Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy WHAT are they thinking when they say.......!!????

Hi Willa. I'm back from looking at the curriculum. DH and I agree that Saxon math just isn't going to work in the long run for DS. Too slow moving, too repetitive. And DS has already mastered most of 2nd grade. Now that we've seen the curriculum we are more prepared to advocate for just moving him into second grade math tomorrow (read: asap) and do some home tutoring to "fill in the gaps" for the knowledge he doesn't have. We think he would do just fine. And be more challenged, at least for a little while. Eventually the whole darn thing is going to get boring again, as he learns math independently at home and everywhere else - craves it almost, like air! And looking at the 3rd grade program we realized that he is already learning some of THAT material. So, when it rolls around he'll be bored again.

As for the assessments, what they are doing is pulling the end of the year written assessments from the Saxon program. So they are doing a "curriculum based assessment" using the actual curriculum to see just what he knows in THAT curriculum. That was what the teaching consultant at the Saxon publishing co. had suggested. In her book, Susan Assouline recommends doing that to determine just where a child should be placed in a curriculum. It also helps to identify any gaps in knowledge that need to be addressed.

Our mission now is to listen patiently to what the school has to say, advocate for what we think is best by educating them on just what he needs and then figuring out what to do in the long run, since Saxon just doesn't look very promising, even in third grade. I'm thinking they are going to balk at putting him in second grade, but maybe they'll surprise us.

I started to pave the way by giving the principal copies of two chapters from Assouline's book (myths about mathematically talented kids and the programming chapter) and contact info for the Educators Guild at DI. Who knows, maybe he'll even look at that info before next wed.!

I was using Saxon 65 with Mite this fall and ran into the same walls...too slow especially.

I hope the principal does read it prior to your meeting. It helps so much when they actually come prepared. sigh. So many times they do not.

I don't know why math companies call the end of chapter and book exams "assessments". They aren't assessments. But oh well...Here's to your little guy doing well!!!! Go for it little man!

Go for it Momma and Dad!

Debbie, it might not hurt to put a bug in the principal's ear...call or email him early next week and ask if he's had a chance to read the materials you gave him. Tell him you're hoping a lot can be accomplished at the meeting, and it would help tremendously if he's read the material ahead of time so he knows where you're coming from.

GG: that's a great idea! I was going to go to the meeting prepared with each option for change typed out, with a list of the pros/cons of each one. I thought that would help move the discussion along as they have said they don't know how to differentiate for him. If I give that to them ahead of time do you think that will put them on the defensive? I want to help and have us all be prepared so a decision can be made. But I don't want to come across as too aggressive or overstepping boundaries into the educators role. But they've already said they don't know what to do. I do know how important it is to keep them on my son's side, not establish an adversarial relationship. What do you guys think?

Debbie,

The list is a great idea. The more prepared you are in advance, the better. It also alleviates the pressure of having to remember, in the moment (with teachers/administrators staring at you), everything you wanted to say.

I also think giving them the list ahead of time is a good idea. If you're worried about how they might perceive it, you could include a short cover letter to "set the tone"... perhaps something like:

"Dear X,
I thought it would be helpful to prepare for our upcoming meeting on Wednesday by researching some possible ways to differentiate instruction for [son's name].

The attached list presents X different options, with pros and cons of each, for us to mutually explore. I hope that you will find some time to review this information before our meeting, so we can make the best use of everyone's time and agree on a course of action as soon as possible.

I have put much thought and effort into compiling these options, but please know that I am open to exploring any additional suggestions you may have. I greatly value your professional training and experience as educators, and look forward to hearing your thoughts and ideas.

I am confident that we can work together to create the most appropriate educational experience for [son's name]."

I guess I differ on this one. I've found I gain more with the IEP team if I present things in person to all of them at once. Anytime I've given them stuff before the meeting, they seem to have spent some time together thinking of reasons NOT to do what we are asking.

By giving it to them at the table, I'm able to field their questions and assuage their fears immediately. I also think they are scared of stuff in writing. Stuff in writing makes it more "legal" and less "personal".

Of course, that said, always follow-up the meeting in writing to confirm everything you agreed on.

YMMV, an acceleration meeting may have less intensity coming into it than an IEP meeting.

HMMMM.....well, that's interesting to get two very different opinions! And they pretty much reflect the two sides that I have thought about and why I'm not sure what to do!

GG: I really appreciate the wording you offered. My first attempt sounded too strong, so I reworked the material and "softened" the approach. Your suggested wording is great so I'll take advantage and plagarize! Thanks!

Willa: Points well taken. I agree about not giving them too much time to counter the suggestions I have. But since we've already had a successful advocacy relationship and they've already been exposed to where I'm coming from, I think I'm going to take a chance and give them my list beforehand. I'm more worried that we will go away from the meeting without having made any decision at all. And DS is counting on us (parents) to make changes to his math at this meeting. I do agree that heading into an IEP can be different.

Thanks to both of you.

Hi Debbie,

I did think of the same concern Fite mentioned, and it is a very important concern to consider. If I were in your shoes and I didn't have a good sense of how "adversarial" vs. "open-minded" the school people might be, then I probably wouldn't give them the list in advance. But it sounded from previous conversations that you had a good sense of how they might respond.

I'm happy if any wording I suggested was helpful to you. Plagarize away! :-)

I'll be watching later this week for the update after the meeting. Best of luck!

GG

Go with your gut Debbie!!! You know your particular situation and there are many nuances to conversations that cannot be expressed in these brief posts. If you feel they will be more responsive with the list given ahead of time, the go for it.

Good luck. I'm looking forward to hearing positive results from you!!

Well, I was still not 100% sure what to do, but went ahead and sent a letter with my ideas outlined. Plagarized some of GG's writing and referred to working together and looking forward to their ideas. Hopefully it will be well received!

Sidenote, we attended our state gifted kids association conference yesterday. It was more didactic and lecture than we expected (but not more than I'm used to in continuing education!) but we learned a lot about the overall development and potential issues for gifted kids. And it helped a lot to talk with other parents in person. I highly recommend to everyone - join and participate in your state association.