Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Managing a Mathy kid when you are not

How do you do it? I have tried really hard to not pass on my fear of maths to my boys and it seems to have worked - they all love numbers, and seem to intuit maths really.

My biggest concern is that I will not be able to recognise when they need new, more etc. esp for my middle son, who is definitely the PG one. He is now 5 and a half and on dreambox is passing pre-tests in grades 4 and 6. He thinks it hilarious that he hasn't done anything for 5th grade yet. We do LOF, Dreambox and SOROBAN Abacus Maths. He loves WeDo LEGO and any other LEGO. All three enjoy Timez Attack and other numeracy websites and board games we have.

So my question is - how do you know what's next, where to from here etc when you break out in a sweat over trying to remember how to add mixed fractions and you have fast moving mathy kids?

Khan Academy:)

For DS7:

Also, while I found some books on interesting math, our bread and butter is basic numeracy and math facts. I started at the "start." Numeracy (so critical to all elementary level math) and operations: addition, subtraction, multiplication, division. We're finishing up fractions/decimals/percents and will spend some time on geometry concepts, tables, graphs, etc. So, in house, very linear, with some interesting, high level concepts thrown in. I am also a big fan of word problems for applied math.

I do it this way because my DS is a perfectionist and will become extremely frustrated if he lacks foundational skills to solve harder problems (many a meltdown). So you might consider personality differences, when making enrichment choices.

I taught DS7 the way I learned, figuring that when it comes up in school, he will then have a few ways of of arriving at an answer (and he's come up with some interesting methods on his own:)

I literally had to look up how to do things on the internet because I've forgotten and probably wasn't awesome at it to begin with:). I try not to introduce anything that I can't remember how to do-- if I err on a basic problem, my son will tell everyone in sight:)

Here are some things that you can look up and introduce for fun-- perfect numbers (have your sons find the factors of a perfect number). Interesting number sequences, ratios, prime numbers, three dimensional figures, etc.

DS has a goal to reach algebra in the next few years, and his school will accommodate it if he's ready. So, I am making sure that there are few/no knowledge gaps.

Outsource. Don't try to fake it and DIY. You don't like math, it makes you nervous, right? There's not going to be any way to really hide that, and while not being GOOD at something isn't a reason to outsource, anxiety and baggage with a domain is.

Seriously. That's my suggestion for ANY interest area where you're out of your own depth and uncomfortable.

But-- and I mean this gently-- your kids are also VERY young still. I'd be quite surprised if a HG+ youngster, even a not-entirely-mathy one, had hit any kind of wall with math yet at their ages.

The first such wall seems to happen either in early adolescence (might be a girl thing related to cultural context, it's hard to know for sure, but it seems MORE common in girls who are perfectionists, anyway) or about when they hit either geometry or algebra II.

The reason, I hypothesize, is that this is often the first REAL stretch in maths-- that is, they are suddenly asked to do things in a way that they've NEVER been asked to think before, and some of them definitely have a sense of instant gratification in math by then.

Read the "why our kids hate math" thread-- and the original article with its comments, too. That foundation is really hard to overstate in terms of later importance. I know that with HG+ kids, and particularly with PG ones, we're often defaulting to "the gaps don't matter, they can be filled later" but I do think that those gaps can contribute to later difficulties mentally with their love of the subject when it becomes challenging and not merely a matter of knowing the right algorithm to apply, but treating it as a tinkering/problem-solving thing instead. They have to know how to frame those challenges-- and questioning their competence with "stuff I should already know" isn't a good way to reassure themselves that they can meet them. I don't know if that makes sense, but I've seen a LOT of adolescents give up on something-- even something that they love-- when they realize that their preparation isn't adequate (sometimes not even grossly inadequate, just missing a few things here and there). It is at that point about the psychological impact of the realization, not the cognitive challenge, which is still likely to be not that significant.

