Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion second opinion required

My son is 6.5 and nearing the end of year 2/grade 1. He his seemingly not been unhappy this year although he admits he would like harder maths. His report says is mature and a joy to teach.
BUT: he is using a lot of baby talk (he says it because if one kid in his class but the kid is not someone he plays with), he is sucking his thumb/fingers/clothing for the first time in his life except when very young or teething(he hasn't lost any teeth yet so maybe it is a teething thing). He is having more tantrums/meltdowns than he used to, and he has taken to walking round the lounge in circles when tired and he is getting sick more often (fever type sick).

Any one of these things could be explained but all together I am starting to wonder if what i am seeing is stress/unhappiness related. I know my family and the school will tell me i am looking for problems and imagining things but i really starting to doubt that explanation. And if one more person starts telling me how schools are different now i am going to scream. Everyone assumes i didn't like school because it wasn't fun and the teachers were scary and while that is TRUE it was the lack of challenge and the other kids that was the real problem. I do not see any evidence of more academic content and at least when i was at school i could ignore the kids during class - now they have grouped desks and teamwork.

So would you be concerned? And if you were going to ask for a particular teacher next year would you ask for the GT co-ordinator who handed you extra basic facts worksheets when you asked about extension or a teacher who is inexperienced and has no GT training but is willing to listen to parents and work with them?

Yes, I would be concerned. The teething may explain everything... or possibly the things in the mouth which in turn may explain illnesses. My concern for the tantrums/meltdowns and walking in circles is that there may be something overwhelming him (beyond the teething). Have you had conversations like, "I've noticed you've got your fingers in your mouth, can you tell me about that?" Some have had success with looking at websites and medical books about teeth and teething, as a conversation opener. Looking together at the awesome ways the body is changing and new teeth are growing in may help a kid explain where it hurts, feels pressure, is like a headache, or seems raw like a skinned knee. Seeing the normal progression of growing teeth, assuring a kid that it is only temporary and even marking days on the calendar for growing teeth may also help. If I recall, the pressure/swelling may lead to ear infections. Walking in circles may be a way to avoid reclining to sleep and experiencing ear pressure.

Allergies also come to mind. The sense of needing constant motion (walking in circles) and over-reacting (tantrums/meltdowns) may be signs of system-wide internal pressure from allergic reaction.

DS could be having uncomfortable physical symptoms or he could be responding to something of an uncomfortable cognitive/academic/social/emotional nature. But any change in a child's behavior is worth checking into.

GT Coordinator...
1) may have more influence on the teacher than the teacher may have on the GT coordinator...
2) some GT coordinators have little training or expertise for their role... is the GT coordinator relatively new?
3) the GT coordinator may have had the best intentions to help but may not have had a plethora of resources to choose from
4) did you thank GT coordinator for support, share how quickly DS completed the worksheets, suggest what he might like as a next extension, assure that you would also look for resources to share with her?
Teacher...
1) may be influenced by GT coordinator and others while establishing niche at school
2) have little training or expertise in GT and may appreciate resources

Before deciding, I would probably find a few interesting articles and resources to share with each of them over time... possibly delivering each one with a simple note card asking their thoughts. I would probably choose the one most positive in their responses, whether a note, e-mail, casual comment in passing, or something they said to or provided for DS... anything which hints of the energy needed to stay in front of a gifted child's characteristically rapid pace of learning and desiring to move on to new things to think about.

Just my 2 cents.

Thanks I only get to request so I will put then both on the list but trying to decide who to put at the top. I didn't go back to the GT co-ordinator because I actually only went to ask her if there was any extension activities available below year 3 and their wasn't. I didn't want her to talk to ds' teacher in case it made things harder. She as been at the school several years but I am not sure before that. Nor am I sure whether she gets paid for the role Heir release from the classroom to do it. She may be trying to fit around a full day teaching everything else (teachers here at primary level literally teach everything).

