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    #181710 02/08/14 06:10 AM
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    I have a question my DD is 4 1/2 she has been able to read for awhile but didn't read her first book until right before her 4th birthday. When she reads books if she doesn't sound a word out correctly at first and then realizes it. She will read the book over from the beginning sometimes or start at the top of the page she is on. I was just wondering if this is just her personality or normal. Also sometimes she will be reading and she will read a big word with no problem but say the word CAT is next or before she won't read it. I know she knows the word. She can be very stubborn. grin

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    When she reads books if she doesn't sound a word out correctly at first and then realizes it. She will read the book over from the beginning sometimes or start at the top of the page she is on. I was just wondering if this is just her personality or normal.
    What a cute phase! smile A couple of things come to mind:

    She may be developing fluency. Children may desire to read with continuity and inflection, modeling after those whom they may have heard reading aloud. If she takes joy in her accomplishment of re-reading smoothly, that may indicate that her motivation is coming from a positive set of thoughts regarding the challenge she has set for herself.

    She may be developing perfectionism. Children may wish to read (or do any task for themselves, which a parent may be able to do "better" or more efficiently) for their own enjoyment, to satisfy their own sense of exhilaration of meeting a personal challenge successfully, but if held to the standard of someone else's expectations or standards may begin to internalize a sense of failure leading to perfectionsim. If she seems frustrated, annoyed, exasperated, or impatient/hurried when re-reading smoothly, that may indicate that her motivation to re-read may be coming from a negative place such as external pressure or a sense of inferiority (each of which may be related to perfectionism).

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    Reading development has been sometimes she will be reading and she will read a big word with no problem but say the word CAT is next or before she won't read it. I know she knows the word. She can be very stubborn. grin
    As people "read ahead in their mind" to gain context which informs their design of the tone/inflection which they will add to words they say aloud, they may focus on difficult words. In doing so, they may not fully inform themselves of the entire string of words to say aloud, and may skip announcing some words which they read.

    While compliments (on effort, pronunciation of a difficult word, using a wonderful tone and inflection, etc) are usually well-received by a child, questions/suggestions/comments indicating errors are not always as welcome. Giving positive attention may be key to developing a kiddo's further reading skill, joy in reading, and the will to persist. You may already do this, but as many people read these forums I'll go on to say that what worked for us was asking kiddo to say when help/correction was wanted, and withholding any questions/suggestions/comment unless kiddo had indicated help/correction was welcome. Sometimes a child becomes disheartened if they read 99% correctly and receive little or no attention or compliment for that, but only receive question/suggestion/comment on the 1% error. Partnering with a child to know when they are open to receiving correction may help avoid that.

    Collaborating to know when the child is open to receiving constructive criticism may alleviate the appearance of stubbornness, as being stubborn may be a child's way of attempting to preserve their self-esteem from the encroaching/eroding perfectionist tendencies brought on by a sense of being invalidated by too much criticism which may signal they are always "wrong".

    Kiddo seeing parents as a go-to source of information for reading, pronunciation, and vocabulary may help create a strong bond and relationship.

    Last edited by indigo; 02/08/14 10:32 AM. Reason: clarity?
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    Thanks for the great info indigo and squishys.

    I notice she does read a head in her mind. I just let her read the books how she wants. I don't want to discourage her from reading. She will read 20 pages over sometimes. I love to listen to her read smile I just get worried she is too hard on herself.

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    I just get worried she is too hard on herself.
    Yes, this can be a common trait among gifted individuals. There is a fine line between being internally motivated and driven to do one's best, strive, and improve -vs- feeling nothing is good enough and possibly developing a sustained sense of frustration and becoming unmotivated. The difference may be found in resilience and balance.

    Some of the literature on perfectionism may highlight ways in which parents may plant the seeds. However seeds of perfectionism may be sown from a casual disapproving glance of a stranger, an adult's comment overheard, a teacher's attempt to encourage another child to check their own work, a commercial advertising message on TV or other media, or any random thing which may not have been directed to the child but which may strike a chord with the child... essentially anything the child internalizes.

    Regardless the source of the seeds of perfectionism, parents may be in the ideal position to be aware if perfectionism may be taking root in their child and develop strategies to influence their child to be free of thinking which is not serving them well.

    Here are some articles which may be of interest:
    http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Articles_id_10459.aspx
    http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Articles_id_10567.aspx

    Here are two books which seem to have a good approach which some may describe as showing the reader what they can be free of, because it is not serving them well. A book which seems to understand perfectionism very well and which many find supportive is "What To Do When Good Enough Isn't Good Enough". Another book you might like is "Perfectionism: What's Bad About Being Too Good". While insightful, these are written gently for kids, in a style that is fun and engaging. Great reading for parents, who may later decide if these books may be helpful tools for their child.

    Perfectionism... may lead to anxiety... may lead to self-harm. There are other threads on the forum discussing these topics.

    There are also recent discussion threads on reading ability.

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    I notice she does read a head in her mind... I love to listen to her read smile
    smile

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    Here's a post on an older discussion thread that I've come across which may also be of interest... something to be aware of... http://giftedissues.davidsongifted....ng_too_fast_skipping_maki.html#Post45195

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    Thanks!


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