Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional DD just diagnosed with anxiety disorder

Oh wow. Thanks for the feedback. I never thought of these things as abnormal. Her dad has trouble tying his shoes and never learned how to tell time on an analog clock, and his handwriting is so tiny you have to have a microscope to see it. But he has a neurological disorder so wasn't sure if that was related.

I have always been a clutz with having stitches and broken bones most of my life just from tripping and falling a lot. So it never occurred to me that with her it might be something different that could be treated. I just thought it was all genetic and maybe it is. I will bring this up with her doctor and counselor and see what they think.

Maybe once she is less stressed she will be able to help us identify why she is stressed. She is getting pretty good at telling me why things bother her now but sometimes she is just too upset to explain. We made one modification in the classroom already and she is allowed to use mechanical pencils (last years teacher wouldn't allow it in the classroom) so she won't have to wait in line to use the pencil sharpener and then have to fight with it to get her pencils sharpened. She said that was one of her biggest aggravations. The teacher said the pencil sharpener is a pain and she had an electric one but it broke too.

Would dysgraphia or these other issues effect her drawing and art because she loves to draw and her sketches are pretty good. At least you can tell what she is drawing but she especially likes abstract art.

The WISC IV was given to her at school and they did not express to me which tests she panicked on so I don't know if that had something to do with it.

I don't know what DCD is can you clarify that?

I have looked up dysgraphia and it sounds similar to what I have seen so will definitely talk to them about that. Her spelling is wonderful and loves teasing her older cousin (who lives with us)when he has trouble with words that she knows. And she would like harder words in school so he brings his words home from High School so she can go over them. He has been very supportive with her and it's been like her having an older brother now.

Sorry this post is all over the place. I am just thinking about all you have said and I appreciate it very much. Thanks for the help.

This just happened a few hours ago so I thought I would share with you. My DD and I were talking about why she doesn't like writing and she stated that it was hard for her to make her d's and b's correctly without having to really think about it. Also M's and N's bug her. She stated that typing was so much easier because she knows the letter but her hands won't make the letter right.

On a side note, and I never really thought about it before just thought she was quirky. We are always looking for pull on jeans that don't have a zipper and buttons because it takes less time for her to get dressed in the morning that way. Buttons are as difficult for her as tying her shoes. Zippers aren't too bad though.

So much has happened in the last year. My DD now 10 was just diagnosed PDD-NOS although they said she was just inside the autism spectrum disorder. Mild enough that the anxiety issues and the giftedness was masking a lot. She has an OT for her small and large motor skills issues. She is seeing a therapist for anxieties and a case worker to sort out her social issues.

In the last three months she has improved enough to take a vacation without me and did fantastic. She did summer school without issues and a Theatre camp at which she tried out for a Solo and won it. I am so proud of her and had to brag with those who understand the struggle and who understand why I am so proud. It took us a while to get here but here we are. Still have a long road ahead but at least it has fewer obstacles and potholes...LOL.

Thanks everyone for your advice and encouragement.

This is heart-warming news! Thanks for sharing. This may be an inspiration to many.

Thanks for sharing. It's good to know things are looking up. My DS15 also has anxiety issues and we haven't decided yet if it is masking other issues or not.

bluemagic, All I can say is go with your gut feeling. If you feel it needs to be looked into more closely then do it. These gifted kids are becoming more aware of themselves in relation to other kids and they start questioning things about themselves. Also talk to your DS and see if he feels something else may be going on. My DD was able to express to me that she felt different in more ways than just the gifted. That helped validate what I saw was going on. The good things about the Gifted part is that some are very capable of expressing profound things about themselves. Communication is a key thing.

My DD and I had a long discussion about the tests that were run and how she felt about the outcome. I told her she really isn't any different than anyone else when you really look at it. Everyone of us has something we are good at and something we struggle with. Learning that most times we cannot avoid the struggle so we need to learn how we work best in those situations and work with that. And that is why we are trying to help her learn how to work with the struggles so she can be the successful person I want her to be in whatever she chooses to do with her life.

It's amazing how well these kids understand a very complicated conversation like that.

Yes, Cassmo. That is exactly the kind of conversation I have with every child, gifted or intellectually-disabled alike, when I review their test results with them. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, places we can help others, and places where we will need support from others. If you took anyone of the adults or other kids in your life, and ran the same battery of tests on them, you would find something that was a struggle and something that was a breeze. Testing is not ultimately about identifying a disability (although it may have that immediate function when attempting to jump through IEP/504 hoops), but about understanding yourself, and putting yourself in a position to make informed decisions about how you will use your strengths to leverage your weaknesses, in order to achieve your personal goals in life. Even fairly low-functioning adolescents generally understand this, so I would absolutely expect gifted youngsters to get it.

We routinely invite 14+ year-old students to their own IEP meetings (it's mandated that they have a right to be there if they choose). For some gifted kids, the age at which they ought to be present for the discussion, or at least part of it, may be younger than that. Parents may ask that they be present (since you can invite anyone you want to an IEP or 504 meeting).

I have to add my 2 cents here about the strengths/weaknesses discussion. Not wanting to argue but just have representation for an alternate view.

Life is not a competition where we compare ourselves to each other and develop an order of strengths and weaknesses. There are kids who are good at just about everything they ever attempt. With a little work, they can do anything they set their minds to. We'll call these golden kids. There are also kids whose best will never hold a candle to the worst of the golden kid. We'll call him platinum kid. I happen to have a golden kid and a platinum kid. My platinum kid could look til the cows come home for something he could do better than the golden kid. Should he stop trying? Absolutely not! It's not about whose better or worse. It's about doing what you can with what you have. Finding a personal meaning in life and experiencing life through your own lens. Whether that's better than everybody else or absolutely the worst anyone has seen. It just doesn't matter.

In competitive sports, I tell the kids that there will always be someone better and worse than they are unless they are the world champion. And even if they are, that won't go on forever. Someone will topple them. I do not tell them that if they are bad at one thing, they will be good at something else. Yes, they have strengths and weaknesses but that must be in the context of their own life, not the judgement of others.

For my kids, I work with them on figuring out who they are, what they enjoy and how they can find fulfillment in life. Not necessarily doing what they are "best" at in someone else's eyes. But doing what makes them feel satisfied and contributing what they can to make the world a better place. There is so much more to life than what can be measured anyway. We all bring something to our world when we bring ourselves.

I realize I'm not disagreeing with anyone here, just trying to put this sort of discussion in a slightly different perspective.

Amen.

We do portions of these meetings with DS12 present and portions without, and we started this at age 10. It has been VERY important for him to see what others think of his struggles and offer them corrections of perspective as needed. He is increasingly astute about what supports have helped.

And as to what MON said: oh, yes. Entirely.