Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Ready to tear my hair out - AGAIN

Well, we had a great school year with major improvements in DS(9)'s ability to control himself in the classroom starting late winter 08. His teachers loved him, recognized that he needed something more than just a a pull-out and began talking about other enrichment and compacting options.

Fast forward to May and DS seemed to have learned to control his excess energy and pay attention in class easily after a multiple diagnosis of ADHD, ODD, and Bi-Polar Summer of 07. Meds for ADHD made his emotions go haywire and we never pursued medication for the bi-polar since the mood swings leveled off with a change in school environment. In May DH and I realized that somethin was wrong and he was gaining an excessive amount of weight very quickly. (16 pounds in 7 weeks) It turns out that DS has an Underactive Thyroid and has been on medication for it now for a couple months. The medication is working wonderfully and DS has lost most of the excess weight and we are seeing a return of his energy levels.

I'm looking for suggestions for how to help him self-regulate his energy now that he is getting it back to avoid problems in the classroom next Fall. The problem is DS does not seem to be able to recognize when his energy levels are controlling him and affecting his behavior. We do the gentle reminders, taps on the shoulder, incentive charts and watch his diet. Nothing seems to help. Once his behavior passes from his control he cannot seem to harness it back. We track time periods to see if there is a pattern to the energy levels, limit screen time and encourage both regular physical activity and mental stimulation/problem solving. He is still able to keep a focus on activities that interest him but he is regressing in terms of keeping a focus an activites that he sees and unrewarding or repetitious.
I've been trying to get him to do more heavy work but he wilts and says he has no energy even when I can see him pinging off the walls and unable to focus.

Things aren't too bad yet, but I am fearful about 4th or 5th grade next Fall if we can't help him get this under control now. Thanks in advance for your suggestions!

I do not want to sound ignorant, but have you tried physical exercise. Morning runs (about 2 miles) have done wonders for my DS in terms of his anxieties and energy levels.

Is there any type of support group that he could join? Maybe he will find another gifted child who faces similar challenges and form a bond of friendship. He is getting to (or reached) the age where peer acceptance is more important than before.

It sounds as if you have considered all other areas although there is always the possibility that you are on the right track, but should take it up a notch such as Ania�s suggestion with running.

Good luck.

elh0706,
Part of what you describe with your DS9 sounds way too familiar. My DS8 can be a ball of energy sometimes. (as in ping-ponging off of the walls, but able to focus when he wants to.) I could tell you stories about him scaling the beer mountain in a blink of an eye in the grocery store at age two or three. I don't know who thought it was a good idea to stack cases of beer in a pyramid shape at super bowl time, but I was not amused. I know that this is going to sound completely crazy, and it may not be the case with you, so just bare with me. With my DS, it is all influenced by the foods that he eats. We started with the Feingold diet when he was 4 with some limited success. (keeping tract of salicylates in foods). We took out wheat and dairy at age 6 with huge improvements in energy and impulse control. Then we then took him to an allergy doctor at age 7 and found that he was allergic to wheat, dairy, corn, soy, and eggs. Corn was the absolute worst for impulse control, and corn is in everything... including all medications as a binding agent. Giving my little guy medicine was like giving him a triple shot of espresso.

I'm not saying that this is definitely the case, and for your sake, I hope it isn't. Food allergies are very hard to live with. But just keep it in mind. You mentioned that you are tracking the patterns, so you may have already looked for this. And if it was better in the fall/winter then it may not be a food issue, unless he is eating something seasonal that is setting him off. But I wanted to let you know that I spent three years keeping food journals and applying my scientific brain to solve this mystery for my own DS8. For us, our main allergen was everywhere... corn was in the toothpaste, the baking powder, the wax on the vegetables from the store (which might explain why we had limited success with the Feingold diet), the inside of the paper milk cartons, and in any product labeled with "salt" (anti-caking agent). It was truly frustrating!!! But now he is a sweet, relatively calm, sits quietly for hours reading, non-impulsive little guy.