Again, though-- if you're already finding yourself anxious about explanations NOW... outsource. It's time to start looking for someone who IS a math expert and will take your kids under a wing. The time when you cannot assist is likely to be upon you soon-- and you may not notice gaps that an expert will want to fill now since s/he will understand what they'll translate into later.

I would have labeled my own DD as "mathy" at 7yo, too. She's not; she plateaued in Algebra II when she hit that wall that I talked about. Maybe it's how it was taught (I suspect so, in fact), but when she was learning the arithmetic and basic algebra/geometry material, she found it very easy. Too easy, probably, because then algebra II hit her like a truck. It was the first time that understanding wasn't entirely effortless, and it made her feel inadequate because clearly, having to WORK for understanding felt... icky.

Statistics, tutoring math, and physics saved her love of the subject-- I only knew to push her in those directions rather than into calculus because of my larger perspective and (relative) comfort with the subject, though. Well, that and knowing HER well by then.

I mention that to you let you know that someone who knows math through calculus/linear algebra/differential equations is probably a must for a math mentor to HG+ children-- they have to be able to see the big picture reliably so that they can communicate well with such children about their perspectives, and reassure/encourage them when they meet challenges. Someone who is math phobic or only fluent through trigonometry (or less) probably cannot do that. They can be a cheerleader, but what to do when that isn't what is needed, that's the problem. Start that relationship NOW so that it can pay dividends down the road.

HowlerKarma said it so much better than I did and without typos. If you have difficulty with a mentor, there are some online explanations (Khan, BrainPop, etc.) and online practice- ixl.

We're going to hit the end of my "teaching skills" as soon as algebra comes along. At this rate, it could theoretically happen at age nine or even age eight. My plan is to hand it over to DS's excellent private school teachers and/or find enrichment/tutoring through a center or individual if necessary.

Seriously, cannot overstate the importance of numeracy and competence with calculation. Find some challenging word problems (I've said this on several threads, but Singapore word problems hit the sweet spot for DS's abilities). Beast Academy is challenging- we do it to enhance analytical and emotional (did I mention not easy to solve?) skills.

Although I am not math phobic, I just have never seen math the way my DS7 sees it. Actually, until I read The Mathematician's Lament, I didn't know that math could be seen as the beautiful art form that it is. Right now, I see science as being my DS's strength. But he is also mightily strong in math. Not because he can see and learn all the facts quickly (he is actually slow with the facts). He sees the exquisite beauty in math. And when I look at math now, I try to see it through his eyes and I have a whole new appreciation for it.

Though I do outsource now (EPGY and tutorials with DH who is a subject expert), I can keep up and help DS until calculus with the day to day math. I'm on my phone now, so no sure if i am coming across clearly. My points are what others have said, feel free to outsource and also, if your DS is one of those kids who has a love and appreciation for the beauty of math, try to look at the subjeCT in a different way. You may find yourself less phobic.

If you cannot provide depth and rigor for your PG child in math, find a tutor or a mentor for him as early as possible. As HK said so wisely, outsource it.

Madoosa, I have the same fear! That was my biggest concern homeschooling and we plan to outsource. I want him working with someone who loves math. No matter how I try to grin and bear it, I *don't* love it. I will never love it. I am following this discussion closely.

thank you everyone! You have all allayed my fears about outsourcing. And I can - I have a brother who is an actuary and tutors high school maths just for fun, because he loves to see kids learning and enjoying the subject. And if he can't I will find someone who will enjoy playing with maths - I don't want him racing through grade levels for the sake of maths if that makes sense. I just want him to have fun exploring concepts, ideas, finding new ways to solve problems that he comes up with etc.

Right now I am discovering that I am no longer afraid of maths - as I work through LOF with the boys as bedtime reading. We are all just having loads of fun with it. But I AM nervous about needing to assist with anything beyond basic algebra.

I'd say right now it's more the way Nathan in particular phrases his questions that have me going "say what?". He just learns so damn fast and sees numbers in a totally different way to nearly everyone I know.