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    mlam #182234 02/14/14 10:22 PM
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    When DD was around 33 months, I thought Montessori would be a good fit for her. Her father on the other hand was not all that convinced so I stayed home with DD this year and she did (too many) classes and lessons. I'm exhausted.

    We are looking into a couple of 100% play-based programs for next year. DD was a very academically inclined child but she has changed somewhat recently. The old DD is still somewhere in there but she prefers to play these days and the only "schooling" type of activity she wants to do is music.

    DD was probably ready for music lesson at 2.5. However, she wanted to stick to free play and would run away as soon as we tried to teach her so we outsourced music lessons to a professional when she finally said she was ready to learn music. Once her teacher got an overall picture of her cognitive development, lessons started moving much faster so much so that it seems to be going too fast to me but DD is forging ahead. I don't' want her to burn out so I'm trying to focus on enjoyment rather than progress. She gets wiggly then teary time to time but when she is focused, she looks and performs much "older" if that makes sense. Overall, I'm really happy that she is learning music.

    mlam #182235 02/15/14 12:56 AM
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    Regarding music: We started lessons in piano at age 4 (traditional and not suzuki). It was hard for me to find someone who taught traditional piano for children at that age.
    Before that, for my very musical son, we enrolled him in a very good play based developmental pre-k and preschool program 5 days a week. They had daily singing, circle time, dancing to music, music at naptime, sing-alongs with music instuments etc. I also bought him a cheap keyboard and taught him things like Twinkle Twinkle and Old Macdonald (I just googled for these songs as I don't know music). 4 was a great age to start music, in retrospect. My child is a hard worker and he is very eager to learn and is an extremely compliant and musically inclined student. But, he would have had a hard time with the practice requirements if he started earlier than that. And with instruments, practicing is essential to progress. Otherwise the child might get frustrated and want to quit. And be aware that at the early ages, the music teacher might expect you, the parent to be available at every lesson to take notes and learn with your child so that you can go home and help with the daily practice sessions. You need to be with your child while he practices (in our case, our teacher expects my help at home until DS is 8 years old). So, that is a long term time commitment for the parent.
    I recommend that you wait until your child is atleast 3.5 years if you want to enroll him in formal music lessons. Piano is a lot easier for very young kids to learn than violin from what I see at our music school. And until then, keep the music exposure constant.
    Good luck.

    mlam #182239 02/15/14 08:42 AM
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    Oh-- one tip that we've learned over the years about music, too:

    listen to EVERYTHING. World music, folk idioms, classical, pop, country, big band-- everything.

    This is the exposure that means that my DD finds even rhythmically "difficult" or "strange" piano masterworks quite trivial to learn.

    I also agree with ashley about age. We found a piano teacher who would take DD before she turned six, but that was unusual-- the key was that she already had quite advanced math and reading skills (she could learn to read music quite well).

    Until then, we had a musical instrument petting zoo at our home. My DD loved the recorder when she was two.


    Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.
    mlam #182252 02/15/14 02:20 PM
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    You have some great advice here!

    In hindsight I agree that play based learning is probably your best bet right now. it means that your child is having fun and figuring out things for themselves - in an academic environment they learn too quickly that this is moving too slowly.

    On music - Aiden started piano at 3.5 years - I managed to find a traditional teacher who met him and then agreed to teach him. She was great at going with the flow and showed him the guitar, recorder, some drums and more over the 6 months he was with her. Then he started nagging for the violin - we stopped piano, took a 6 month break from lessons and then started Suzuki violin. now fast forward 3 years and all three of my kids (7, 5, 3) do suzuki violin and the older two do suzuki piano too. I love our teacher as she is gentle and kind and ALL about the original Suzuki concept of making beautiful people first and beautiful music as a result of that.

    They are allowed to learn non-suzuki pieces, they are allowed to jump around to a certain degree (eg Aiden only wants to learn the piano pieces that match the book 1 violin pieces - he was already picking them out on his own so she is teaching them to him now. ) She also offered reading music as soon as she could see that he would enjoy it - but it's only there when he wants to do it.

    We have always had an instrument box at home - with a host of percussion instruments, recorders, home made shakers etc.


