Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Math for ages 3-4

Thanks to everyone for the great suggestions - both about resources and about strategies for coping. As it happens, a lot of this began with the Schoolhouse Rock video that Fitzi mentions. DW and I had watched those little pieces as children and were delighted to discover, shortly after DS was born, that they were available on DVD. Practically before he could talk DS knew how to count by 3s because of the song "Three is a magic number". He absolutely loved it. Who knows whether he loved the song because of the numbers or he loves numbers because of the song, but in any case there's no going back now. Finally, yesterday, I broke down and printed out a multiplication chart for him; we had to take it away from him so he could focus on eating his dinner.

I do have a quick and happy update. DW and I met with the director of DS's school this morning, and he is being very sensible about the whole thing. He said explicitly that he wants DS to feel comfortable with his interests, and he wants to provide an environment in which they can flourish. The new teacher will plan to watch him carefully for the first month or so to get a sense for what kinds of things he is interested in, and then try to work with him in those areas. He did say that he thinks it's important not to allow him to get "ghetto-ized" - to become interested only in numbers and nothing else - but that seems quite sensible to me. We'll see how it all works in practice, but I'm hopeful.

BBDad

Yup. We have lists of Fibonacci numbers, Lucas numbers, factorials, happy numbers, ..., you have to practically tear it out of their little hands...

Glad to hear things are going well.

JB

This makes me a wee bit nervous because of our experience with statements like this.

DS7 was obsessed with cars and all wheeled vehicles in pre-K. They were his whole world. His teacher allowed it for a while, but at some point she decided that he was too focused on his own interests. She removed ALL wheeled things from the classroom. All of them!

I'm not sure what she thought would happen--he'd suddenly not be obsessed? But his reaction was just what I would have predicted: he took blocks and build cars out of them, using the cylinder for an axle. Take that, pre-K teacher!

The fact is, if these obsessive-style HG+ kids are on something, they're ON IT! There's no way to dissuade them from it. You can--and should!--expose them to other things, other topics, of course. But you also have to accept that this is your little guy's thing, and it will remain his thing...usually right up until you have spent a fortune on birthday gifts for him centered solely on his obsession. That week, he'll get over it and be onto something totally different, but equally obsessive. (And that's only funny because it's true!)

My warning: I'd be a little wary of the school because of the "ghetto-izing" comment. They will not be able to dissuade him from his obsession without making him feel bad about himself. I can almost guarantee it! But if he's allowed to have his love without being shamed or refused, it will eventually run its course.

...Not to rain on your parade, but I wish I'd been warned when I was where you are.

I've actually never heard that term: "ghetto-izing". I admit it didn't garner a positive reaction.
I wasn't going to say anything but since Kriston piped in......

I hope this fall is a dream school experience for your son and it absolutely can be.

I would just keep your eye out for glitches. If things are not going well sometimes the child's behavior will change and that's a good reason to start looking into things.

DD6 had a very bad year in K. The teacher told me everything I wanted to hear but didn't do anything she said she would and I couldn't pin her down on it until after winter break.
That was a lot of wasted time in my opinion, it didn't have to be that way.
Additionally, she will swear to this day that DD loved kindergarten and was always happy. She literally had sunshine blowing out her butt when she told me all about how everything was perfect.
However, DD came home from school withdrawn, sullen, sometimes crying, sometimes saying she was stupid.
On the off chance it was just a transition issue, I peeked throught the window sporadically. Sure enough I saw her on several occasions sitting by herself in the back of the room with a VERY sad look on her face. But it wasn't until nearer to the end of the year that I figured this stuff out.
I like to take people at their word and had no reason to think she would either lie or be so clueless about the situation.
ON the other hand DD8's second grade teacher did everything she promised. There were a few bumpy moments, but all in all, she had a better year than I could have ever expected.

Just pay attention to what's going on and gauge your child's most common mood after school and also before school. It they are always upset about the prospect of going to school in the morning, it's worth looking into.

It's funny - as I was writing that sentence about "ghetto-ization" I wondered if anyone would get worried about it. I can completely see your concern, Kriston. If keeping him out of the "ghetto" meant stripping him of all access to his interests that would be a disaster. For purely contingent reasons, though, I'm a bit less worried about it in our particular case. They could, of course, refuse to let him do any interesting kind of math at school - that would be bad. But since DS has always had this second obsession - baseball - I think he's less likely to come off as at risk of narrow-mindedness. The happy side of his baseball obsession is that it puts a certain kind of adult more at ease around him. (If they had any idea the amount of time he devotes to these two obsessions, though - baseball and numbers - well, they would certainly become worried again.) In any case, it remains to be seen how the whole thing will work out. I'm hopeful, but stand at the ready...

BBDad

P.S. - I had to remind myself what happy numbers are, JB. Pretty cool...

Well I guess if YOU are using the term to describe the conversation..........it's less concerning than if the director actually used that term in conjuction with describing a child's learning environment.

I don't think anyone is worried about it.....

I agree completely. It's so hard because we never know when a school is telling us what we want to hear and when they're going to live up to what they promise until we're in the thick of it.

So hard!

And BTW, the example I gave wasn't even our big-time bait and switch example from a pre-K... A second school sold us a serious line and then delivered on none of it for half the year, until DH and I overcame our phobia of making waves and became "those parents." It was very disappointing.

They can promise you the moon, but it's whether they deliver or not that matters. And they say very little that can tip you off, so you really do have to read between the lines carefully. So I think that anyone dissuading your son from pursuing his interests is probably someone to watch out for. It means they don't *get* him, and finding someone who *gets* your GT child is really 3/4 of the battle!

Incogneato -

I'm slow at composing these things, and we cross-posted. I certainly agree, though, that a lot will depend on how the thing gets implemented; there's plenty of room for its not working out. We'll keep our fingers crossed, but so far at least people seem to be approaching it with a lot of good will. That may not be sufficient, but it's better to have it than not.

BB

Busy thread! I obviously crossposted, too.

As long as you're on top of it and not practicing wishful thinking--not that you would, just that I have in the past!!! --then it should be fine.

Good will is a start. If the teacher gets him, that's the key though. The teacher in the room! All else is really just noise.

It is a lot. You are definately starting off on the right foot with the school and I am wishing you much look.

Look forward to hearing some success stories!!!!!