Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy How do you deal w/schools w/o appearing arrogant

AHHHH. I'm meeting with my son's first grade teacher (fantastic, great teacher) and the principal (will check for pulse to see if I can truthfully say she's braindead) tomorrow afternoon regarding our decision to homeschool. I spoke very briefly with our son's teacher tonight and she seems to think that the only reason we're taking him out is because nobody has officially labeled him gifted and given him workbook pages that say Grade 2 on the top of them. As great a teacher she is, she completely missed the mark on this. She insists that she could give him worksheets that say Grade 2 if that's what I want. I tried to convince her that the main reason we've decided to home school is that we know we could challenge our son closer to his full potential than the school - with it's class inclusion, MCAS testing, and No Child Left Behind Policies. She is only reading it as I want the world to know how smart my kid is. How do you get around that?

If you were concerned about your son �looking smart�, then you would leave him in an environment were the easy A�s would be a certainty!

One issues that I have encountered are the professionals who think they understand your angle, but don�t. It�s difficult to enlighten them. It could help to discuss the different levels of giftedness and how what is accommodating for level 1, doesn�t address the needs of level 3 or higher. Good luck with your meeting.

This is a tricky question--how to ask a teacher to accelerate work without appearing arrogant, or that you're a pushy parent, or "uber-mom". I have found that most teachers don't understand that I don't want MORE work, just more challenging work. I think teachers will either understand or won't. If they don't, there are a few choices: skip a grade, work at home at the higher level and have your child "endure" grade level work, or work with teacher and administration to see if they could do independent work (like ALEKS program, accelerated math, etc.). I have found that even the most understanding of teachers might have a problem with providing differentiated curriculum. My advice is to do as much groundwork as you can (e.g., for my 5 yr old, I ordered a workbook that I have asked be used in lieu of what they're doing in class).

Cym, do you have a workbook you like? I'm planning a conference with teacher/counselor for my 6YO son (still! They keep not getting back with me with a time...I thought it would be this week, but that looks less likely now.). I don't think they have computer access in the classroom, so that eliminates a lot of options. Just last night I started looking for workbooks, but quickly realized there were many options and I was too tired to sort through them, so left it for today.

I also have a lot of anxiety about this upcoming conference - how to not sound arrogant, and how to not sound critical! Sigh.

Thanks!

delbows - I'd love to discuss the different levels of giftedness but I have no clue what my son is!!! They've avoided testing my son like the plague. "Does he have a disability" answer "no" more honest answer, "yes, boredom because the 90% of the schoolday is too easy." They only test if their is a chance the kid needs help in something, NEVER extra testing if they are normal or above normal. ARRRRGGGGG!!! Does anyone know if testing is mandatory if a parent requests it regardless of the reason?

"Does anyone know if testing is mandatory if a parent requests it regardless of the reason?"

I believe it varies by state. If there is a mandate for gifted ed, then they should have to test. Our state doesn't have this mandate.

I would opt for private testing rather than district testing anyways.

"How do people work with districts like this? Incidentally, my husband recently became chairman of the district school board. Is there anything he can do (keep it legal and ethical please)?" -ld parents

Your husband could propose that the district adapt some way to evaluate kids who need more challenge or accelleration. Even if you go with the home school option, if this were in place, it could help others in the future! Your son might return to the district when he is older also!

Good advice. I'll ask him tonight. Thanks a lot for all the comments.

Dear Susan S,

I think Trinity suggested "Comprehensive Curriculum for __ Grade" workbooks in other posts on the bulletin board. It is the one I provided to my son's teacher, working in 2nd grade level (he skipped kindergarten and is ready for 2nd grade work at least). They go up to 6th grade so you can decide what grade is appropriate. The same company, American Education Publishing, also makes specific subject workbooks (Math, e.g.) in case you are looking for subject acceleration. I like it because there's NOT tons of repetition, which can turn off little kids. I buy lots of different workbooks from Walmart, Target, teacher's stores, etc. because my son likes to do these for fun. The McGraw Hill ones were terrific as well. My son likes routine, so he wants to do a few pages each day. At least he gets exposure to new concepts and develops skills. I try to make it fun and don't want it to be drudgery. The teacher has started to use the workbook with him and he plows through it while she works with other kids on more basic stuff. Once he gets into 3rd grade level, he can work on ALEKS computer math at school.

Cym

Going back to the original question about not appearing "arrogant".

You do not appear arrogant, but one of the intimidation methods educators use to control the situation is to tell parents they are being "arrogant...pushy....inconsiderate that said educator has Xnumber of kids in the class to teach...etc."

Really, you have to let those things roll off your back. You have the right to push. You have the right to expect and appropriate education for your child. Your child has a right to an appropriate education.

So let 'em say you are being arrogant!!!