I'm here for you even if you think the food issue is completely bogus and not for you. I know what it is like to deal with a tornado of energy.

I'm so sorry, elh! I have no advice, but I'm thinking healthy thoughts for your DS!

Thanks all! Typing it out was theraputic for me and knowing that your support, ideas and well wishes are there makes the situation easier.

First, DS refuses to run: it is too repetitious for him. I have some success with bike rides but these can only be in the afternoon since the drivers in our neighborhood are not safe for children during rush hour times. He is getting swimming every afternoon right now at camp. They also do alot of hiking and canoeing.

Second, thankfully, we have only a few food allergies to contend with - soy and tomatos. Although he didn't test as allergic to red dye, I think it sets him off so I avoid it when possible.

I think my biggest concern is how to help him recognize when his energy levels are controlling him instead of him controlling the energy. This to me seems critical to being able to stay within the acceptible bounds at school. He has had such a painful pattern of school experiences already...

Delbows, do you have some suggestions for groups? The only ones I've found have been more for social skills and geared more to recognizing social cues with age peers. DS is social and craves acceptance from his peers but at the same time has little in common with his age peers.
Our CHADD group is for parents only and basically worthless from the meetings I've gone too. It is run by a local pediatrician and all solutions seem to be medication oriented. I was also told that since he is exceeding his chrono age school requirements that if he truly is ADHD it is not an impairment for him so he can't participate in the school's group program.

I'm in one of those solve 1 problem and another pops up mentalities right now. Im a bit discouraged and frustrated. I may be crossing bridges too soon and that he is still reacting to some hormonal changes in his thyroid but the pattern I'm seeing is very familiar and worrisome. His pediatrician did just reduce his dosage a bit so that may also help.
Sorry!

No need to apology, elh. I understand the frustration! And I'm glad about the food allergies too!

You have probably seen these news articles, but I thought I would post them just in case. They were in the headlines back in November. They talk about how MRI images of the brain show developmental milestones as a function of age. In normal boys (and I wonder on what planet they found one of those??), certain areas of the brain which control impulse and attention reach a critical thickness around age 7 to 8. In boys with ADHD, it is delayed until 9 to 10. So you might be on the brink of outgrowing some of the symptoms? (I hope!)

Here are the links, for what they are worth. Hope it helps!
The first is an NPR article:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=16227385

The second link is based on the same research, but they mention an IQ dependence, so I thought it might be relevant.
http://www.sciencentral.com/articles/view.php3?article_id=218393021&cat=1_5

If you are looking for a sensory based approach to helping him regulate his motor responses you could try The Alert Program.
http://www.alertprogram.com/

The program was originally designed for kids with ADD/ADHD and learning problems from ages 8 - 12 but has been expanded to address the needs of preschoolers to adults with any sensory issues. It is geared toward helping people understand what makes them respond and how to adjust that response themselves by using sensory tools.

Another good resource for understanding our sensory responses is the book "Living Sensationally" by Winnie Dunn. Provides a good overview of what sensory processing is, how large the range of normal is and how to better understand ourselves and others from a sensory processing perspective. Not sure if sensory processing could be a contributor to the issues, but perhaps a sensory approach could help you find solutions.
Good luck!

Pinging off the walls? We have tried DANCE and TAE KWON DO with our ds...we had to look around a bit but found classes where the kids were constantly being engaged on a nearly one on one level which helped tremendously with wandering attention span and getting the energy out. These have also been recommended as great brain building types of exercise - the child has to learn a complex series of moves in addition to getting a great work out! Further, especially with with tkd, even at the early levels, there is a real sense of forward progress and achieving something.

ps, can I add tkd to the list of acronyms?

pss, I can not recommend these two types of exercise highly enough! I know at least two other boys whose parents are bringing them to tkd for similar reasons (super bright boys, btw). They too are very enthusiastic about improved behavior and ability to focus! Controlling one's body is a dominant theme in both of these disciplines.

ok, very last ps - and the kids really LOVE it.

swimming is good for focus too. Also self calming. Good for a child who may not want to go head to head with another person in competition. In swimming you can compete with yourself to better your time.

