Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Overwhelmed

I am looking for advice from other parents who have more experience with advocating for gifted children than I do. DD is in first grade (7) and scores in the HG to PG range (depending on the test). We found this out while evaluating for possible ADHD. She is a very good student academically but her teacher said she seems to daydream, create art or read at her desk while she should be listening. Her teacher said it does not seem to be impacting her academics though. The evaluator said she does not have any signs of ADHD. I signed her up for ixl math and she loves it and has finished through fifth grade in two months. She reads DH and my old college text books and understands the subjects thoroughly. Before we got test results we had not given her any advanced academic stuff but since we have she seems to consume the information. She did not go to kindergarten since it is not mandatory in our state (we had a wonderful nanny) and due to our careers we are not able to homeschool. She is a wonderful little girl but we are really not sure what to do in terms of education?

Welcome! It can be overwhelming at first. I'm sure others will have some great resources to suggest.

What would your daughter like, from a learning standpoint? That is a good place to start.

There's a great guide to advocating for your child on the Davidson site. I would look through that and see what questions/ideas it sparks for you.

Also, what are the school options available to your family?

I honestly think DD would be happiest if she could just stay home and learn what she wanted but since we can't do that we have been looking for other options. We live in a rural area so there is only one very small private school and our local public school. There is a gifted program but it does not usually start until third grade. It is 1/2 day for reading and a 1/2 day for math. The principle at her school said he would let her go ahead and start the program but that still leaves 4 days a week with no enrichment. She just seems so unhappy since she started school. She does not complain just really does not act like herself and I hate to see her that way.

It sounds as though you are fortunate to have an open-minded principal! Believe me, that is a big part of the solution. As you read and learn more about options, you may find other ideas that can be implemented in her current school. For example, she could take math or other subjects with an older class. She might be provided higher level books (appropriate level) or spelling words during class time.

Might there be the possibility of your nanny returning to homeschool her?

If having a nanny was not an undue financial hardship could you employ her or another person to do crafts and after school activities? If you could stagger your work times it may help. It is possible to school evenings, weekends etc and most people find it only requires a few hours at that age - especially since your daughter has drive and can read.

For me paying childcare has been a major financial strain though so it may not be an option.

If the principal allows your child to start the gifted program, is this a full grade skip?

Are you familiar with the Davidson Guidebooks, including "Advocating for Exceptionally Gifted Young People"?

The Iowa Acceleration Scale (http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/iowa_accel_scale.htm) may also be of interest.

Based on those facts and circumstances, I would recommend continuing to have someone (or more than one person) assigned to your highly gifted daughter and let her work in an office setting out of your home. I would check on cyber schools or homeschool curriculum. I would look for other opportunities for her to develop her interests / future career goals. I am fairly certain that the top 15% of the human population (by IQ) is considered gifted and talented, which means look for the creative arts that appeal to her -- singing, dancing, acting, playing instruments, languages, etc. Definitely find Mensa in your area for her and link her to the other gifted children. She sounds wonderful. Congratulations and leverage off of what you read at this and other gifted / profoundly gifted sites. We have found elementary school to be mainly social for our child. It is possible that no one in your district truly understands your specific situation. You have to find the other gifted families. Sometimes, families go through universities (Connecticut, Maryland); it depends on your area. Hang in there.

Thanks so much for the ideas/suggestions! Her nanny was a close family friend and a retired elementary school teacher and kept her for very little. We would love to have her but she had to have a major surgery and simply is not able to keep her anymore (although she still picks her up from school a couple of days a week just to spend time with her) she also charged us significantly below the going rate (and would not let us pay her more). We are trying to find someone who would be willing/able to homeschool her that we could afford. She likes the social aspect of school and plays well with others but prefers lunch and recess to any other subject. I talked to her teacher and she does not want to give her advanced work until she participates more often in class. However, all of her test grades are 100's so I don't know what she wants. The principal said that they do not do grade skips. However, if we homeschool her and show that she completes two years of material he would be willing to put her a grade up. Thanks again for all of the ideas. her nanny kept telling us that she was very gifted, we probably should have listened!

Also, the gifted program is not advanced curriculum per se, they described it as a half day of creative projects related to reading/math topics. So it could vary widely from what she is learning in class.

I would have another conversation with your principal and tell him you're concerned that your dd is not challenged enough to grow one full year academically, which she is entitled to do. How can she grow if she's already getting 100s?

I would ask them to do the IAS, but also see if she can test on end of year subjects for 2nd and 3rd grades to see where her best academic placement might be.

You should probably also hunt around the Davidson data base for ideas and recommendations on creating a positive relationship with the administration, successful advocating and the benefits of grade skipping.

Recognizing that some kids are gifted and don't need yet more drill is good. This sort of program is used by districts to contain kids within the grade level curriculum, though. We have that sort of district that does this through well-implemented differentiation: the gifted kids make lots of public service posters for the school and do plenty of enrichment in place of actually learning more.

It hasn't worked out that well for us and your DD is far beyond our kids. I would not expect this program to offer her much. In your place, knowing what I know now, I would try to either send in my own above-level material to work on in class or pull her out to someplace she would be learning something new. A friend homeschools outside of her work hours, and has a nanny during regular school hours, which works well for them.

ETA: I just realized this sort of gifted program comes with the assumption that kids only learn things IN SCHOOL when a teacher intentionally teaches it to them. This means that if they got 100% on last year's testing, and got 100% again on this year's testing, the child must have learned well from this year's teaching. How else could they have gotten the material? Because it is not possible to have known the material before it was taught.

In our experience the district resents us for sending our kids to outside tutoring to learn beyond the grade level curriculum (when it's just something the kids picked up) and would believe it's simply not possible for, say, a seven year old to read and understand college textbooks. If you are lucky, you may have teachers and administrators that will understand when they take a close look at your child, or when you have conversations with them. If not, the school people may resent you for challenging their worldview. Keep in mind that you will probably have to help them adjust, one way or another.

Not an expert, just opinionated.

This is similar to the gifted program my ds participated in in elementary school. While it was far from ideal and didn't allow for him to advance academically against the measured curriculum, he actually loved it. The thing that worked for him was that even though it wasn't designed to move kids "up" in curriculum, it was designed specifically for gifted kids and was taught by teachers with training in gifted education. The students worked on projects which were designed to inspire deep thinking, and the teachers understood how to relate to their need for intellectual stimulation as well as understanding the quirkiness and challenges of being gifted.

polarbear