Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Things are about to get challenging...

Some have said this lock-step, one-size-fits-all approach is their primary concern with Common Core. A rigid, inflexible approach to placement and pacing lacks respect and sensitivity for intellectual diversity.

Yes.

This is the same kind of logic that our (virtual) school applies to these things.

We determined long ago that the best way to UN-do a gradeskip, in fact, was to homeschool for a year.


Of course, that would mean that the FIT would be worse after that year than it had been before it, because on an annual basis, my DD is learning far more homeschooling than she's EVER learned from them, but whatever...

they also only accept COLLEGE credits on an "individual" basis, and unlike "honors" or "AP" offerings at school-- no grade weighting for college classes (ever). When I complained that this seemed ludicrous to me, they "explained" that they haven't vetted those college classes for quality. No to AP credit for even top notch exam scores, too. NO, also, to CLEP credits.



And you'd better believe that my DH and I are WAY more qualified to be teaching STEM to our DD than any of the teachers she's had. The reason that she hasn't taken high school chemistry is that after witnessing the sheer incompetence of the instructor for biology (nominally the area of "expertise" vis a vis the teacher's college education) no way was I letting DD sign up for chemistry with that individual. I don't use the term incompetent lightly, but I use it quite freely there, and if pressed, I'd do so with administration, too. In fact, I have. My answer was to substitute a college class-- to which the school said "er... maybe... but it won't be weighted, and MAYBE we will have to call it independent study, not Chemistry." Outrageous.

I like to think I'm more qualified to teach math to my kids than the person who tells my two younger ones that "The sum of m and 9" is m+9 and NOT 9+m. Or that writing 1/4 = 0.25 is wrong because 0.25 = 0.25. But instead, I've been chastised for teaching them and undermining this great teacher's amazing pedagogy.

I also like to think that testing a kid is an obvious response to a parental claim, but I've been on this board long enough to know that resistance to it is ubiquitous. Many people on this forum have complained that early elementary teachers won't even test their kids to see if they really can read at the level mom and dad are claiming. I mean, how hard is it to hand a Magic Tree House book or whatever to a kindergartner and say, Okay, start reading?


Personally, I think that many of them are simply mediocre types who really don't have a clue and are acting as mediocre types tend to act.

I think you asked for others' experience up above - fwiw, when our ds was in 3rd grade we were in somewhat the same place (although we had a 2e issue thrown in the mix). Our ds was very unhappy at his school and the school was not offering help for his challenge and offering no differentiation at all. Our neuropsych recommended we switch to a local private school and my dh and I scoffed at that - no way did we want to spend the $, and ds didn't particularly want to switch. Fast forward 3 years, the situation at school was at that point beyond hopeless, ds was old enough that *he'd* checked out and was telling us he was not going back to the school he was in etc and that he had been bored beyond tears at school for years. This happened to coincide with an updated neuropsych eval before middle school, so once again we asked about school options, and once again the private school was recommended. This time we took a tour and ds was sold, so we readjusted our financial plans and out of desperation gave it a try. It was *the* single best educational decision we've ever made - ds was happy, ds was challenged, ds had intellectual peers in class... and most importantly, teachers listened to parents and didn't spend effort in being defensive or feeling challenged and fighting back. I can't tell you how many times I looked back and wished we'd switched back in 3rd grade when it was first suggested.

Will you have the same experience if you switch? I have no idea! But I think it's worth looking into, and as mentioned above, financial aid might be an option to make it more affordable. Our school has occasionally also offered incentives to bring in new students - this might be true of a new school also.

The reason I mention this isn't to say that a private school is a better solution, but to point out that the advice from your psych is most likely worth considering. Remember that he/she sees quite a few students (I'm guessing!) and that he/she most likely has a good overall knowledge of various pros and cons of the different schools in your area, as well as some knowledge of your child - so her advice is most likely worth listening to.