He is gluten free for bowel issues but he may have hayfever to some degree of and on too. I will also make an appointment with the school dental clinic as he must be due for a check-up (they are supposed to contact us but since they almalgamated and relocated nearly two years ago they have had a systems breakdown.

For what it is worth, we noticed some similar behaviors with DS at about the same age (the baby talk, fingers in mouth -- definitely seems to be related to his teeth, he's not lost one yet but they are uncomfortable, melt-downs, etc.). In my research, I found a lot to suggest that much of this is age appropriate, if disconcerting.

That said, hay fever did make things worse. His pediatrician put him on OTC meds several months ago, which seems to be helping energy levels.

FWIW the baby talk thing does seem to be some sort of phase they all go through at this age - all of DD's friends do it and I thought it was some weird craze at her school but I have noticed other kids that age not at her school doing it too. Drives me nuts.
Hopefully you've just got a perfect storm of minor and unrelated issues, but good to keep an eye on it.
Personally I'd ask for the open-minded teacher over the so-far-unhelpful GT coord as teacher. My theory being that the GT coord should be on hand to help you anyway?? Not that it always works out that way

That is helpful I have noticed that he is not alone in the meltdowns but it is nice to know the other things are not unknown either. He insists the baby talk came from a kid in his class and it did coincide with the start of the school year (I wondered if it was the teacher for a short while). He says he likes how fingers being wet and it feels good so maybe he is just a bit tired 3/4 of the way through the year. I will get hold of the dental clinic tomorrow though.

Thanks all.

I am not dismissing your concerns regarding stress, etc, but I have two 6.5 year olds, now almost 6 3/4, and we have seen this type of behavior (with the exception of walking in circles) for several months now. The hands-in-mouth thing was only resolved recently when my son asked me why he kept getting sick and his brother didn't; and I explained that it was because he had his hands in his mouth so often. (Not that I hadn't been saying that multiple times a day all summer; but it finally got through.)

The temper tantrums/meltdowns got worse for us when school started, and we are working through it. I do think they are exacerbated by the stress of being unhappy/bored in school all day, but I also see a lot of other children the same age acting the same way. I started them on Omega 3 fish oils, and it does seem to be helping somewhat.

Baby talk was an issue all summer long. It went on for months. It was so bad that they started mispronouncing words and sounds even when they weren't doing it on purpose. I think they finally stopped because I explained to them that if they ended up in speech therapy because they INTENTIONALLY mispronounced words and sounds using baby talk so much that it changed their entire manner of speech I was going to be EXTREMELY disappointed. They realized it really was getting out of control and stopped. (And before anyone flames me - yes, they do understand that if they needed speech therapy for any reason other than intentionally mispronouncing words and sounds so often it becomes a habit, it would be fine, and we would not be disappointed in them. They don't see speech therapy as negative at all, as their cousin gets it. They understood my point.)

One of my sons did develop issues from school related stress last year; so I definitely agree it is possible. However, I wanted to let you know that at least some of things you are experiencing with your 6.5 year old may just be because he is 6.5.

Can you meet with the GT coordinator to see if she has any other ideas before you decide which teacher to request?

Hi,

DS6 has been showing a lot of interesting new behaviors also.

One idea I had was to closely pay attention to the day of the week and see if there was a correlation... and after only a few weeks it's obvious to us that it starts somewhere between Tuesday and Thursday, intensifies by Friday, and is gone again by Monday am. To make it feel more impartial to me I'm trying to only pay attention to behaviors that are very clear (ie noting chewing fingernails, but not tone of voice).

Which is not to say there couldn't be some predisposition or undercurrent of sensory issue or phase of childhood or something. But I become able to say that we'd be unlikely to be seeing it at all without the experience of school.

Now that school's been going on as long as it has there's a couple behaviors that just don't go away over the weekend. But I think likely would with a week off so soon we may take one and find out.

The walking in circles has eased off - it was bad at the end of the term and the first week of the holidays. He had the first 3 days of this term off sick and only went back today so it could have been an end of winter/end of term thing. I do think a lot of it is being 6.5 so thanks for the stories.