Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy GT and confidence without testing

I'm not sure if this belongs here or not. I hope so

This may be a silly question but one I wonder about often. For those who have not gotten their children tested but consider them GT, how do you know? What gives you the confidence to say "My DD or DS is GT." DD7 and DS1 identify with soooo many of the characteristics and academically she has high scores in areas that GT children normally do, especially in reading. With reading so many research articles, posts and things on GT, DH, DD7 and myself identify with much of HG traits I still have a hard time being confident about it. Is this a social thing because most people feel uncomfortable with knowing or discussing GT? I don't talk to many about it and those that I do, do not judge or feel uncomfortable. I guess what I'm wondering is do others feel the same and lack confidence despite it making sense that their child or themselves are GT without the scientific evidence to back their feelings up?

I think there are people around here that haven't have their kids tested; but know they are gt.

I think as a parent, honestly, you know. I knew. We tested mere to help advocate for our ds. I think most people wait to test until there is a need, a benefit to the child. Otherwise, you just follow your dc's lead and enjoy:)

Some kids are clearly beyond the rest to the point that you can't miss it. When you have one, life has usually given you plenty of moments when you realize that no the other two year olds aren't discussing DNA at playdates. Many children discussed here fit that bill before they are old enough to test. Also IQ is highly heritable so if you know you and your spouse were, it's likely junior is too. However, very honestly, I expected my son's IQ to be lower than it was. I had him pegged more as EG than PG. I wouldn't have guessed that. I like testing and data. It's much more effective than guessing and has been very helpful to us in understanding some of our son's struggles as well as gifts. We would know so much less without the testing we've done.

I assume my dad is GT...he graduated from the Naval Academy in engineering and he is one of the smartest people I know.

I have two brother's that tested gifted (one of them I saw his results by accident and he is PG) and he was one of those kids that just knew stuff without being taught and could sleep through class and get 100s on everything.

My dh's sister's son tested gifted and I would assume he is PG just from knowing him. He skipped a grade and could have skipped another (he earned several credits for 9th grade in middle school and only needed to take one online summer school class to skip to 10th grade) but he has a brother in 10th grade and his mom doesn't want them both going to college the same year.

One of my sons has Asperger's and tests gifted (right at the cut off). I often wonder if that is accurate because they didn't use a WISC but used the RIAS and I wonder if his anxiety/Asperger's suppressed the score a bit but it could be right on.

My younger son tested PG on the K-ABC-II and then just under PG on the WISC when I private tested (why our school system doesn't give a WISC I'll never know). I KNEW he was a smart cookie. I didn't know he was that out there. It was kind of a shocker.

As for myself, I had one older brother and one younger brother who were REALLY out there. I always, always felt less than gifted (and was never tested). Chances are I am not PG but I assume I am at least gifted.

DD7 is not the child that it is just very evident such as discussing DNA at 2. It's just not 100% clear. I would be shocked if she was not at minimum MG and would question why she is so different than her peers. I mentioned in another post that I have known something is different about her for a few years. A lot of the posts I read are very similar to her. I'm not around many children to know she is very beyond her peers. The children I am around that are her age, she is clearly very different. From an outside perspective they don't get her, she is more intense in everything she does, i.e excitement, hugging, riding her bike, etc. her peers often times either don't want to play with her or are yelling at her because she is doing her own thing and not what they want or she is so deeply interested in a bug or the like that she doesn't hear them. None of the other kids act this way. We call her a runner because after learning to walk she started to run and never stopped. She runs more than walks and often times as a toddler would run and explore. I'm sure many can relate on here but none of my friends children do/did these things. I often times wished I had calmer children that were satisfied with playing on the floor quietly.

As far as I know DH and I were never tested. I have talked to my mom many times about DD and myself and she has never mentioned that she knows my IQ. DH has always been incredibly smart to me and I recently found out he had a perfect score on a test he took after high school. Academics have always come easy to DH and I and we have never had to study much to get good grades. Unfortunately, because academics came so easily we never developed study skills. It would've been helpful for college as we are both procrastinators because we know it doesn't require much effort on our part to get an A.

Yup.

My DD is almost certainly PG.

We've never tested her, so we don't know.

But her intellectual development places her most solidly into "quite able college student" range most comfortably, and she is 14.