My ds was like this in elementary school also. Getting him out of the school he was in and into a more appropriately challenging school environment where he also felt at home and felt like his teachers cared about him totally turned his social situation around - he made friends quickly in his new school and no longer was a social "outsider".


I'm not sure I understand what's involved in appealing that is such a worry? What amount of effort did the neuropsych feel would be involved in an appeal? What cost? Why would you have to spend $ to appeal? I'm not asking to question, just curious.

polarbear

I'm so glad I've finally posted. It is sooo nice to bounce ideas off others who have or have had similar issues.

ultramarina- To be honest, I'm not sure of his issue at school making friends. I do know he feels different. However, outside of school, he is able to play with neighborhood kids. He is also active on swim team, cub scouts and does gymnastics. So, overall, socially, he interacts well with other kids- just not at school. Also, last year (or now when he realizes the situation isn't working with a kid) he starting acting super silly to try to get attention.

Indigo- we have not formally put in writing the pros and cons, but we have talked a lot. That may lead to more discussion. Also, I don't mind or take offense if someone offers advice I've done or have thought of- really it just gives me confidence that I'm doing the right thing.

Polarbear- Ds does have some vision and fine motor issues which the school is refusing to acknowledge too.

Thanks for sharing your experience. We probably should look at the school and see for ourselves and really ds if its as perfect as we imagine.

The tester said to appeal to the district, we should hire an advocate ($) to handle the process. Yet, she also shared with us that another family went this route, spent lots of money, won, but really burned a lot of bridges. They ended up pulling their dc after all that out of the system. She basically told us our district does not like to be challenged.

our district does not like to be challenged.


Red flag time.

If this is the case, then even if you win, you still lose. That's the way it works. {sigh}

Hk- that's what I'm worried about.

This.

It's open house season at private schools right now, so they may have one coming up this weekend or very soon. Check their website.

I advise preparing a list of questions before you go. For example, what's their policy regarding kids who are ahead of their classmates? If they have one, how do they figure out that kids are ahead, and how do they place them? If they tell you that their curriculum is advanced/a year ahead of public schools/etc., be careful. This could be their way of saying, "It's good enough." You're looking for signs of flexibility or lack thereof.

If you apply to the school and/or ask for acceleration, they may test your son. I strongly advise finding out what kind of material the test will cover beforehand (e.g. find out which math book they use, get a used copy on Amazon or borrow one, and make sure that your son has a good idea of what's in it). Different schools use different books, and most of them look down on the books used by other schools. This is particularly true of private schools.

I'm writing this because you don't want your son to do "poorly" on their test because they have a quirky way of doing a group of things that he could learn in an hour or less.

All that said, this will be less of an issue for a six-year-old. But it's still worth checking out.

Go visit the school.

My ds was subject accelerated in math and LA 2 years. So when 4th grade came around he had to stay in one class for the whole day. I bet this weighed on him a bit. They were suppose to supplement for math but it never happened. We did AoPS pre-algebra at home and had a tutor once or twice a week. Time went by, emotional discussions with the school were tabled at times.

We went to a math contest in the spring at a local private middle school and took along a bright girl that was in my sons 4th grade class. My ds placed 3rd in one of the events. The girl said "they sure do math differently here". We knew this was the place. HE knew this was the place. He was sad to leave his friends but said he knew it was where he should be. He also took the EXPLORE at this school so he knew what the deal was.

We toured the school and thought about it some more. We had some more useless meetings with the public school again which just confirmed everything. When the schools academic director calls our son and anomaly my wife lost it. She took it personally.

Fast forward and we are at the end of his 2nd trimester at the new school. There were a few bumps but it seems to be working just fine. He gets to hang out with some other math geeks. They seem to adjust to each kid. They are on the ball with 2e issues and perfectionism.

Sorry to ramble, I have been reading along and when polarbear posted I had to post our experience too. We sure didn't want to spend the money but didn't see any other options.

The public school wanted to skip 5th grade and send him to middle school.
We opted to not skip.

At that level schools can be very pedantic about drawing circles etc.