Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Stressed! Just need to vent a bit!

I am soooo stressed right now! We are trying to empty out our house so we can put it on the market, and buy a new house, which is super stressful as it is. So, of course, on top of that, DS9 appears to be working on getting kicked out of daycamp at the YMCA! He's been HITTING people!! I know the Y isn't the most ideal situation for him, but it's honestly been the most flexible and best camp we've found and now he's doing this. Arg! It's like, what do other 2e working parents DO all summer?? I cannot be the only person in this situation!

I'm working on trying to find a part-time nanny for when school starts, since DS got kicked out of the after school program... that's going to cost me like twice as much $$. I really feel like the nanny could be a really good thing for DS though. Someone consistant who is there just to focus on him and DD7. She(he) can take them to the park after school, help with their homework... and I can sign them up for music lesssons/gymnastics and she can take them. It will be good.. I am just stressing about finding someone who clicks with DS and has the patience to deal with him!

For those of you who work, what do you do with your 2e kids all summer??

Remind me, is DS9 the one with autism? Hard to keep all our 2Es straight here.

We have always been engaged in a huge shuffle with DS10's care. He could not tolerate the after-school care ("lord of the flies") setup. We have after-school ABA help, college students or young adults, trained by our therapy staff, who use that time to work with him on goals (including fun things like fitness and outings). We use the time.

In the summer, it's a mix. We up the hours on that therapy help. We have also used an inclusive day camp-- they have lots of special ed majors on staff, and they try. Half-day camps on topics of interest plus our student helpers usually give me enough coverage-- luckily my work is also flexible, especially in summer.

HTH

DeeDee

Yes, DS9 is the one with the PDD-NOS dx.

How did you find the inclusive day camp?? Does it cost a fortune? I didn't even know how to begin to find such a place. The Y at least was open to working with DS, they allow him to hang out in the director's office when necessary and they have been amazing about making sure's got his meds each day, and they allow him to have his packed lunch every day (the kids are meant to each the provided hot lunch and snack) and eat away from the other kids if the smells bother him.. I think most of the day is just a bit loud and chaotic and it gets to him. Especially after spending last week with some relatives out in East Texas where it's so calm every day and he's only around a handful of other kids. (And those other kids are super well behaved and calm!)

The inclusive day camp is run by a university not far from us. I think they started it as a training ground for education students, and as a service to faculty/staff who work in the summer.

Maybe you can talk to your professionals about options? Ours keep a list of inclusive camps on hand...

Moving is a huge change, and you're probably seeing the stress of it, even if he thinks the hitting has nothing to do with it...

DeeDee

We have DD9 in camps, but after a couple of disasters last year agreed (with her) to only have her in camp every other week, and only to have her in camps that she chooses (actually that sounds like we weren't having her choose before, which isn't correct; just that she developed a very strong dislike last year of some camps that before she had put up with--like tennis, which I think she would enjoy except that by Summer down here it's about 90 degrees by 11, and all the courts were outdoors and she hated that--which I would too. but anyway...) The camps around here vary a lot, so it took a little trial and error to find the ones that had a style that fit, but they're not billed as inclusive or as being for 2e kids, they just happen to have the 'right' approach. I don't know how you could ever figure that out beforehand but maybe having a long conversation with the camp director--although that might scare them off or of course turn out to be inaccurate.

On the weeks when she's been home, we have pretty flexible hours and I work from home a lot of days so it's kind of working out so far, but I think it might be more fun for her if we had a sitter to take her more places or do more stuff directly with her during the day. Maybe you could find a college kid during the Summer--didn't somebody post on here once about how college students who are education majors sometimes have a lot of interest in working with gifted or 2e kids? Also a couple of the families at DD's school have au pairs during the year and that seems like it might be a good option if you get a good fit.

Sorry you're having difficulty right now; I hope it gets better!

Sending you a huge hug Amy! We're not dealing with the same issues, so I don't have any really applicable advice (other than to commiserate over the time it takes and stresses involved in parenting 2e kids)... but fwiw, I am wondering if part of what's up is simply due to changes in routine (as well as stress over the pending move). My 2e ds functions soooo so much better when he's in his usual routine, and going on vacation can really throw him off - even if it's a great vacation like it sounds your ds has just had. Our ds almost without a doubt, when he was your ds' age, went through a total meltdown phase *after* our annual summer vacation where he had a chance to see his cousins and have a ton of relaxing, non-scheduled fun. It usually took a few weeks of getting him back into structured, full-scheduled busy days to get back to his usual "normal".

We've had friends (several different families) who used au-pairs and college students as their solution for child-care summer-through-winter and it worked out well, and in our area, it's about the same $ or less than after-school camps etc. They were able to have the students/au-pairs oversee homework, drive the kids to after-school therapies, lessons, etc, give the kids snacks, make lunches, etc - all kinds of things that wasn't just getting the kids to and from school and keeping them entertained with busy-stuff like life can turn into when you're relying on after-school care, then having to fit everything else into what limited time is left in the week.

I hope that things smooth out at the Y camp and your ds is able to stay there - and if that doesn't work out, I hope you're able to find a good solution that will work through the next school year too.

Best wishes,

polarbear

I'm right there with you, hoping that DD9 doesn't get kicked out of Girl Scout camp. I fielded a call from the camp nurse asking about SPD and dysgraphia (and I did not have much luck actually getting her to hear anything I said). The call pretty much boiled down to, "How do we get her to stop screaming?"

Oh Elizabeth - I am so sorry you're dd is struggling too! There were days with my when my dd who has sensory challenges was younger that I just could *not* figure out how to get her to stop screaming - I hope your sweet dd is feeling more comfy very soon - sending you a hug too!

polarbear

Thanks guys. I'm hoping we make it through the end of the summer with the Y... hopefully he'll settle back in here soon!

I'm definitely looking for a nanny for after school... sadly it will end up costing almost twice as much as the after school program, but what are you going to do?

Elizabeth - I feel you on those phone calls! Lately it's been how to keep him from running off or hitting someone!!

I give mad props to the one day camp that reacted positively to it all - they didn't call me to ask how to handle her. They called a county child development expert and scheduled a training for all the staff, not just about DD but provoked by her. They correctly identified three major triggers (loud noises, sudden transitions, and changes in an announced schedule), and figured out strategies for dealing with them, including being alert for her "tells" and heading off a meltdown before it started. That camp is getting more business from me next year, I tell you!