Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion What did you do while waiting for Kindergarten?

Hi all,
My daughter will be three in December. She is reading at about a first grade level. As far as math goes, she can do basic addition and subtraction of numbers less than five. She is not so good with writing or coloring.

I am writing because I just found out that because her birthday is ONE DAY after the deadline for kindergarten, she won't be allowed to start for nearly another three years. My state is super strict on the fact that there can be no early entry. What am I supposed to do with her for the next three years?!

Do I get a kindergarten curriculum from the internet and start working through it with her? Do I do nothing and just let her be a three-year-old?

What did you do with your kids?

(P.S. My husband and I work full time. DD is in preschool/day care right now.)

Thanks in advance for your advice!

We might be in similar situations. I caught the part of she is in daycare as is our dd 2 3/4 (probably about a month younger than yours). Ours is in a play based preschool, has been since she was 3 months old because both parents work way too much.

We are not pushy parents as we do not have time to be, definitely not towards academics. We definitely are a little pushy towards physical play to wear her out for bed. Despite not pushing academics our daughter has math abilities that I find amazing, and she can read a little too (I don't think 1st grade level, but a little). Her verbal language skills seem like a 5-7 year old. Her situational awareness, I think, rivals many adults.

I have the same questions. It is an unnerving situation. Our question is more leaning towards what is our daughter going to do when the academics start, and how to provide her with explanations on why other kids are not like her. She already knows exactly how to fit in at daycare, and act exactly like all of the other kids. That makes me happy and scared.

I do not want to force my dd to grow up fast, but it seems in many ways to be happening whether I would like it or not. I have found some useful advice on specific issues from this forum concerning specific things that are happening now. I have also read forums from parents of older kids, to get a sneak peek on what the future might be like. I do make sure that I spend more time with my daughter than on this forum, of course. John Lennon said "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

What I did for my DS in his preschool years was have him in a good developmental(play) preschool, although keep in mind he didn't have to wait an extra year. The place I had my kids never forced any kid to sit in front of any particular activity, and had very rich and open ended activities. Both my kids spend drawing and 'writing' stories on pages & pages of blank paper. I also made sure he had plenty of appropriate books to read (he self taught reading at 3), and that I enriched his life with educational and challenging toys at home.

If I were you I might see if you could find a private elementary that might take your daughter early for the first few years. My state is super strict about K & 1st entry but will accept a kid for 2nd grade if they have completed 1st grade. We even have a local Montessori Preschool/Daycare that accepts kids through 2nd grade.

First make sure her daycare doesn't do academics except a few songs and truly voluntary stuff. Then make sure they have plenty of open ended play stuff and encourage exploration. That should get her through a few years. After that I have no idea.

Do you have a British (International) School nearby? We did bilingual Montessori, then "reception" at a British International School, which is like K but more and starts at age 4 not 5.

We did a play-based Emilia Reggio preschool & Steiner playgroups for another child.

This one day thing in crazy... can you fib? Seriously.

I would do enriching activities with her just like any good parent would, but they should be at her level, not the level of a typical 3 year old. I don't think you need to do workbooks or anything of the like, but continue to talk about numbers, math in the real world, etc. If she is interested in reading on her own, allow her to do that.
It is going to be a challenge when she is finally old enough for kindergarten. My DD also missed the cutoff (but in her case it was by about 1.5 months, not 1 day). The district has an acceleration policy, which is mandated by the state, so we ended up doing a grade acceleration after she started kindergarten. If your district does not have a policy or they never accelerate, then that's not going to work. I'd probably start looking at private schools.

You may wish to ensure her preschool/daycare has books and toys at her interest level. Donating books and toys may be one way to do this. Higher level books and toys which are of interest to her may also attract other kiddos which is a plus in terms of your child seeing who else has an interest in these things, in other words who appreciates the higher ceiling and may be closest to her level.

You may also wish to look into your local schooling options other than public school, and learn all you can about advocacy.

