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    #161927 07/10/13 02:01 PM
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    Dear all,

    We'd like to share our new article and video about Nathan, a profoundly gifted child, and his mother�s epic search for the right school � the second part of our new series Real Parents, Real Stories.

    Because of your deep ties to the gifted community, we thought you all might be interested in reading and watching these pieces and sharing them with your community.

    We�d also be very interested in hearing your feedback to these pieces. We�re a small editorial team at GreatSchools, but we tackle a wide range of topics that confront parents in raising their children � from turning around a kid with math phobia to finding a school for a profoundly gifted child.

    As we roll out this new series focusing on specific families and the struggles they face, we�re always eager to hear from the parents and communities immersed in these issues.

    Thank you for reading and watching.
    We�re looking forward to hearing your personal stories, thoughts, and feedback.

    Warmly,

    Sandra Rutkowski
    GreatSchools
    www.greatschools.org

    IQ like Einstein: What is it really like to parent a profoundly gifted child?
    http://www.greatschools.org/parenting-dilemmas/7562-profoundly-gifted-child-story.gs

    Educating Nathan: Learn about one mother�s epic quest to find the right school.
    http://www.greatschools.org/parenting-dilemmas/7561-profoundly-gifted-child-video.gs


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    Originally Posted by Sandra Rutkowski
    IQ like Einstein: What is it really like to parent a profoundly gifted child?
    http://www.greatschools.org/parenting-dilemmas/7562-profoundly-gifted-child-story.gs

    Educating Nathan: Learn about one mother’s epic quest to find the right school.
    http://www.greatschools.org/parenting-dilemmas/7561-profoundly-gifted-child-video.gs


    Well, personally, I'm bothered by equating very high IQs with Einstein and with putting very smart kids on pedastals. People can get hurt when they fall off, you know.

    I don't think anyone actually knows Einstein's IQ; I've dug for this occasionally and find lots of estimates. Thing is, he was in his 20s when Binet created the first formal IQ test (it was for kids, I think), so...there you are.

    Anyway, many high-IQ kids who get compared to Einstein have IQs around 160, or a rarity of about 1:30,000 or so (here's an example). Here's another one.

    Stating the obvious: if all it took to be the next Einstein was a very high IQ, we should be terraforming in Andromeda galaxy and manipulating spacetime by now. There are >200,000 people this smart on the planet right now. It's not many compared to seven billion, but it's a lot compared to one guy named Einstein. And his success is attributed to more than just having a high IQ (whatever it was). He was also very creative and was comfortable challenging dogma, among other things.


    Oh, I recently got an email from Great Schools that implied that my son's previous school was racist because they tested kids and put them in math classes that were at their ability levels, so I'm a bit dubious about how serious your organization is about getting the facts right. Especially given, you know, the mix of races and ethnic groups in all the math classes there.

    Last edited by Val; 07/12/13 01:29 PM.
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    Thanks for posting the article. I'm always interested in profiles of PG kids, and how their parents handle schooling. I think it's well-researched, well-written, and I don't have a problem with the title.

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    Hmm.

    Well, I think it's a little bit sensationalistic. Not sure if that is on the side of the interviewer/writer or not.


    It's definitely good to see portrayals of actual PG kids and families, but there's also always an element of...


    what parent in their right mind would offer up a child for public consumption in this way, too.

    I'm not sure I'm articulating that very well. But it makes me uneasy to write a "biography" of my child at 10, or 11, or 15; more particularly so if it includes elements of future expectations, or inappropriate pressures. Even among families with PG children, moving several times FOR THAT CHILD alone... that's extraordinary and then some. There's also a whiff of child-blaming for the failure of the parents' relationship which I find very, VERY sad... and while a child at 12 may not (quite) understand that in an intuitive way, once it's in print it'll still be there for him to read at 18. Or 25.



    KWIM?



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    Well, I'm glad Nathan is happy at the Davidson school; I wish him all the best. I would second HK and Val's points, though, and particularly echo the idea that high IQ does not equate to success or to happiness--the one I remember best was from Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers, which is summarized here (and perhaps is in reality a little different from the description in "Outliers" depending on your perspective, although Mr. Langan does not seem to be terribly unhappy)
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Langan

    Finally, I'm not sure what Great Schools has to do with any of this. In our area, the only presence I'm aware of is that Great Schools has a website where people can post anonymously about particular schools--with predictable results. You might as well go to Yahoo to find a school for your kid, or flip a coin. I'm hoping Angies' List starts reviewing schools, although it still wouldn't be very useful to us because it has become clear that the results completely depend on the teacher(s) and whether they are interested in helping your particular child.

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    Val Offline
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    I think Great Schools is trying to expand beyond reviews. Just a guess, though, based on the emails I've been getting from them.