We were grossly mistaken about her when she was tiny. We thought MG at that point. Then she learned to read-- and the trajectory was simply superhuman. Nobody who ISN'T EG can master a complex domain like that with THAT little practice in that short a period of time. When I say "learned to" read, what I mean is, from phonetically controlled Bob books to adult level material in a matter of months, and at an age where many children lack the capacity to learn even with a lot of targeted instruction.

Kids who are autodidacts are really easy to spot.

The ones who aren't, and who are socially adroit, tend to be tougher, in my experience with my DD, because those kids only "show" facets of themselves that match others' criteria/expectations at any one time. Who expects a conversation about existential philosophy with a 7yo?? Nobody-- and my kid was one that would immediately adjust to that flicker of cognitive dissonance in a listener...
Ahhh-- no meaning-of-life stuff, then... right-- Legos and Care Bears it is.

These are the kids that run through elementary school without anyone REALIZING that they aren't learning the material as they go (because they already know it)-- just 'demonstrating' it.

We just had the testing done a few months ago for DS7. We had a pretty good idea that he might be gifted based on how early he knew letters and numbers (counted to ten at 14 months, was able to spell simple words with moveable letters at 2 years, etc.). He was also super-advanced with puzzles, blocks and games.

We had a few teachers and the head of his prior school, which was a Montessori school, comment on how off-the-charts bright he was and how he kept them on their toes. We also had the mother of a PG son tell us she thought our DS was very gifted and that we should consider testing, but last year's issues with a new school had us second-guessing ourselves.

Testing has helped us understand his abilities and achievement so far, which truly has made a difference in advocating for him at a new school. Granted, they were much more ready to do differentiation from the start, but knowing how far ahead he truly is made us more comfortable in asking for more.

Prior to testing, I read the Five Levels of Gifted, (which I know many don't agree with, for various reasons). It was very accurate for our DS, and the first indication that he might be HG or PG. He tested as PG. Before reading the book, I had no idea there were differences in levels other than just being gifted vs. NT (whatever that truly is...).

To be totally honest it wasn't until I saw test results that I finally admitted it. DH and I both relocated for work after university and 99% of our friends were found through work (everyone has some sort of BSc+) so we're almost always surrounded by crazy smart people. Coincidentally enough most of them have pretty smart kids so we live in a bit of a bubble. Admittedly, DS7 stands out even among them but we still never really thought that much of it until school was a complete disaster so we got testing to prove them wrong and it was a bit eye opener even for us. In retrospect there were a lot of indicators but really it didn't matter until we entered the school system.

DD5, I still don't know. She is completely different than DS so I guess we'll have to wait and see. We'll likely get her tested eventually but are hopefully holding off for a bit.

I am in the same boat with DS5. We have not tested yet, but my gut tells me he's gifted. I find that some people are offended by my assumption and so I'm careful about how I talk about it in certain settings. On this forum, though, I feel I can speak openly about my concerns, beliefs, expectations, etc. In the interim to needing testing, I'm educating myself...through this forum, books, etc. Am I 100% confident all the time? No, I have my doubts, but I've learned that until the time comes for testing, I just have to trust my gut.

Did you know your kids were more advanced than their peers in those areas that were less obvious? Does everything stand out clearly?

Things that stand out when on this site but things I considered normal (naive I guess) is DD& knew her numbers, ABC's, a few songs and things of the like by 2. I know she could count in spanish and english around that age too. I never really kept track of milestones like that because at the time it didn't seem out of the ordinary. I know she was usually ahead on the baby milestones but thought they were low ends anyway. In hindsight I knew others whose kids were older by 2+ yrs than DD at the time and didn't know those things. Another thing that struck me is how quick DD learned to read. She read a book to me at 5 prior to K and we thought it was a fluke since my mom read her the same book the night before. After starting K last August she was reading well by Sept. I figured this was pretty common as I really don't have a comparison.

I've always felt DD was different. Not in the intellectual way though. When we got together with friends and family DD was always the most energetic, eccentric and intense child. If we went to the park or museum it was hard to get her to walk instead of run. As she got older it got a little easier. Friends kids were always so well behaved and calmer. They wouldn't have tantrums at 5 or 6. I didn't always feel comfortable around certain people because I felt judged by DD behaviors.

DS1 is easier to know something is up because he is still so young. I'm also more aware of what is typical for his age. He walked at 9m and has a vocabulary of many words compared to his peers. I've had a few people tell me he is different and very alert and observant from birth.