Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Musical instruments at what age?

Our DS4 seems to like music a lot. Like baseball, it has always been related to numbers. Just before his 2nd birthday we noticed that he recognized songs on his favorite CDs by their track number. "Jailhouse Rock" was his favorite, and whenever it came on he would run around the bedroom shouting "Five, five, five!" For a while we didn't know what he was talking about. But then we noticed that the very cheap CD player we had put in his room had an LED readout for the track number and "Jailhouse Rock" was, indeed, the fifth song on the CD. It turned out he recognized all the songs on that CD, and others, by their track number. We were astonished to discover he had been making this connection.

In addition to listening to music, I have been taking him to Saturday morning music classes for children since he was about 12 months old, and he has always liked them a lot. We have lots of instruments around the house - piano, guitars, and a variety of small instruments for him - that he enjoys fooling around with.

Fast forward to the present. The music school where he takes his Saturday morning lessons offers a Suzuki strings program that starts at age 4. I spoke with the director of the program the other night and she thinks that DS would be very good for it. But it is a big commitment. They expect you to practice every day - even if at the start that means for only 5 minutes. I do think DS would enjoy being able to produce music, but I am not certain that he will enjoy making such a commitment. I am very nervous about over-scheduling him. Have others had any experience with Suzuki strings programs? DS says he wants to learn the cello "because it has a deeper voice than the violin".

BB

We started DS at 5 years on Suzuki violin. It has been a big commitment and there were some years where we fought a lot about practice. If, though, the adults in the household all support the decision and don't waffle too much, I think many families can get through those early struggles. Starting around 11, DS started taking responsibility for his practices. He now plays violin, is a competitive fiddler, and is playing cello in orchestra. He has excellent music reading skills as well. So, for us, the early commitment paid off.

I would suggest that you look at some of the books about the Suzuki method (including Nurtured by Love) and get an idea of the philosophy. Since it is listening-based, probably the most important thing is to make sure they listen to their CD every day. We just plop it in the CD player as he is climbing into bed at night. Some days that was the only practice that DS got. But listening makes a huge difference.

Hi BBDad

We started violin at 5 with a modified Suzuki program. DD is now 9 and has kept with it. She plays in various ensembles and orchestras, too.To echo what others have said, it is a great way for her to learn that something can be hard, but if you do practice you get better, and if you don't, you don't. As she, like many children referred to on this board, gets so many things so easily and quickly, it's great character and discipline training.

DD9 is now taking up the clarinet as well.

Here�s my son�s Suzuki violin lessons story:

When he was almost five and facing another year of pre-school due to missing the cut-off for K, he was evaluated for IQ (at the suggestion of his pre-school). Although he tested as gifted, the retired school pyschologist suggested that he may have attention issues and suggested Suzuki lessons.

We enrolled him with a young man who taught Suzuki from his home while his wife worked at her career away from the house. It seemed like an ideal arrangement for DS- a male teacher who lived less than a mile away with weekday morning availability! The problem was that this young man was already task saturated with the care of a newborn, a toddler, two affectionate cats and a very friendly golden retriever!

My son (and I) attended lessons (supposedly to help with attention and concentration) while the instructor held his crying newborn, the cats circled our feet and the dog�s wagging tail continually brushed my son�s face, all while listening to Telli Tubbies (sp?) on the baby monitor! We quit after 7 weeks into a 3 month commitment!

Even though we were actually out a few hundred dollars for rental and pre-paid lessons I thought this situation was hysterical, even at the time.

We started a 3.5 year old so what someone else noted - to develop an ability to focus on something she wasn't dictating. The hard part you are right - is you taking the time to ensure they practice or it is pointless. It's been a good thing for her. We started the then 5.5 year old 6 months later so they'd get off on a more even footing. The younger one does better now that she is trying to best her sister or at least show her not to be shy. Ironically we thought the younger's love for music would rule out but the older is all math and patterns - so despite it being susuki - the older one figured out who to read sheet music in a day.

