Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Here's how our meeting went....

Hi all. Well, the meeting is over. I'm emotionally exhausted. Basically, the principal said they can't do anything more right now other than what they are already doing. His resources are stretched as far as they can go. He refused to consider any of the options I offered. He was, of course, fine with me wanting to home school for math. Imagine that. He agrees that DS shouldn't have to do any meaningless homework and said that the teacher can modify/eliminate any homework as she sees fit. But that still leaves DS sitting through the guided worksheet stuff. And then he won't have ANY homework, which is not a habit I want him to have.

We pointed out that DS has mastered 80% or more of the first grade curriculum, based on the teachers use of the end of year unit assessments. And DS could learn all that in about 2 weeks. He doesn't need the next 4 months. So, DS will just be sitting in math, learning nothing, doing fun enrichment activities that aren't even hard. But DS does enjoy them - at least they are hands on. I expressed my concern that he isn't learning how to learn. And that we could take him through the second grade curriculum by August. So then we requested that they consider putting him in 3rd grade math next August. He is at least looking into that to see if it is an option.

I don't know what to do. DS had another meltdown this morning. Crying how he doesn't like school. Then saying it really is just his math. I promised him I'd fix it. And I don't know how. At least we all agreed he won't be doing that homework. I guess I'll be "afterschooling" him. And perhaps I'll keep him home in the morning and homeschool him through the second grade program, so he can enter third in the fall.

Good news is that the reading teacher has finally reached a point where he is learning. He is now happy with the 2nd-3rd grade level books and work that goes with them. And his writing has improved tremendously. It was a good grade skip, as he is still at the top of his class - in both reading and math.

Oh, and I loved this one. My husband is the king of analogies and he threw out this thought to the teachers: "You've got a Ferrari here and it's parked in the garage. You really need to take it out and see how fast it runs." I know it's a version of the "cheetah" essay, but he's never read it - so I had to kind of giggle when he said it. Figures a guy would use a car analogy!

I suppose that all of you would tell me to go ahead and keep son home in the morning. My only concern is that he does enjoy all his friends and the enrichment stuff at the end of the class time. He seems really torn about hating to do the worksheets but liking some aspects of the class. Maybe just getting there after the whole guided worksheet thing. Any thoughts are appreciated. Maybe just words of encouragement that this is okay to do?
Thanks!

I think it is important for every child to receive inquiry-based learning, and for children to formulate their own solutions to mathematical problems. Does ds demonstrate spontaneous formation of problem solving? Or flexibility in hadling data? Or agility of ideas? Or data organization? or the ability to transfer ideas? His reasoning in math should should include why? and What if? It sounds like he might be doing those things in the enrichment activities that you are talking about.

I�m so sorry that you are not finding an ally in your son�s principle.

It took us several years before our school took action to accommodate our son in math. It was the exact same situation! He was already one year ahead of where he would have been based on age, but was extraordinarily bored with grade level Saxon math. I wish I could tell you that it (Saxon math) will accelerate, but I can�t.

I got my copy of �Developing Math Talent� yesterday per your recommendation (thanks). I haven�t gotten too deep into it yet, but I can see it will be very helpful in interpreting my son�s Explore results. I think I will order a second copy for the school.

According to the authors (and experts in the field), enrichment and critical thinking exercises are not a solution for children who are gifted in math although they may compliment an advanced academic curriculum. The advanced instruction is critical to nurture the aptitude and interest.

I know you want this addressed now. Maybe you will have to prove to them that you are right about his abilities. For now, keep up the supplemental instruction along with the fight.

I bet it made a positive impression on your son to know that his parents are lobbying for him. Both our kids witnessed my husband and I insist to be heard during a school board meeting. My husband read the well researched letter that we had sent to each school board member (nobody responded) in front of a rather intolerant crowd. They essentially blew us off, but my kids saw us try (and fail) on their behalf. They also see that we eventually got their situations resolved (for the most part). These are good lessons.

Keep trying. I am also praying for your family.

Diana

Argh! Debbie, that's frustrating. It is a tough decision, too. I've faced the same decisions for Mite and am still not sure what to do.

I do think you make a very valid point. DS needs to learn how to learn. If he's so frustrated he's having melt downs, then it sounds like those enrichment activities are not enough, however fun they might be.

I feel so frustrated with the principal. grrrrrrrrrrrrr.

as I always say to myself....breathe breathe breathe

Oh, Debbie... this is so disappointing. I was hoping and praying the meeting wouldn't go this way. Do they not understand how miserable your DS is in the current situation?

