Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Advice for a New GT mom

Hi
I'm new to this.....Our DD is 6 and will be entering 1st grade this fall. She entered Kindergarten reading at about a level "H". She finished Kindergarten reading at a level "T". She was in ELP for 1/2 hour a week. The school made promises of having her read with !st grade readers last year, and never did. The books they read in class were WAY to easy. The teacher even remarked that she was having a hard time finds books for our daughter to read!
The problem is that the school didn't take us seriously. While they put her in ELP for 1/2 a week, that wasn't enough. When I talked with someone about testing, etc. all I got was pushback. Finally, after talking to GT professional in another school district, she gave me a list of things that I needed to do. DD finally was given the CoGAT after asking what criteria needed to be met to have the test given. Her results were: 97%-verbal, 93% Quantitative, 94% Non verbal. I received the results just as they were posted above and was told to go on line to search for more information.
I wanted the test to help plan to how her needs could be met. I was told we'd see how things worked out in the classroom first.
My mom spidey senses have been on alert since day one. It doesn't feel right. The teachers seem tired. There are a lot of kids with socioeconomic problems at home, low parental involvement (Even have a special group to try to get parents involved), ELL target school and a fairly high percentage of turnover of children throughout the year.
My husband thinks nothing is wrong and that everything is fine. Mind you he is never there during school hours.
We are also having an IQ test given to her by a child psychologist. Our DD has some asynchronous development and is highly sensitive. Today we both had meltdowns (crying) at the end of her weeklong summer invention camp.
I'm worn out and frustrated. It's hard having a kid that would rather talk about red blood cells and how important they are than talk about other more "kid" oriented topics.
Anyone have thoughts, suggestions or been there?
We are going to try to open enroll for this fall with good cause being her Test results and no formal GT groups, including parent groups are not offered in our current district. The district we want to go into has tons of social/special events for kids in the GT program-science fair, Math Games, etc. Those sorts of things are what WE need, what SHE needs. My husband says I try too hard. She's been my full time job since birth. I'm going with my mom instincts!

Thank you for listening to this frazzled mommy:-)

Keep it that way....Homeschool. It would be easier than the constant fight. You sound like me with my DD10, my husband taught her in school for 2 yrs and we finally got the school to skip her. She does lots of reading her own books (that her teacher allows her to "sneak" in because they are above her allowed grade range and books like logic and thinking skills workbooks. With my DD8 coming up behind her we decided it was better just to homeschool her rather than go through all the fighting with the school again. Let her socialize with extra curricular activities.

Been there. I say, go with your instincts. I've seen firsthand the psychological damage that a bad school environment can do to a girl that age. It can't be ended soon enough.

Good luck with the open enrollment. If that fails, I'd say homeschooling is a great fallback option.

oh, have we ever been there... for many months i kept thinking i was nuts - if DD5 really was so bright, wouldn't school be great for her?? but apparently even at a carefully-chosen and scrimped-for school, Pre-K nearly killed us all. the admissions process was nuts - they knew up-front what they were getting with DD - and still, the teachers and administration stuck their heads in the sand.

i SO wish i had something more encouraging to say - but like the others above have suggested... after looking around all spring for a new school and hearing what turned out to be an endless stream of lip service - we're homeschooling next year, too.

all the empathy for you and your red-blood-cell-loving bean! (mine is obsessed with surgery - so i totally hear you!!)

The school's position is ridiculous, the immaturity is exacerbated by not being with more advanced peers. I am on the threshold of getting DD accelerated one grade because of this. I scoured the web for articles ( including asking others here ) for articles showing that acceleration ahead of social development was a bad thing and found *nothing*.

I then forked out for the IOWA Acceleration scale and showed the school staff - when you have IQ and achievement scores to back you up it is harder for the school to justify holding someone back. The IA scale also gives the school some CYA because it offers them a chance to a) answer any accusations of favoritism and b) provides a tool that the school can use to help other gifted kids.

Wow! We went through the exact same situation. We are in PA and attribute it to these facts: gifted ed. is mandated but not funded and the curriculum for teachers does not include learning about the high-IQ students. Our PA Assoc. for Gifted Ed. and the Penn Center are having a seminar on Aug. 21 in Phila. about excellence/leadership in ed. for gifted/advanced learners. My point is "you are not alone" and "hang in there." Your instincts are correct; you are doing all the right things. Stay apprised of gifted in your locale and state and leverage from other areas. Information online will reduce the frustration. It does get better for the gifted students in general as elementary school is behind them, but, yes, it is very hard on gifted families in those early years.

This is SOOOO true. DS is a completely different child, depending on who he's around. When he's out in East Texas with a family member's boy, who is very calm and mature for his age, they pretty much NEVER get into trouble, never get out of control, there are no meltdowns, nothing. He's practically indistinguishable from a "regular" kid. Put him in the YMCA daycamp and we are back to acting inappropriately most of the day, meltdowns, running off, screaming, etc. Of course, DS's situation is exacerbated by his PDD-NOS & anxiety, but still.

I am in the same situation as the OP (my kid is entering 1st grade this Fall). Throughout the K year, my gifted son went to the mixed class (1st/K) in his "top rated" school and they let him join 1st grade for Reading and math and it was not sufficient to meet his needs. He ended up being placed in a reading group ahead of all the 1st graders, so they put him and the teacher in a separate reading group (too lonely for my social boy), he goofed off during math instruction because he was bored and started distracting other kids at class.
My best suggestion is - afterschool (you say that you are exhausted meeting her needs, and that is why I am not suggesting homeschool).
I have rigorously afterschooled my DS with accelerated math, LA and science curriculum that challenges him and keeps his interest alive. There are a ton of options and curriculum available out there. You may even do it on weekends, vacations and holidays.
The only problem with afterschooling is that it interferes with extra curriculars and it comes at a time when the child has had a long day and is tired.
Good luck.

This generally works best in half-day formal educational programs (Kindy or preschool). IME, anyway.

Why?

Well, ashley nails this one--


Remember, those ARE your child's opportunities to meet peers who share his/her interests and ability. If you limit those for the purpose of... hm...

forcing him/her to withstand an inappropriate educational environment daily...

I'd be certain that what s/he is getting out of that educational setting is worthwhile. It might be, if the social setting is lovely and fills a need for your child. It's also possible that it will become less worthwhile over time.

There does come a point even with a fairly exhausting child at which it's LESS work and more beneficial to everyone-- to homeschool rather than to afterschool.

You may also find that as your child outstrips your ability to meet his/her needs educationally, that you have to find other sources. That means $ and time to spend with those others. School can begin to seem like it "gets in the way" of your other educational opportunities for children like this.

Afterschooling can make a nice bridge to full homeschooling, though, and it will give you an idea how hard it would be on you (and your child).