Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Identification, Testing & Assessment Scores go out tomorrow and I need a mantra

My older daughter isn't profoundly gifted (at least, I don't think so).

She could sound out words at a young age, acquires languages and math concepts quickly, and now loves to read. But she's motivated by social factors like fitting in and connecting with people emotionally. She wouldn't work on worksheets all day long if given the chance--she'd play outdoors. She has missed maybe two math problems the entire year at school, and though she gets maybe two or three words spelled wrong per page of writing (she's in 1st grade). Her average book of choice is about 3rd or 4th grade level.

Still, our district is very highly competitive. As far as I can see, her skills are common and she plays them down. I don't know that any children in her class are having trouble with math at all.

So, I am kind of nervous to see the results. I have no idea how she'll test, but I do know that most people's test scores don't change a whole lot, percentile-wise, over time. I'm not worried about a very low score--which I believe would just be an indication of her being an unusual thinker, or having not paid attention--because I know she is capable of great performance.

I don't even know what I'm worried about. Her dad and I both tested well and I guess I hope she will, too. I don't know why I feel I'd be disappointed if she did not do well. As if somehow, her test scores on ONE test reflected on me as a parent, or on her as a person. She's very creative and smart.

It's almost like it's too much information. I know she has a level but I don't want to know what it is!!! Unless it's really super awesome. LOL

Just remember that she is the same person tomorrow that she was today, before you had the score.

One of my mantras: Information is a good thing.

It sounds like you have a bit of a preconceived notion of what a gifted child "looks" and acts like - but really, gifted kids are as different as night and day in what they like to do, when they learn to read, whether or not they like worksheets! Just like their not-so-gifted same age kids

Try not to worry - it's one test, one day. She'll still be the same amazing kid she is now even after you know what her scores are. Plus, to be honest, are you sure that one score from the school district is really all that meaningful? There are plenty of us here who's kids have been tested more than once on multiple types of tests and had results that don't always match each other (the tests) or our kids.

Hang in there!

Best wishes,

polarbear

You've received wonderful responses.

I would add one thing which may be helpful whatever the score may be... that mantra would be "mindset".

Carol Dweck's Mindset encourages praising effort, talking up the fun of the mental challenge worthy of one's potential. Links to youtube videos:
Ashley Merryman & Po Bronson: The Myth of Praise (link- )
Teaching a Gifted Mindset (link- )

Typing this on a phone. We definitely praise effort in this house rather than some ephemeral label-related quality. And my daughter does not even know what the test was for, of course. I have no intention of sharing the scores with her. It is too much for a small child to process.

I'm not sure one test is that meaningful... I think that's why I'm asking for a mantra. Logically, I realize that it would be useful if we really needed services but that it's not meaningful in a sense of valuing her ability.


I do have an idea of a services-needing gifted child, but that is not my image of a smart child, a bright child, or a high performing child. It is rather the type of child who is so driven to engage that refusing her the opportunity could be painful. It is for this child that gifted programs exist. The high-critical, high-creativity, does not function in the classroom environment kid. I mean most kids are bored with rote learning. Everyone hates worksheets designed for remedial learners. With gifted kids it is something different.

Otherwise, why spend public money on it?

Anyway... Reading this message board gives me the feeling that I could probably test until I found her awesomeness, if I needed that number.

What I want is not to need a number. Maybe I have found my own mantra. thanks for letting me vent!

To tell or not to tell is a long-standing question/issue/debate for which there is no definitive right/wrong answer as it depends upon the child. Some kiddos are very aware that they are different from the others in their class, and may deeply feel that there is something wrong with them... for some kids it is a relief to have an explanation of how/why they are different and that they may blend in a bit better with older kids.

That fact it is just one test is often explained by calling it a snapshot, just one view of a child.

Scores can be helpful to have prior to a deep need manifesting itself... Some say it may be difficult to test a child once it has become obvious there is a mismatch of curriculum to the child.

While this may seem logical and ideal to some, others may say it buys into myths and stereotypes of what gifted kids look like. Regardless, many parents find learning capped at grade level or one grade level above, even in "gifted" programs and services... painful indeed for gifted kiddos.

If a kiddo is sufficiently different, testing may help understand their intellectual profile. Some parents may be seeking this understanding of their child, others may be seeking the area(s) of strength in a asynchronous child (presuming this may be what you mean by the child's awesomeness?), others may be seeking a number which helps the child qualify for advanced academics or a particular camp or program, a few may be seeking bragging rights.

Whatever it takes to help each kid understand him/herself, develop sustained motivation, and translate their personal level of intellect into achievement and accomplishment.

Indigo, thank you for the mindset link. This is exactly why we agreed to have ds12 skip 6th grade; we were afraid he was developing a fixed mindset exacerbated by perfectionism.

It's an interesting window into one aspect of your child. Thinking of you today, Binip.

KADmom, I am pm'ing you.