Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional IEP Violations and Discriminatory Comments

So recently I posted about iep violations and discrimination against my son here: http://giftedissues.davidsongifted....This_is_why_I_dream_of_O.html#Post183127

It's been an ongoing issue - for years now actually, starting in kindergarten. After things escalated pretty badly this past week between the principal and me again over this, the Special ED Director stepped in and met with my husband and me today. I don't trust her. However, she listened to us, believed us (allegedly), and says she wants to help us. One of the things she is going to do is organize a training of paraprofessionals and staff on hidden disabilities of dysgraphia and EDS. She said she will even put this in the iep and they are going to more fully train the staff on these type of disabilities and they will make sure the staff that works with DS must attend. They are also going to talk to the teachers about making sure they 'assign the scribe' instead of DS having to walk around going up to paras and asking them to scribe for him (which is leading to paras annoyingly replying "Seriously? You can't write this yourself?") And of course we are all working on getting as much AT as possible to help him on the road to independence.

Sounds good, right? Let's hope.

Just wondering if anyone has any insights... any advice on anything else to request while I got their attention?

DH and I are hopeful this will end a lot of the 'put-downs' and iep violations.

Our situation is somewhat different-- but-- we've addressed this same set of issues from the angle that my child has the right to expect MEDICAL PRIVACY afforded to her unaffected peers. So if classmates don't need to share the private details of things that have passed between themselves and their physicians in order to access the learning environment, then neither should my child.

Once that cat is out of the bag, there's no putting it back in again. I've come down HARD on school staffers for "outing" my child. Even if it's done with the best of intentions, it's not inclusive. At also cannot be ameliorated-- once classmates "know" then they know.

I have said this before--I hope you got the book From Emotions to Advocacy. I think that the way you document going forward is crucial. Pete Wright really knows his stuff, and I strongly believe that his approach is more likely to get what you want in the short term, and in the long term if you go to due process much more likely to result in a favorable decision.

This link has good articles but I think it is worthwhile to get the book.
http://www.wrightslaw.com/info/dp.index.htm

Sounds really good Irena. I think you definitely have their attention.

We were offered something similar when DD was first identified and the district wanted her enrolled in their public rather than lovely little private. They planned to use her as a case study on the need for differentiation. To train on the idea that a kid could need remediation in one area but be on level or ahead in others. It all sounded great and we were told by friends in the district that if she was the case study for it we would be sure she would get anything and everything that she needed. As far as I can tell this training never occurred. Right around the time it was supposedly scheduled is when the horrible principal turned on DD and decided she didn't believe any of this was real. Obviously something went on behind the scenes but we have no idea what.

Last year we had a substitute para who refused to scribe for DD. not quite sure what she thought she was doing there but refused to write anything. Told DD she was lazy and disrespectful for trying to get out of doing her own work and she wouldn't help her with that. DD got very upset and reported it. They had this woman apologize but still had her spend the rest of the day with DD. Later when DD needed a break - I think probably due to the anxiety of being with this woman - who did they have take a walk alone with her? You guessed it. The best I can tell she gave DD some whole guilt trip for reporting her, she needs this job, etc.

No one could defend this woman but all said they really couldn't do anything to prevent this sort of thing. She was hired from a temp agency and had been used before without issue. She would not be assigned to DD again in the future but they could not be sure someone else didn't take the same attitude. Nice...

So you are not alone. Hopefully having gotten their attention (and having a good lawyer in your back pocket) will make things better for your DS. How is he at self advocating? My DD is very assertive and is willing to report things like this. Not all kids are. Maybe he needs some kind of safety code he can use if he won't speak up. For a while in first grade with the awesome teacher we gave DD a sign shaped like an ear. She would place it on her desk if she had something she wanted to tell the teacher - good or bad. I wonder of something like that might help?

Thanks all. I ordered the book Deacongirl (From Emotions to Advocacy). Yeah I need to document the meeting today but am struggling (it's so hard when it's one's own child). If anyone has a template, please send it/post it.

Yes, I remember that from your story. We've had very similar issues. The teachers are at times a problem but the paras are almost always a huge problem for my son. Last year's para was terrible she also would refuse to scribe for DS (DS said she would keep putting him off) and she would also put him down for needing the accommodation. It was actually very upsetting to hear. However, the teachers also set this dynamic up. Like Sweetie pointed out, teachers are saying to my son, "okay go find someone to scribe for you for this section." Then my son is in a position of walking around begging someone to help him which seems to often lead to an exasperated/snide/annoyed/sarcastic response of "seriously? you can't do this?" This would be less likely to happen if the teacher actually directed the para herself. And I'd be a little more sympathetic if this were not such a good school district and if they didn't have so much support. There are 20 kids in the class, there is the teacher, a special-ed teacher (I think in there b/c of my son's spec-ed category, but she works with all the students it seems), a student teacher, and two paraprofessionals. And, quite honestly, there is simply no need for the put-downs. None at all. Just no need to put a kid down for disability like that.

Not so good. He ignores and/or gives up. But he doesn't fight back yet. Too scared. He says that if he does he'll get sent to the principal's office for "talking back" I tell him if you are talking back b/c you are being denied your accommodations or b/c someone if putting you down due to your disability you know I have your back. But he says it's still too scary and too stressful. I don't blame him. *I* get nervous fighting with these people! It's scary for a kid. We did talk to today about having him go to his guidance counselor or the school psych both of whom he likes and feels comfortable with but while we've talked about that it just never seems to pan out right. He never feels like he can just access the counselor (he tried in the past but she runs social skills and classes and she just isn't always there.) So he kind of gave up on that. I don't think he ever tried going to the school psych but she is out on med leave right now so she's not around.

Irena the Wright's website has a page with the steps on how we should write these letters to schools. here it is http://www.wrightslaw.com/nltr/11/ss.short.course.htm