Chris lol! DS is a black belt in TKD as are myself and DH. I also think it is a great form of exercise and mental control.

DS is VERY active physically. He loves to be active and does really well in all of his sports except soccer (although he still enjoys the game.) He also can spend several hours at a time reading a book of his choosing.

I'm going to look into the Alert program again. I know DS is getting alot of physical activity but it seems that the more he gets the more he needs. It never seems to reach a point that it takes the edge of his energy levels so he can sit through a repetitive boring day at school. He lives for the pullouts and still is frustrated there that it isn't challenging. We are meeting with the school on a regular basis and they are being cooperative in trying to find a fit for him that they can provide. He is pretty much against homeschooling at this point since he really wants to spend this year with his friends. We are moving next year to a new state so this is very important to him right now.

I'm hoping the Alert program might help him to self recognize when he is acting out. He honestly doesn't seem to realize that he is moving, humming or holding a monologue with himself when the energy starts to control him. Once someone gets his attention and he is aware that he is acting out, he does control his behavior for awhile (several minutes to a couple hours). It is the self awareness that I am trying to install in him. We continue to work with a therapist for SPD issues but nothing is helping with the self awareness issue.

Well, now that he is on Thyroid medication, he can't take any of the ADHD meds according to the Psych lol. We did try different meds for several months and all of them caused really severe mood swings. The Psych then said that either DS wasn't ADHD, was Bi-Polar or one of the 10% that Meds don't help lol. Just like the LOG issue. We just can't seem to get a clear answer...

I really do appreciate all the responses and ideas!

Cool! We are still on the ladder up to blkbelt, ds8- high green, dh is green and I am a lowly yellow, just tested the other day. We really do love it. DD2 already does an awesome front kick! Sounds like your ds has really amazing energy levels!!



My son has some tolerance for school because he wants to be with other kids...but now that he has a chance to at least be in a 1 hour pull out he is actually a little excited about school itself. We have not had him eval'd for add or adhd although some relatives have asked about our ds...when I see what he can do with something he's really interested in I am reassured that he is ok, and he does seem to be growing out of some of the more extreme pinging off the walls...
Good luck with the Alert program, it sounds like a pretty positive program.

My understanding is that getting the 'just right' dose of Thyroid Medication can be a very tricky and subtle thing. Have you asked your Medical Doctor about playing around with the dose? I'd hate you see you 'getting behavioral' on your son, when a slight adjustment of his medication might do the trick.

Just a thought.

Best Wishes,
Grinity

Thanks Grinity,His Pediatrician is making adjustments to the dosage after each months blood test. I'm hoping I am jumping too soon and htat his behaviors really will settle back down.

That warning of "Danger, Danger, Will Robinson" though is blaring in the backround as I see problem behaviors cropping up again. I did pull out my Alert book again to see what I might be able to do and talked to his Psych and OT last week as well. They talked me down from the ledge for now. I'm just so afraid of another school disaster... Each school he has been in has been able to deal with him for 1 year but not 2. This will be the second in this school. I'm keeping my concerns in this forum and out of the home so he doesn't pick up on my emotions and turn this into a self fulfilling prophesy.
Thanks and have a great weekend all.

Well Done!
Perhaps your Pedi would do a test more often than the usual protocol if she/he knew what you were facing at home?

I'm glad you are sharing her and shielding at home. We are ourselves usually 'hyper-sensitive' with long memories, yes?

Perhaps you can look at your long and bumpy history and say, 'By now I have learned to deal with whatever comes my way.'

((That really wasn't meant to be funny, so why am I cracking up over here? Is it the nature of parenting these kids?))

To be honest, I do feel that I am making some kind of headway in this uphill climb. I plan to enjoy this feeling until September, at the least.

Love and More Love,
(because that's exactly what it takes)
Grinity