Well, next step is to regroup and assess your options, which it sounds like you're doing already. Is homeschooling (part- or full-time) your only feasible option right now? Any other schools in the area--or would DS be reluctant to leave friends? The idea of homeschooling in the mornings sounds like it might be the best of both worlds, if you have no other options... at least DS would be able to move forward academically, but still see friends every day. Is the school willing to work with the partial homeschooling idea?

Big hugs,
GG

P.S. Tell your husband I liked his analogy.

Hi Debbie,

I feel like you and I are in the same boat! I'm so sorry you didn't have better results at your meeting.

You mentioned possibly keeping your DS home in the mornings and sending him to school later. I wonder...how many hours is DS required to be at school for it to count as full attendance?

The reason I'm asking is, I think I may have found a loophole in our district. If the child is at school until at least 10am, they are counted as having been there a full day. I have a feeling we might be using that loophole in the future...maybe sending DS to school until lunchtime (11-ish), then bringing him home for some actual learning.

If we do it the opposite way though, keeping him in the morning and sending him in the afternoon, he would be counted as absent every day. Just something to consider.

Good luck, and keep at it!

Christi

Thanks everyone - it's nice to know you all understand and empathize!

Last night I told DS that the principal said he can't go to second grade for math. He almost started to cry! And then he said he is taking two of his friends and going anyways! I told him that he doesn't have to do the homework anymore - he was thrilled with that. When the principal said the teacher could modify the homework as she sees fit to "reduce the rote-like worksheets" I stated that my time with my child in the evening was precious and that I was no longer going to spend an hour or more fighting to get him to do meaningless work. So, no more level 1 Saxon homework, period. Mama says so! I also informed the staff that by sitting through the math class my son's very soul was dying...he was losing interest and turning off. I can't let that happen!

Then I told DS that he would still go to the class and do the worksheets with the teacher. He almost lost it. Said "I am DONE with first grade math! I can't do those worksheets anymore! They are so dumb! I already know it all!" That was when I knew what I had to do. I asked him if he wanted to go to school after math class was over, but do second grade math at home. He jumped up and hugged me! He was so thrilled! He said that he wouldn't even miss being "student of the day" sometimes. But then he asked about doing the other problems, referring to the enrichment activities. I asked if they were hard for him to do and he said sometimes. So, I'll have to see if they follow the same schedule every day. Maybe he can get there to do some enrichment stuff with his class.

The principal was fine with us keeping him out part of the day. He said that other parents do this for different reasons, we just need to register with the ROE(whatever that is?). He was a little too eager, if you ask me! But after last nights discussion with DS, and then this morning him being mad about having to go to school on the bus (I tried to explain that we needed time to work the details out, and we would start next week), I know this is the right thing to do.

I'm not sure how it will play out in the future, as Saxon math really isn't going to be a good match at all. But I'm just going to take it one step at a time. If we can get him through this school year, then we'll look at next year in a little while. We are hoping that the 3rd grade math thing will work, but if not, then we'll look at other options. I think having him work through the Saxon curriculum at his own pace will give us good information about just how fast he will go through stuff at school. I mean, if he can do the school year program in 5 months, then every single year we will have this issue! Maybe he could do EPGY at home, but attend school for everything else. I don't know. I'm sure that as time passes we will find answers. And have more issues to deal with. The ride continues! (Notice, I am no longer in the "battle" mode!)

Oh Debbie,
I'm so excited for you. It sounds as though you have a plan you can all live with. If the school math never works for him, so what? You have the early enterance, so with Math at home, you may have an overall plan that keeps him with his friends for part of the day and still leaves him with the chance to learn math at this own level. Yippee!

Whatever you end up doing, do it ASAP -LOL!
Trinity

Hi Debbie,
I see that you are logged on. Have you firmed up your plan for partial home schooling?

I wish you the best!

Thanks for asking. We aren't all set with the logistics and timing yet. Hub and I have to figure out who will get which child where they need to be each day and who will do teaching and when. That seems to be rather a lot, yet we feel like it is really not a big deal at this point. DS initiated a conversation on Saturday about equivalents in money which led to a discussion on multiplication which led to he and I creating a multiplication table Saturday night. He wouldn't go to bed until we had made one. Then he was up on Sunday studying it and making comments about the patterns in the number sequences. Then he initiated showing me how many ways he could make 88 cents with different coins. I just ran with him, trying to keep up and offer one more question to keep him thinking. It was then that I realized, as Trinity pointed out before, we already ARE homeschooling him in math! And on the weekend, no less!

So, now we just have to get copies of some of the Saxon stuff from school so we know what we our goals are, in case he returns to school for math. But I think we'll use other methods for teaching. Singapore has been highly recommended. And some other resources we can combine. I'm actually getting pretty pumped up about it all - can hardly wait to see how DS does when he has free rein!