I can't tell you what is right in your case. For us, I grew up with susuki lessons and love music. The oldest needs something that doesn't happen perfectly without practice. The youngest needs something to force her to pay attention now at 4.5 our practice time is still a meger 10-12 minutes a day. So for us it is more a parenting - reinforcement tool of sorts. If they decide in a year to throw in the towel or we have to switch teachers and nobody wants to go forward... then we'll see. For now while there are the "no I don't want to practice" there is still a lot of "holy cow" did you hear what I did - a looks of self pride for failing, failing, getting it right. School may not offer a lot of opportunities to have to work hard at something before getting it right.

but overscheduling is definately something we try to avoid. our girls aren't much for a lot of sports at present...

so basically i'm not saying anything new here :-) sorry - more of the same. you can always wait for fall/winter to come to give it a try when there isn't so much draw for the outdoors (of course we live in a snowpile).

Thanks to everyone. I can of course imagine it would be good to learn discipline, and how to stick with a project. These are certainly important skills, and he doesn't much have them. He will definitely need to develop them at some point. What I can't figure out is whether now is the time to start in on them. I have tried to be very conscious of taking his lead - playing math or reading games with him when he seems excited but not forcing them on him when he's not showing an interest. I feel like I'm starting to understand this balance well. We do a lot of those things, but I don't think he thinks of it as a burden at all. They happen in his free time, as the spirit moves us. What I'm nervous about is the idea of changing from this rather free-spirited, playful approach to something more like: every morning at 7:00 a.m. you must take out the cello and practice! It's not that I think there's no room for this kind of discipline, it's just that I don't know whether age 4 is really the time to begin teaching it.

There must be some out there who have avoided early music lessons because they felt its being so scheduled would dull their DC's interest. Anyone want to take that side? We have about a month to decide, and hearing from both the pros and the cons would be really helpful.

BB

I can say that it was DD's interest that led us to start. We went to a lot of children's concerts and at one festival the conductor/ impresario let the children play little violins and then sit next to their favorite musician/ instrument during the concert! We're also lucky that her school has a mandatory violin program for the little kids and mandatory band for the bigger kids. It has really helped encourage her.

Our guy was very busy and distractable and I didn't really like the idea of giving him an expensive stick (bow) to run around with, so we did wait until he was 5 1/2 so he had a bit more self-contol to start. But there are many kids who start younger and do fine. They will often start the little ones with a fake violin so that they can practice how to hold and take care of it. When they prove they can, then they give them the real thing.

Somewhere there is a balance in the practice amount and intensity. I see some parents who are too intense and get really freaked out that if there kid doesn't practice hard every day they will never play well. Many of these families seem to burn out after a few years and their kids come to hate playing. On the other end, the parents who do not convey their own commitment and are too wishy washy also tend to have kids that give up. We shot for a middle ground of "good enough" which for us was some practice most days. Sometimes that was only working on one thing he needed to for 5 minutes. Other times it was listening to the CD and extra time instead of playing. Some days, he might practice for 15 minutes. Often I felt like we weren't taking it seriously enough especially when I met the really intense parents. But 7 years into it, most of the "intense" families have dropped by the wayside and our DS is still going strong. 5 minutes a day for 7 years adds up to a lot of practice! The key is that it something ought to happen almost every day, but it doesn't have to be a big part of every day. Does that make sense?

I think that's very smart, acs.

We're considering piano lessons for DS7, so while I have no advice to give, I am reading this thread with interest. Especially the advice about practice time and finding that balance...

Thanks all! Good thread!

I don't have anything to add but I have to say that I just spent 20 minutes trying to get my child to do ANY piano practice. He's not doing Suzuki. He begged at age 5 to learn the piano. We started him at 5 1/2 (he's almost 7). Just in the last 3 months or so he has started refusing to practice. I don't know if it is a stage or if he is bored or if he is being rebellious. It makes me nuts - putting out all that money for lessons and he keeps doing the same songs at every lesson because he won't practice. If he'd practice just a few minutes every day between lessons, he'd get stars on those songs and could move on.

Didn't mean to hijack the thread with my rant but it just makes me so irate that he won't practice and I have no control over it. We've done rewards, consequences, punishment, promises. Nothing works. The teacher told me to back off so I have but it just kills me. I feel taken advantage of because he won't practice and I can't "make" him. It can become quite a battle and even when I give up the battle I feel frustrated.

Thanks for letting me vent. Good luck with your decision.