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Joined: Dec 2012
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Ds6 is generally more intense and sensitive but generally a people pleaser. He had one time in preschool that he lost it but the teacher watching said hid best friend and another kid were freezing him out and he tried really hard first and was really upset afterwards. He had a couple of incidents in his first year of school which were due to him misunderstanding the other kid's game rules. Ds4 is absolutely charming and knows it - except for when he is a horror.
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Joined: Sep 2013
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Then there is DD8 - she is a total pleaser at school. She has tremendous social skills (IMHO - especially considering how far out she is on the bell curve). At school she is never in trouble, offers to help out, gets along with everyone, and tries to do her best at all times - the epitome of the perfect student. Then she comes homes and lets it all fly! At home she is defiant, lazy, and (the one that drives me batty) whines about almost everything. It is like she works so hard at holding it together at school that she hits the threshold of her safety zone at home and unloads all her day's frustrations. Yikes. I think you just described a younger me, I am feeling really guilty now, thinking of what I put my folks through.
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Joined: Nov 2012
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Yikes. I think you just described a younger me, I am feeling really guilty now, thinking of what I put my folks through. ConnectingDots - If this is true, please just reassure me that you turned out okay in the long run! LOL! I swear, every parent/teacher conference I have to ask if the teacher is really talking about the right student. Everything they have to say is wonderful, wrapped in a lovely little present with a huge bow on top. DH and I just nod and agree then leave shaking our heads. We go home to strategize and try again to see if we can figure out a way to make things better at home. Do you have any suggestions of what might have worked for you?
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Joined: Sep 2013
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I did turn out fine, if rather human (i.e., I'm not perfect!). :-) From an achievements standpoint, two degrees (one from a top five program in my field), good job with a Fortune 100 company, great husband, two fine kids, etc.
Reading helped me decompress in a nicer way. It made my mom, at least, anxious that I was reading all the time, rather than being out playing, etc. I have many introverted traits, so I suspect that I really was letting off steam at home. BTW, I did help out around the house (really enjoyed doing laundry and baking, so I got to do all of that, pretty much, starting at about age 10). Having a bit more quiet space to unwind might have helped me. We were in a fairly small house and I have younger siblings. When I was in h.s., I set up part of the basement as "my" area and that helped. I also danced competitively, which was a good outlet, although I did complain about/resist practicing... Good luck!
Last edited by ConnectingDots; 02/10/14 09:02 AM.
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Joined: Feb 2011
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Reading helped me decompress in a nicer way
I second this, as another introvert with many of these characteristics. If I am pushed to hard for too long, I get SUPER cranky.
(I've spent the last 4 days trapped by severe winter weather in a house with my very noisy and extraverted DH, who doesn't respect this need sufficiently well when it clashes with HIS needs... Oy. BOY am I glad he went off to work this morning... ahhhhhhh... silence... )
Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.
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Joined: Nov 2013
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At school she is never in trouble, offers to help out, gets along with everyone, and tries to do her best at all times - the epitome of the perfect student. Then she comes homes and lets it all fly! At home she is defiant, lazy, and (the one that drives me batty) whines about almost everything. It is like she works so hard at holding it together at school that she hits the threshold of her safety zone at home and unloads all her day's frustrations.
This is my dd10 exactly. Other than soccer, which she loves and plays competitively, she would like to do NOTHING other than read when she gets home. NOTHING includes chores, homework, piano practice and even having conversations with family. I've decided that she needs some "down time" but am frustrated that it is so hard to pull her out of her books at home!
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This is my dd10 exactly. Other than soccer, which she loves and plays competitively, she would like to do NOTHING other than read when she gets home. NOTHING includes chores, homework, piano practice and even having conversations with family. I've decided that she needs some "down time" but am frustrated that it is so hard to pull her out of her books at home! I wish DD8 would read, but trying to get her to read is just as difficult as getting her to do anything else.
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Joined: Sep 2013
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Well, give her time (I know, maddeningly difficult when she is so trying!) and see what she finds to do to relax. Maybe reading or something else (crafts? yoga?) will appear soon and give you all a bit of a break.
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Joined: Jun 2012
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Is this what parenthood is like for most people? LOL (sigh) I have no idea what parenting is like for other people... I just know I'm sick of trying to "fit my kids in" and have given up on the public school system. I've gotten to the point where I just nod and say "uh-huh." My bad, probably, but... well, what can you do.
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Joined: Jun 2012
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This is my dd10 exactly. Other than soccer, which she loves and plays competitively, she would like to do NOTHING other than read when she gets home. NOTHING includes chores, homework, piano practice and even having conversations with family. I've decided that she needs some "down time" but am frustrated that it is so hard to pull her out of her books at home! I wish DD8 would read, but trying to get her to read is just as difficult as getting her to do anything else. FWIW my DD11 didn't catch the reading bug until age 9. Now she reads so much it interferes with the rest of her life (but I'm not complaining).
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