    Mom to 3 gorgeous boys: Aiden (8), Nathan (7) and Dylan (4)
    mlam #182261 02/15/14 06:44 PM
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    Ditto the instrument box and petting zoo. The recorder, shaker eggs, guitar, and little piano saw the most love here. We still haven't bought drums but I have no doubt he'd love them too...

    mlam #182264 02/15/14 07:06 PM
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    Montessori was a wonderful fit for our DS (PG) at every age but 3, when he had a teacher who was extremely rigid (think Tiger Mom vs. a true Montessori approach). So I can't speak for that age, exactly, but all other years there went well (from right after age 2-to-nearly 6, he spent the full three year cycle in primary). The school he was at had very well-trained teachers and they were always willing to borrow more materials from other, including older, classrooms. He became friends with some other, slightly (1 year?) old boys who were also quite smart. DH and I suspect at least MG for three of them. Unusual cohort indeed. DS thrived because he could so easily balance the play he needed there with access to math and reading materials. It was a great fit. Honestly, I don't know if a play-based school would have worked for him. We did try another school (loosely Montessori, far more play focused in reality) during a summer break time and it was a disaster. Not enough structure to keep him interested/occupied and his energy was a big problem as a result.

    As others have said, there is a big difference in Montessori programs, so I would certainly visit and learn about it. See if they would be open in her case to admitting her a few months below their normal cutoff.

    Last edited by ConnectingDots; 02/15/14 09:19 PM.
    mlam #182268 02/15/14 08:34 PM
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    We got DS6 into pre-K early. He is a late Oct. birthday and the cut off is Sept. 1st. Best thing we ever did. He is in 1st grade at a private school, started there in K. It was so much easier to get them to make an exception to take them early since he had already done Pre-K at a different school and proven he fits just fine with older kids.

    We did have to push a bit to have the Pre-K school agree to taking him. They did some tests etc. but still, way easier than showing up for K asking thme to take him early without him doing Pre-K first.

    Did the same exact thing with DS4.(Late Nov. birthday) This time, much easier due to the history they have with DS6. They know we are not kidding when we say the kids need to be accelerated....:-)

    Last edited by 1111; 02/15/14 08:35 PM.
    mlam #182274 02/16/14 05:26 AM
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    mlam: I think thats a great choice for music... Maybe find an older play-based music class he can join? Then it's still fun & games but slightly more advanced. They have "little twinklers" music classes (a pre-suzuki fun music class). They didn't have those where we used to live, but that would have been a better choice for us if it had. You can google "little twinklers, suzuki" and the city where you live.

    mlam #182295 02/16/14 12:18 PM
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    Originally Posted by mlam
    There's a public montessori pre-k program that accepts kids who turn 3 by September. I'm wondering if we should get him evaluated/tested so we can make a case for getting him into the Pre-K program in spite of his age.

    Have you checked what their criteria is for entry? In my experience, most preschools/pre-k programs are most concerned about emotional readiness, social skills, soft skills (e.g. listens, follows directions)and self-help skills (e.g. potty trained)with advanced cognitive ability being the least of their concerns for entrance. As you evaluate your child's current ability levels in each of the above criteria, consider whether the demands of the program would outweigh the benefits. I personally think that many programs demand complete toileting independence at an age that is not developmentally appropriate.

    For my DS3, I realized how challenging the emotional and social demands are for some gifted children even while very young. They are so asynchronous and may be beginning to realize how different they are from other children. Meanwhile, they may end up in a social netherworld between age groups unless they have the verbally expressive skills, emotional/social skills and motor skills to fit in with an older group. Before committing to any program, spend time observing how well the teachers provide social/emotional skill building and how well they scaffold children during conflict resolution. When evaluating programs, consider which ones offer the most opportunity for development in all areas especially ones you already think may need more support.

    Carefully compare the schedules of all the schools. I've found myself enthralled with lovely program description only to see a schedule of "circle time, x planned activity, snack, circle time, x planned activity or free play, circle time". If you think your child will flourish in a very structured environment with lots of transitions, this may be for you. For my DS, the complete opposite holds true, although a very fair argument could be the nature of pre-k is to prepare your child for the structure of k. At your child's age, having predominantly the freedom to choose activities may provide the best opportunity for discovery and growth.

    Finally, there could be a more advantageous middle ground for the music interests. Some performing halls offer programs where children can freely experience all types of instruments, and I've heard of teachers who offer an investigation of sound, rhythm and ear training using both traditional and non-traditional objects from around the house for children without the necessity of committing to an individual instrument or the rigor of lessons. Perhaps this might be a first step for your child.

    Last edited by EmeraldCity; 02/16/14 01:17 PM.
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    The montessori school is the only public pre-K program. We could keep him in his current childcare/preschool program which is mostly play based with circle time, art, science and music sessions, It's synagogue-affiliated, NAEYC accredited.

    In circle time, the young 2's class he's in is learning letters, one letter a week. My son is learning to read and can do sign language for the whole alphabet. But again, if he's not complaining, I guess we should just leave it be.

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