Hi Mary Beth -
From what I am reading, it doesn't seem to me that your son has any behavioral issues. The only thing I see is stubborness, but that might just be because of his age. Anyway, I am *no* expert, so there is probably more than meets the eye.
I am not sure what you mean by "intense". Is this something you have witnessed or the way a teacher described it to you? I wonder because if a teacher is not used to working with a child that is precocious then she might very well find him intense and/or disruptive (especially if he is bored and has found a way to be engaged, e.g. "directing" during circle time).
Yes, he sounds a bit like my daughter. She loves tell stories and talk. And she likes to get others interested in what she wants to do (which, currently, has been role playing or puppet shows). Unfortunately, most kids her age don't really understand what it is she is doing. They are still mostly in parallel play. And older kids just think that she is a cute baby, so they either ignore her or act like she is puppy. Sometimes, she get's lucky and she jsut *clicks* with another child!
The perfectionism issues can be tough, especially, since he hides his abilities until he is 100% comfortable with them. My daughter does this to an extent and it, often, makes me wonder if I imagined X. A lot of kids who are gifted in math, don't always read right away. In fact most kids don't really start reading until about 1st grade. So, it's okay if he isn't reading.
What "milestones" is the preschool looking for? Have you considered having your son go to a Play-Based preschool (versus an academic-based preschool)? It sounds like your so is in the latter type of preschool and if that isn't working out for him, a play-based school might be perfect. It'll give him a chance to learn by playing and hone his social skills. The pressure to perform will (hopefully) be lessened and he might be more forthcoming with his skills because it is *fun* and not because he *has* to be.
Have you checked out the Ruf Estimated Levels of Giftedness? Here's the link:
http://www.educationaloptions.com/levels_giftedness.htm It will help give you an idea of where your son is a la giftedness. He may not fit everything in a particular category and that's okay.
I have learned a few things on my journey to learn more about giftedness. The first is all tests are not one size fits all. I recommend that you go to the Hoagies' Gifted Education Page (
http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/) and search on testing. This is one of the best sites on giftedness out there. (I, personally, think it's the best). They, also, have info on homeschooling and other resources (like books), available.
There are plenty of educational options available. Montessori (
http://www.montessori.edu/) is a great option, but you will want to look into how strictly they adhere to the Montessori method. Do they allow for flexibility? For example, since your son is already doing basic math will they have him continually practice his numbers or will they let him progress from the level he is already at? Also, be sure that they let you audit the classroom from time to time. If they don't encourage parental involvement or try to make auditing the classroom difficult, then they are probably not a place you want your child in. (This pretty much applies to all preschools.)
Homeschooling does not have to be a solitary endeavor and can be fairly social. Check out the following links for HS reasources in your area: Regional and Worlwide Homeschooling A-Z:
http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/regional/Indiana.htm Yahoo! groups at groups.yahoo.com (just do a search on Indiana and homeschool).
Homeschool Blogger:
www.homeschoolblogger.com There are many resources and support groups available for homeschooling. You might be surprised. Try asking around at your local library as they may have a dedicated bulletin board, information and/or special events for homeschoolers.
Each state has different specific rules about homeschoolng. Be sure to look them up. Some want you to have a prepared cirriculum and to keep records others just want you to have a particular number of hours in a given year. It really varies.
Homeschooling doesn't mean that you *have* to spend 8 hours at home doing schoolwork, or that you have to strictly follow a set cirriculum, which by the way is something that you probably don't want to do with your son.) You can be more flexible and go to a museum and learn about art, for example.
Joining a local sports league or cub scouts or 4-H or taking classes like art or karate or just getting together a couple times a week with some friends, etc are all great for socialization. Special events at your local library, street fairs, etc., etc. are all great ways to be social, too.
I hope some of this is helpful. I'll be happy to provide more resources, answer questions and/or just provide information and support. I'm new at this, too. :-)
Most importantly, be sure to enjoy the wild ride!
Maria
