Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion considering a new gifted program

I keep erasing my post because I am trying to figure out exactly what I am trying to say/ask.

We are struggling a bit at our current situation which is 2nd grade in a public school (good school/good district but no GATE until middle school). DD is bored, apathetic and just passing the time at school at this point. She is not acting out or miserable but just ok.

We have not exhausted our efforts to work with this school and teacher. I have met with the teacher once so far and have another conference this week so we may be able to do a little more with this school but I just don't have alot of hope from our past experiences and from what I hear from others who have gone before us.

There is a new option that we are considering and I am both excited and apprehensive about it and looking for advice/perspective I guess. There is a new very small private school that has opened near us for gifted learners. I think the ages span from 1st to 5th but more from 2nd to 4th. There are only about 20 kids in the entire school and the school just opened in Sept. They split the kids loosely into 2 classes and there is alot of flexibility and differentiation. They have core classes in the morning and then in the afternoons they have specialists come in to do various activities from art, spanish, writing, theater, chess etc. In many ways it sounds fabulous. I guess I am just still a little hesitant to leave the public school system which I am used to (and went to myself) even though it isn't really working. I am a little nervous about a school that is brand new this year although it seems to be going smoothly from parents I know. Also I am wondering about the social part of it. On one hand she may finally have a group of peers for her friends. Also, instead of hiding her ability she may thrive in an environment where the kids love to learn. It is just such a small group of kids spanning over several years and it somehow troubles me (though I am not sure why) that she won't have the larger groups of kids to interact with as she does now. The other issue of course is price. Its not sky high but certainly not free.

Overall I think my DD might do fine where she is now (though never great) but I am not sure that her younger sister is going to be fine with the public option when she starts school soon. I think we owe it to DD to check out this school. We could always go back to our own school since it is our neighborhood school.

Any thoughts or tips on what to look for in this new school. Would anyone hold off on a school that is this new or a school this small for those reasons alone. Am I just crazy for not jumping on this opportunity immediately?

We use a gifted private school for DS4 and his immediate peer group for class and recess is < 20. So I don't think a huge group is really needed as long as a child can form a few good friendships. As long as it's safe and well run is there really any downside to trying it out? Can your child do a "shadow day" to try the school before making a decision?

Dd5 is grade skipped and in first grade at a small private school similar to what you describe. Admistratively, the school is badly managed but the teachers are fabulous. Based on our experience, i would highly recommend that you consider the private school. At this young age, it is not only about what they learn at school but really how they learn. Doesn't sound like the public school is lighting that fire in your dd. My dd has friends both younger and older than her and it is such a good feeling to watch one of the older kids take her under their wings and help her with something. All the best with your decision. Believe me, I struggled with this exact issue for a long time. Finally I decided that I just have to take it one year at a time and evaluate the various options every year.

My DD goes to a super tiny private school so I understand your concerns. DD could stay there next year too but it does not offer financial aid, which is totally understandable and I don't feel entitled to financial aid but bigger private schools around here offer need-blind admission. In our case, the school is not targeted towards gifted but it is somewhat self-selecting and it tends to attract families who want a non-traditional learning environment for one reason or another.

We are fortunate that within the tiny setting, there is quite a bit of diversity. Still, it is not the same as having a class of 80+ kids and being able to find your friends from a large group of peers. You go with what you have and I am not sure if that is necessary a good thing or bad thing but it does affect the social dynamics.

I am generally happy with DD's school but next year, I think we'll have to switch to partial homeschooling if she is returning there. We do have alternatives including charter, private prep schools, public, and online charter but I am not really feeling great about any of those options. In your shoes, I'd give the new GT school a try. If it doesn't work out, you can always return to the public school system.

The social concern of exposure and learning to deal was something my dh and I were worried about when we sent ds7 to a small private gifted. However, since being in that environment for 2 months, he has made a180. He easily approaches kids instead of hiding behind me, asking me to do the talking. He asserts his feelings with kids appropriately. It has been really amazing to watch. Because of this, I believe kids (or my kid at least) gains more socially from gaining confidence in the small group. There will inevitably be extracurricular activities and other situations to introduce and experience other kids.

Learned obsolescence vs. an unknown that sends all the right signals?

I find prepared decisions much less stressful... Choose a specific outcome you want from the current school, and a specific deadline for it. If it doesn't happen by then, switch schools. It isn't something you would tell the current school. It is just a simple fair pseudo-objective decision mechanic, that takes you a step away from the angst of the decision.

Example:
If DD isn't consistently receive 4th grade math work by Dec. 15th, we'll apply to the other school.

In your shoes, I would definitely check out this new school. It is open house season and a good time to check out the schools. I am currently attending a lot of open houses just to explore options. If you shadow their classes and feel that they are doing a great job with the kids, then, there should be no worries about sending your child there.
As for the social aspect - even in big public schools, kids are always playing in small groups. And your DD will have plenty of social outlets when she participates in extra curricular activities.
Good luck.

thanks to everyone. It helped to write out my thoughts a bit in the post because it was hard to make sense of why I wouldn't want to try the new school.

I am glad that others understood my concern about a small group but also had good experiences. I know a couple kids there and they seem like great kids. DD also knows them a little and likes them as well. I guess it just seems that the experience at the school would be affected greatly by the social dynamics of a small group of children. Its not really different than her current classroom which has 26 kids but at least each year there are opportunities to mix the kids up and make new friends.

The lack of track record and reputation bothered me a little and was one of the reasons we didn't check out this school more seriously at the start of the school. I still had hope at that point that this would be a good year at her current school and so did DD. Now I think we are both disillusioned enough to give it a try. And if her younger sister can join her next year for kindergarten that would really clinch it I think. Her sister barely misses the public school kindergarten cut off and so is slated for transitional kindergarten next year followed by regular kindergarten if we do not appeal or work out a skip. Her knowledge seems to effortlessly jump by leaps and bounds and I expect her to be a poor fit for a 2 year kindergarten program to say the least. She is already a few years ahead.

We are going to try out DD7 for a day there and see how it goes. We also have our conference at our current school this week so that should help clarity our situation. DD7 is increasingly excited about trying out the new school though so I think the decision may already be made.

We have a relative who suffered through all of elementary school due to being in a small school with only one class per grade and having an issue with one of the girls in her class. OTOH, all of my three children have attended an even smaller private school now for several years and they've absolutely thrived academically and socially - even when there were issues with classmates. So much depends on both the actual kids in the class and on how teachers handle social issues when it's a small school.

I also wouldn't worry about lack of reputation/history - I'd go more on gut feeling of how well the school is run, teachers willingness to work with parents, how teachers treat the children, curriculum etc than history. After all, even the absolutely greatest of schools had to start with a "year 1" and no history. If you try it out and find you like the school, there can be something very exciting about being a part of making that history!

Good luck with your decision!

polarbear