Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments A Dear Teacher... thread

Many of us have written about struggles with teachers who do or don't get our kids. I've also read a number of posts saying, "I wrote a heartfelt message describing what this person did to my child this year, but deleted it." This is a place where we can express ourselves to others as a cathartic exercise in an environment where people understand.

I thought I'd create a thread where we can post the angsty emails that didn't get sent or the ones praising the teachers who have been so wonderful. I'll start with one of each.

(ETA: there's no obligation to write about both types of teacher in a single message.)

Dear Wonderful Math Teacher,

Thank you so much for all that you did for my child. He ate every word you said this year, and has been so enthusiastic about math, he really enjoys doing his homework and thinking about the ideas you've taught him. We know that his positive, happy attitude is primarily due to you. You understand the subject matter and know how to explain it so that newbies get it. You seem to have a magic sense for knowing where the kids get stuck, and sometimes you anticipate their mistakes and help them understand a tough idea. Best of all, you teach the hard stuff because you know that the kids in his class can learn it (and they do). You're also warm, open, and funny, and the kids love you. We're going to miss you next year.

Dear Dreadful Math Teacher,

I just thought I'd write to let you know a bit about the damage you did to my kids this year. It's pretty clear that you don't understand the subject you're teaching and are substituting rigidity in form for substance in teaching. My kids have suffered under you for ten months, and it's finally almost over. My daughter has lost a lot of confidence because you force her to use your kooky and mathematically incorrect methods, and she's started thinking that she's stupid. My son feels the same way. I can't decide if you're just mean or an incompetent person who capitalizes on parental love of "tough" teachers to hide your lack of knowledge. Either way, we're almost done with you, and both of my kids will regain the confidence you stole from them. They will succeed in spite of you.

Good idea. If anyone knows who this teacher is and wants to share it with her, go ahead!

Dear Dreadful First Grade Teacher:

I wanted to let you know that DS has thrived since we pulled him out of your class, and the school, mid-year. He now has a teacher who understands how important it is that all of the children in the class progress and learn. You claimed that he did not need anything special because he was "happy" and treated me like a pushy tiger mother. You seemed to go out of your way to hold him back, not "push" him, and make sure he doesn't learn anything new. Luckily you have not completely ruined him, and he has said several times how proud he is that he is learning "hard math" and is reading at an advanced level. His new teacher has each child be "Star of the Week" and display a talent. DS got to stand on a chair (as a stage) and the kids asked him multiplication questions. He was grinning ear to ear and so proud of himself and how impressed the other kids were. Considering how many other challenges he has, I think he deserves to be proud of something rather than having his strengths completely dismissed and ignored. You took a strength that that could have been used to motivate him, and motivate the other students, and turned it into something negative.

You claimed that he would not need to be given any math above a first grade level, and that even first grade math might be too hard for him, despite his high IQ and achievement scores. How strange that his new teacher was able to get him to understand probability, how to convert units of measurement using multiplication and long division, and adding and subtracting negative integers.

His writing improved dramatically within 2 days of being with the new teacher, because she recognized that he was regressing and wasn't doing his best work. She firmly (but kindly) told him that she was expecting more and he obliged. Kids tend to do what is expected of them. You expected nothing of him and ignored him, and he did no more than what he could get away with.

I strongly suggest that you think about what you are trying to accomplish as a teacher and whether there are children remaining in your class that have not made adequate progress, or have regressed. I also suggest that you listen to parent concerns from now on, and stop with the passive aggressive behavior when you disagree with a parent. Thanks for your time.

Isn't that just typical of brothers?

Dear horrible long-term substitute from second grade,

I just want you to know that four years later, just the mention of second grade still prompts an anxiety response from my daughter because of you. Without knowing anything about my twice-exceptional daughter, you summarily told her that she had no place being in a gt classroom. You never looked at her file. You never read the report from the educational psychologist indicating that she has a three sigma IQ and dyslexia/dysgraphia. You never spoke with the school psychologist who strongly advocated for her being in that class despite the well-documented fact that she couldn't spell (your obsession). You focused so hard on her deficits that you couldn't see anything else. You had no understanding of her social and emotional needs. You humilated my child and caused deep wounds to her self-esteem. Talking with other parents over the years, I've learned that you caused damaged to a large number of children in that class. I hope that you have found a new profession.

Dear music teacher:

My kid lights up any time he sees you. He lights up when he realizes it's a music day. He eagerly played his violin for you-- and his entire class-- after refusing to participate in any recitals this year. He knows a wider variety of music and music theory because of you, and he's more engaged in his own violin lessons because of you. Most importantly, you've got the pulse of my kid and you've brought him out of his shell.

Dear Teacher,

I know my kid is antsy, and I am quite certain that he drives you insane with his constant questioning. Still, it would be nice if you could say something positive about him in the pick up line. You have plenty of opportunity to say something positive, as you are at my window almost daily reporting on minor offenses. When I see your smiling face walking toward my car, I want to bang my head against the steering wheel and then drive off. He wouldn't be singing the entire Frozen soundtrack, in reverse order, if you gave him something challenging to do.

Signed,
June 19th Can't Come Fast Enough

Dear ds's 4th grade teachers (2 of them team teach),

Thank you so much for accepting my child into your classes a month into school when with no warning and planning one day the guidance counselor walked him from 3rd grade and plopped him into an empty desk in fourth. It must have been quite a shock because grade skipping is so very unusual.

You made him feel welcome and did your jobs professionally and with great love, caring, and respect for him as a learner. When there were concerns with asynchronous skills (handwriting and composition), we worked through them together as a team and his growth was phenomenal in that area. It was good for him to actually have to put a ton of effort into a specific area because even with the skip other subjects remained fairly effortless.

He has been so very lucky to have spent this year with you both.

Thanks,
Mom

Dear Toddler Teacher,
I can't believe how lucky we were to have you care for and teach
our son from 11 to 19 months! When he didn't nap you didn't
punish him but rather exposed him to the solar system, the states and capitals, musical instruments and the human body just to name a few and read countless books to him while his classmates were sleeping.

You told us about your husband who is a master concert violinist
and got his Phd. at the age of 16 and how our son reminded you of
him. When our baby could read at a mid first grade level at 18 mos. you prepared us for the struggle we would all have when he
started school.

At five he remembers you and speaks of what a wonderful time he
had in your class. Thank you for every thing you did for us!