Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy How to tell child their moving schools

We are moving our DS6 to a different school in the fall for 1st grade. He will be entering their separate gifted classroom in 2nd grade. We are moving him from Spanish to an English classroom and feel it is better to make the move now for friendships and also because this other school is more open to differentiation and acceleration to prepare him for the 2nd grade class. (They have more experience with HG/PG kids.) Here is the dilemma. How do we tell him and when? He will have an opportunity to visit the school in the next couple of weeks and I am just wondering if anyone else has gone through this and, of so, what worked for your child? My DH and I don't like keeping it from him, but we felt that waiting until close to the end of the school year would be better for him socially. We want to approach it from an academic point by telling him that moving to English will give him more science and language arts opportunities, etc. Thoughts?

Just noticed my title for the post say "their" and not "they're". Jeez!

We transferred DS from one school to another last year for 1st grade. We told him as soon as we decided and he was part of the process - went on school tours with us, took a standardized test with the new school for admissions, met the classroom teacher etc. We told him that the new school was more rigorous academically and that he would be less bored there. He has transitioned well and was happy about the move. So, yes, do let him know early (unless you don't want the current school to find out about your move) and keep talking to him over the summer about the new opportunities the new school brings. Also take him to the new school for a tour and to meet the teacher and other students closer to Fall, if possible. And my son's new school gave us a bunch of curriculum they use for K and told us to review them at home if possible so that the child has an idea about what went on in K. Which turned out to be a great idea and helped the transition become smoother.

When our DS8 skipped second last year, we told him after the school year. The thinking being, we didn't want the onus of explaining to the other kids (or teacher) to be on his head at the end of the school year. Since there is always churn between years, that seemed like the best time. Kids he knew outside of school (that he saw in the summer) he could tell as he wanted in that smaller context. It is a small difference that it is the same school.

We are waiting till school ends to tell ds so he won't feel he has to explain. He has visited the school and emailed with the new principal. We also signed him up for summer camp at the new school.

We're telling him tonight at dinner. He has his tour of the new school with the new Principal in two days so hopefully it will go well and he'll have a couple of days to think about it. There was a big art event at his school last night where he showed a piece so we wanted to wait until after. I don't think we're going to tell him to not say anything. I have been back and forth with that idea. It makes it seem sort of secret and wrong that he is moving and I want it to be something awesome. I might change my mind before tonight! There have already been a couple of parents asking if he's coming back next year and I've said we're still figuring it out. The Principal knows since we have been working with him, but I have no idea who he tells and who else needs to know. Here goes....

We told DS it was a possibility (he was 6 at the time) and he toured the new school once, then stayed for a half day another time (in the classroom he was going to be in there). He loved both visits, which helped. We did get a lot of questions from parents about whether DS was coming back to the original school (we were vague, saying we were still considering our options, etc.).

That it had been a really rotten school year probably eased the transition for DS. He was a little concerned, but overall fine with the whole thing.

Well, I told him yesterday afternoon and the number one thing he was unhappy about was leaving Spanish. Sort of broke my heart considering he has no idea how little his teacher has done for him this year and has completely disengaged from giving him anything challenging or acknowledging his capacity to learn! When he calmed down enough he was able to tell me that Spanish was the only thing he learned this year and that's why he loved it. His initial reaction was this, "My world will be ending in 25 days (the number of days left in the school year). Then the darkness will begin." Perhaps he has a future as a sci-fi writer? Way more dramatic than normal, but his allergies are bad so he is more sensitive. As the moments passed I think he became more intrigued about visiting the new school and has agreed not to tell his classmates until next week. He agreed that it would be good for him to let his brain figure everything out first. Now we'll see how the parents react. Why does sending your kid to school feel like middle school for parents? The social intricacies of parent relationships needs to be a book. Maybe it is?