Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy SO frustrated with school....

I am feeling very frustrated right now. DS6 is in 1st grade in a new school - I've been concerned all year about work way easy for him. DS tested into gifted program in former school; in new school no program till 3rd grade. Conversations with the teacher have not been very helpful so far - I haven't seen any changes after these conversations. DS also says he HATES school because it is "too hard" - perhaps too boring?

Anyway, finally several weeks ago got high results from Stanford Achievement tests done at my request. Counselor has been much easier for me to talk to - she offers to meet WITH me and teacher. It takes a while to find a time. When the day finally arrives, they both are sick and we reschedule for middle of this week. Today I get an email from teacher - her schedule has changed, can we reschedule again. The teacher and counselor confer and give me 4 options. I choose one - counselor emails and says oops, I forgot I have another appointment then. I choose a second. Teacher emails and says oops, I actually can't do that one. Finally, we are set for my LAST choice - the day I am not even sure I can do with work/personal obligations.

I'm finding it hard not to take it personally. Obviously, it is not a huge priority. I've been a bit in knots for nearly a month now anticipating this meeting. I'm sure there is no malice involved - but I'm feeling pretty frustrated about it.

I've emailed some of my concerns along the line as we wait for this meeting. There are some good things happening. Teacher met with DS - as a result, he will not have to read along with his reading group on Mon-Thurs, but will be permitted to read on his own. When he makes books, he gets to complete them on the computer. So there are steps being taken - but I still really feel a need for a face-to-face conversation.

Thanks for letting me vent..... :-)
Susan

((pat, pat))
This is how things are in public school, sometimes...
Good luck with waiting - it's really hard to do.
Trin

Hi Susan.
I've done that waiting game too. Best to give them the benefit of the doubt, as you are, for the first time it happens. But if it happens again and someone says "can we reschedule?" I would suggest politely stating, "no, actually we cannot. My schedule cannot be changed around and my son's needs are a high priority for me right now. I'll be happy to meet that day with whoever is available in your place if you are unable to attend. Perhaps the principal and/or superintendent can make it?"
I hope your meeting goes off without a hitch. Keep us posted.

Hi Susan,
I like Debbie's point!
But, while you have the time, I'm reccomending that you do your homework.

Have you figured out what your "solutions to try" are?
(Schools like it better if you have a ready made answer)
Have you figured out if the scores are against 1st or 2nd graders? This could likely be done over email.
Did you/can you:
1) Try to get a handle on where you son it at academically - build a resume of what kinds of work he can do. Work with him at home and see what academic level of work suits him in all the subject areas. If possible borrow some homework from kids who are 1, 2, 3 and 4 years ahead of him. Get lexile levels for the books he is reading at home.

2) figure out if you son is a candidate for grade skipping - if he's highly gifted he may need a two year jump. Read the Iowa Acceleration Guide Manual for more details.

3) Find a way for the gifted teacher of the 3rd grade program to meet your child and for you to sit in and watch what they are doing in the classroom. Many of us have found that 3 hours a week or less of a "pull-out" program is basically useless. Remember that Gifted programs tend to be aimed toward the majority of gifted children. The majority is clumped at the bottom of whatever range they are picking from. This is terrific if your child fits - can be a big dissapointment/waste of time if your child doesn't.

4) Join your state gifted association. Try to talk to someone from your state.

Does this look overwhelming? It is. And it's not fair. So pout and vent, and then get in gear. Pick a direction and move in it. And celebrate the steps you have gotten so far. Every little bit helps! Isn't Parenting a surpise?

Love and More Love,
Trinity