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    Okay, more cogent thoughts on why I'm a bit uneasy about this particular example being a "poster child" of what PG looks like:

    a) PG children DO NOT all have this much difficulty within the standard school system; much depends on the school's flexibility, the child's individual strengths and asynchrony, and other factors. A recent write up that looks at a FAR MORE BALANCED sort of approach to educating a PG child. This young lady's family was willing to consider the rest of her family's needs and also those of quality-of-life and having a childhood in which the entire family dynamic doesn't revolve-- exclusively, anyway-- around the PG child or his/her education. Even with that said, I'm pretty sure that I still wouldn't have wanted that to be written about my own DD.

    b) comparisons to the difficulties of a profoundly disabled child are baaaaaaad news. Always. This really ought to be a rule somewhere. Gifted 101; thou shalt not seek sympathy for your trials by comparison to disabled children. This never ends well, and it often just showcases fairly self-absorbed thinking. None of us with PG children (who aren't 2e) knows the pain of setting up a trust and the profound guilt of burdening our child's siblings with his/her care when we're gone. We may be afraid to SHARE our child's triumphs, but we don't experience some of what they do. Check in with 2e parents if ya need a reality check once in a while, that's all I'm sayin here. I get it, I do... we've changed MUCH about our lives and some of it was PG-related. But some of it wasn't, too. Disability changed things ohhhhhhh so much more. The PG-related changes were no-brainers by comparison.

    c) the side-show freak aspect of this kind of write-up always bothers me. It's not that I'm uncomfortable with the high ability of the children featured... it's that I look at some of what gets reported as anecdote by parents and think "um, that MIGHT not mean what you think it means... and even if it does..." I'd have told anyone who wanted to know that I was going to win a Nobel Prize and wow Carnegie Hall, back when I was an EG and enthusiastic 15yo. Part of the reason was basically some naivete, which was certainly charming in its own way, my youthful hubris aside, but I'm sure glad that nobody seriously held it as an expectation-- or wrote it in the newspaper. I also said a few things that sounded perfectly plausible and very avante garde to the adults around me... but which, upon reflection from more than 3 decades out, were actually not that brilliant or even thoughtful-- just incomprehensible to those around me. I can say that, though, because I know their genesis, being the one inside my head. Nobody but me knew that it was just talk and wasn't going anywhere because I just wasn't THAT interested. Or committed. Whichever. I'm naturally a dilettante. I can admit that now, but it's probably not something to actively reward in most teenagers. wink

    I thought that the message re: Davidson Academy was lovely, and positive. It explained-- without hyperbole-- some of the challenges of educating highly asynchronous students and how to answer those challenges.

    I consider this piece a very nice showcase for Davidson, at any rate, but it probably does VERY little in the way of 'normalizing' PG youngsters. Some of the emphasis seems to be on the "weird" or "extreme" aspects of having a PG child, and not on the positive and wonderful and reassuringly normal ones. They do exist. smile


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    I wanted to comment on the first article but it wouldn't let me do so without logging into my Facebook account. hmm

    But for what it's worth and as it has been mentioned already, it puts too much pressure on these kids to be identified in an article like this. I want our boys to make all their choices freely and yes, I do have high hopes for them but do not want to put them under any extra stress. Life is stressful enough on its own.

    That said ... I do enjoy reading about gifted children but do think keeping some privacy and distance is important.

    Last edited by Mk13; 07/12/13 07:12 PM.
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    Originally Posted by HowlerKarma
    It's not that I'm uncomfortable with the high ability of the children featured... it's that I look at some of what gets reported as anecdote by parents and think "um, that MIGHT not mean what you think it means... and even if it does..." I'd have told anyone who wanted to know that I was going to win a Nobel Prize and wow Carnegie Hall, back when I was an EG and enthusiastic 15yo. Part of the reason was basically some naivete, which was certainly charming in its own way, my youthful hubris aside, but I'm sure glad that nobody seriously held it as an expectation-- or wrote it in the newspaper. I also said a few things that sounded perfectly plausible and very avante garde to the adults around me... but which, upon reflection from more than 3 decades out, were actually not that brilliant or even thoughtful-- just incomprehensible to those around me. I can say that, though, because I know their genesis, being the one inside my head. Nobody but me knew that it was just talk and wasn't going anywhere because I just wasn't THAT interested. Or committed. Whichever. I'm naturally a dilettante. I can admit that now, but it's probably not something to actively reward in most teenagers. wink

    Have I told you how much I love you? It's because you're so me. smile

    As a dilettante teenager, I was going to be a world-famous lawyer AND go and train with the Ninja grandmaster in Japan. I'd really hate if that had been published somewhere as a serious ambition for my later mortification. My senior book notwithstanding.


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