This is what we do for our DS3, who is in a similar ability range. I stay at home with him, but these could be adapted to after schooling, as they are all play oriented:
- Get a membership to local museums, aquariums, historical sites, etc.on one of our memberships, I'd estimate we're now under $1/visit for two of us based on frequency of use!
- Borrow a wide variety of books from the library every week based on emerging interests. We probably have 50-100 out at a time.
- Plan site visits to facilities whose activities interest your child.
- Play leisure sports together.
- Build a small group of peers for you child and arrange play dates a couple of times each week. The best way I've done this is by seeking out like-minded parents at activities that interest DS.
- Do little experiments daily. They font have to be elaborate and can be thought experiments. It creates an atmosphere that communicates, "we value creativity."
- Model learning and resilience to failure in your own activities. I firmly believe one of the best lessons we can teach our children is resilience in the face of appropriate challenges.

Good luck! It's such an exciting age!

All of this!

We are both working parents so our children have been in daycares. DS misses the cutoff by 1-2 days and DD's birthday is only one day earlier than DS. When DS was younger, we figured he could just enjoy being in daycare and not worry about the fact that he would be basically 6 when he starts kindergarden - or even look for private school to start him when he turns 5 and do the route of private school for a few years and then figure out whether to continue with private school or move to public once we are past that whole restrictive age cutoff (we are also in a state that is very rigid about the cutoff). So... we did not start to worry - until 3.5 when he started to show signs that he was getting too frustrated and out of sync with his class.

Even though they did a lot of play and free time, it appears that one of the biggest issues was that he was not in sync with his peer group at all anymore, and he was bored even with the play centers. His teachers never noticed because he is such an easy going child most of the other kids like, but at home, he would act up in the mornings (not wanting to go)... and at night, we could not get him to bed before 10 because he wanted us to read books on all random topics all the time and just was not tired. It was like suddenly a switch was thrown at 3.5. He *loved* his 3s room at the start, but rapidly outgrew it. So we finally pushed to move him to pre-k a few months later - and immediately, he became friends with the 5 year olds (pre-k and k classes mixed a lot, and both teachers noticed that he was bonding with the oldest kids). But that was a big problem... because it meant at the end of the summer, when he turned 4, they would all be gone (to elementary schools)...

So we ended up placing him into a private gifted school that starts at 3-4 (his current class is 4-5 year olds). And he is so happy - our big struggle nowadays is getting him to leave at the end of the day. The biggest part of his happiness is that the teachers move at the kids pace, and they do play a lot (1 hour long recess every day, tons of center time and book time) - and having peers that he can relate to and talk to. They do not do grades in the early years (i.e. there is no kindergarten, first grade) but place the kids into the groups that fits them. We went to that school not for academics but for the peer group and environment that would work best for DS. We had not realized how much of a difference it would be - but DS now goes to bed at a normal time, and he bounces into the school, excited, every single day.

DD is now 2, and she is more social and more verbal (she will let you know very loud and clear what she does and does not want) - and I don't think she will tolerate the 3s room without running into the same issues we had with DS (boredom and lack of peers to hang out with). So we are planning to move her to a Montessori school where she will be the youngest in the 3-5 year old room (the school we have in mind runs it in a way that I feel will mesh with DD's personality), and then either have her in there for 2 years then move to DS's school or if she shows the same signs of getting frustrated with the other children or class in the new school, then we will most likely move her to DS's school earlier, when she is 4.

Basically - in a nutshell, we have dropped our original plans to go through public schools mostly because of the age cutoff and we are focusing on the best fit for them where they are thriving and with a peer group they can relate to. We are big into books and following what the kids want to do at home (DS - legos, vehicles, dinosaurs and DD is totally into dolls, babies, and art). So at home - we doodle at the dinner table, play with toys, read whatever books they want - if DS wants to read himself, we let him and if he wants us to read, we read. We try to do a lot of physical activity as a family when weather permits on the weekends (bike or walk to park, go to playgrounds around the area, swim lessons).