Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Existencial depresion?

DD has just learnt about wars, and poverty and that people can die of hunger ... and she is getting increasily worried about it.

How do you deal with this? She is not even 5

She keeps asking questions and I do not know what to answer.

Any advice?

It's tempting to give in depth explanations because she is so intelligent and has displayed that she is aware of these very complex issues.
But my advice is be as age appropriate as you can. Don't brush off her questions, because her concern will probably grow if she senses these questions are "off limits", but keep it sweet and simple if possible.
I think the best way to handle is: Unfortunately, honey, sometimes this happens to some people, but it will never happen to you.
There are very intelligent adults who are working very, very hard to solve these problems.

Off the top of my head that's the best I can come up with.

Gotta run to school, but will check back in later. Hopefully you'll have the problem solved by then!

Provide her with a tangible opportunity to do something to fix the wrongs in the world.

Example -- Have her do a special chore around the house, pay her, take her to the grocery to buy some food, then take her to a food bank to donate it.

Neato: she is drilling me .... even if I am vague she keeps asking why or how or when and she is like a pitbull with a leg in his mouth: it will not let it go. Plus she can figure out things by herself from little bits pieces of information, like when she figured on her own that everybody (including herself) dies.

She saw an image of a small child who was obviusly ill from some subdeveloped country and she got really really impresed by it. I am still kicking myself for not being more careful.

OH-Oma (=Grandma in Dutch): I have to find out about food bank here - or maybe the Red Cross...

A lesson from Corrie Ten Boom:


I've also used this method.

P.S., I like 'Oma'.

I like that quote Oma!

Okay, I'm back. So you did you try what both of us suggested and she is still drilling you?
If so, give me an example of what questions she is asking and I'll tell you what I said to my kids.

My son had a difficult few years around ages 4 and 5, with a neighbor boy dying and his grandmother who lives next door suddenly forgetting who he was because she had suffered brain damage. My son had an even harder time when he was 5 1/2 and in Kindergarten and his dad was diagnosed with cancer.

My son learned to deal with it with humor. He had heard that "laughter is the best medicine" so he came up with the funniest things to say when we waited with his dad at the hospital. My son needed to feel like he was doing something to help and this was the only way he knew how. I think that somehow helped him deal with knowing that there was bad stuff happening all around him. He knew he couldn't do anything about what was happening, but he could help the people going through it feel better by making them laugh.

He does still worry about some things but I really think that feeling like he is doing something helps him.

Maybe she could feel like she is helping by donating food to a food bank.

Nope, not yet ... She is sleeping.... shhhhhh ....

And so will I in a short moment

Good night!

One of my kids is a worrier. He was very worried about death and extinction when he was 4/5. He's 6 now and the topic doesn't come up as often.

I think he deals with it in part by thinking about ways to bring back extinct animals (cloning [though he barely understands the idea], time machines). This gives him focus and a goal-oriented approach. Maybe you could encourage your daughter to think about ways to make things better.

Val

I was quite a worrier, too, as a little girl. My main worry was nuclear war, but there were many others. When my DS was in those phases, I would sit by his bed and rub his back and tell him about how I used to worry about the same things when I was his age and how my mother would sit by my bed and rub my back and tell me about how she used to worry when she was little and her mother would rub her back.....

I think one thing that was hard for him was feeling like he was the only one who worried, who felt the pain. Knowing that it was normal and that he wasn't crazy, and that he was not feeling the pain alone seemed to help.