceptive input, which is a calming/organizing sensory input (the sense of our own body, perceived through sensory receptors in our joints, muscles and bones). The same is true for using a large ball as a seat (or other types of alternative seating/positioning). It taps into our sensorimotor processing with both the proprioceptive and vestibular systems.

What you know to be true intuitively is actually well rooted in neurological theory - that most pediatricians and educators don't even know about! A good parent/teacher resource is the book SI and The Child, by A. Jean Ayres, PhD. She is the OT who developed the theory and practice of Sensory Integration.

(just a little fyi, with my OT hat on!)