Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy two kids two schools

We have two kids DS5 and DD4. DS has been assessed as gifted, and as you might have seen from some of my posts here, we are working on negotiating with his school. DD has not been formally assessed. I think her IQ will end up being similar to DS, but where he has always been obsessed with letters and numbers and learned to read at 3, she had not been that interested in 'academic' things. But her way of reasoning suggests she processes information and makes connections very well.

Anyway, we have been recommended a school that caters well to gifted kids, and I am looking in to it. They will have a place for DS next year if we decide to go, but there is a wait list for K. Instinctively, I feel like DD will fit in well at the local public school for at least K and probably year 1. And it would be a lot cheaper only to have one child going private. But I don't want to be denying her opportunities either.

Does anyone send their kids to different schools? I guess it is about finding the best school fit for each child, and that can mean different schools.

I also find myself wondering about the emotional aspects of switching schools for DS. I know he would make friends eventually, but going from a school where you know everyone to a school where you are joining a class that has been together for a year seems like a big challenge. But then the idea of him being better catered for academically is a big plus.

I am going to an information session at the potential new school next month, so I will get a better feel for it then, which may help with the decision. Of course if I love the school I will be that much more worried about DS not being able to go too.

We have 3 kids in 3 different schools (two private, one public). Part of the separation is age-related, but we could have chosen to have the older two at the same school. Having them separated makes life complicated because school breaks are not synchronized. I also have found it to be difficult to volunteer and to become integrated into three different communities. However, I think that it was the best decision for us. We wanted to find schools that cater to their unique needs and strengths. The younger two have 2E issues, but the oldest does not.

I don't have this problem but lots of people on this forum have had different children at different schools and I think you have distilled the main point nicely "it is about finding the best school fit for each child". I have friends who have this issue because one child excels at sport or music or dance and it is quite "normal" to send them to different schools to accommodate their needs and talents. Lots of siblings attend different schools because they are single sex schools. None of the siblings in our family finished school at the same high school. So there are lots of reasons siblings don't stay in the same educational environment.

Practical issues do come in to it. How far apart are the schools if you have to do drop offs and pick ups and do they start and finish at the same time? If so, is there after school care if you need it. What about if you have to attend functions at different schools on the same days. That isn't going to happen often but your children are very young and that is when these issues crop up most. When they are older it isn't such a big deal.

As for changing schools. That one we have done, a lot. Our DD is quite reserved but she coped surprisingly well with multiple school changes across towns and states. She has friends all over the place as a result. It actually got much harder when she got older. Now, friendship issues play an increasingly dominant role.

For what it is worth, we have done public and private schools. The private schools looked impressive and offered the world but didn't necessarily deliver. We had very good and not so good experiences with public schools. It can be really hard to know until you are there how any school works for your child. Even within each school, at this age especially, so much depends on the actual individual teacher. Try and meet the person who would be teaching your child if possible and watch them interact together, even better.

Good points ndw and flying mouse. The most convenient thing would definitely be to keep them at the current school! The schools are a 20 min drive apart, but I would do before and after school care, so that would be okay.

Hopefully I will get a feel for the school at the open day. I have heard some positive experiences for gifted kids. But also the school has a gifted coordinator who runs some programs and also helps with differentiation for the classroom teachers. As you say, it could all be promises, so I will try to get more info when I visit.

Dubsyd - are you contemplating two schools because only your oldest has proved to be high ability at the moment? Here is why I ask: after DD9 was tested last year, our tester told me that it was not uncommon for siblings to be in the same IQ range (but with different strengths). I looked into this myself, and found some sources that suggested the same thing - without LDs, siblings are often VERY close in IQ (http://www.giftedminds.com.au/attachments/Like_Minds.pdf). Low and behold, DS6 was recently tested and compared with his DYS sibling, he is within 1-3 points FSIQ/GAI (both of my DC have lower WM/PSI, than VCI/PRI, but no LDs). So you, too, may not be imagining it - your DD could be very close to your DS in ability.

I mention this, too, because there is a VERY PRICEY private gifted school in our region, but I now realize that I'd have to send BOTH DC - and that would cause HUGE financial strain. We are going to make every effort to work with our PS system first. I am actually glad that we figured DS out now, because the school seemed like a better potential "fallback" for us when it was likely only ONE child would NEED it.

Still, mine DO attend 2 different schools (and usually will if we stay in this school system), because that is how the schools organize themselves. The schools favor HUGE grade sizes, but only 3 grades per school. The upside to this for my kiddos is "whole class differentiation," where each learning leveled group has its own class and teacher.

Best of luck - it is difficult to figure out the "school puzzle"!

I have two kids at two schools! It is rough on me but awesome for them. DD9 is in the gifted school nearby. It is a public school and wonderful. She is thriving there. She is well liked, learning, making friends, her teachers enjoy her, she is well known. We thought that it would not be fair to ds7 to have to follow in her footsteps. We have a feeling that he would always be dd's little brother there.
So! DS7 goes to his own school where he can just be ds without being someone's little brother.
It would be nice for ME if they were in the same building. Just one PTO, one set of volunteer hours, one place to drive to in the mornings, same school holidays, etc. They are both getting exactly what they need educationally and emotionally, so I am pleased.

Loy58 - we never were really considering private school at all, but DS seems to be achieving at a higher level than his current school can accommodate, and we have been recommended a private school. The reason we are considering two schools is because it looks like there is a place for DS to start at the private school next year, but there is a waiting list for K, and it is a possibility that DD would not get in. That would mean the local public school for her. Which is a good school. And cheaper.

If you ask me what I think about DD's IQ, I do think she is right there with him, but at the same time, whereas he went into K with what I think is at least a year 2 reading and math level (the school has not assessed his reading level that high, but one private assessment put him at year 3 and we are awaiting another private assessment result), DD does not read yet or do much in the way of math. I think she will learn quickly once she gets into it, but I think she would be okay at the local public school at least for a couple of years. We will get her IQ assessed, but she is only 4.5 so we are waiting a bit. I guess she doesn't have the same academic drive. DS is also very into science and astronomy in particular.

I hear you on the convenience issue daytripper75! I cycle our kids to the local school now, but I will have to be getting into the car and driving to the private school. DD will end up being DS's little sister even if they end up going to different schools since DS will have spent a year there already.

I have a friend with her 4 children at 4 different private schools! Slightly crazy perhaps but she wants what is best for each child. I have another friend with 4 children, she decided to send each of the 4 to public school for Prep - Year 2, then on to the same private school.

Let us know how the open house goes but I would be surprised if they didn't do a good job selling the school (as is the intent) ;-)

I have submitted applications for both kids, but I don't think there is much chance DD will get in for next year. We have not made any final decisions yet, and we will see how we go with the open day. When we first considered the school move, I had just assumed we would move both kids. It was not until they said they might not have a place for DD that I considered sending them to different schools. Now that the idea of separate schools has been put into my head, part of me is kinda of hoping DD does not get in so we don't have to decide whether or not to send her too.

I have two in not only different schools but different school districts. My oldest, who is currently going through IEP evals, is in our home district. He is struggling quite a bit but the district is now working with me. My youngest goes out of district. He is 2E and our home district was unwilling to do the right thing. His school is a 45 minute drive one way. The times are different so I am able to pick up both but it is difficult and can be a bit irritating at times. However, I am really glad I made the decision to do this. My youngest is now thriving in school and able to advance at his own pace with a self accelerated curriculum.