Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school Anxiety inducing perfectionist issues

I know perfectionism and high intelligence run hand in hand, but DS3 seems to be having these bouts of high, almost OCD like behavior that only lasts about 20-30 min. He might have been tired both times as they both happened during lunchtime, but he seemed to be back to normal shortly later without having napped yet.

The first time he had this happen, it was almost like a manic, high energy issue where his chips weren't stacked right (pringles) and he couldn't pick up his hot dog without getting ketchup on his fingers. Offering a solution (fork for the hot dog, helping even out his chips) seemed to make things worse. The second time it was the same type of reaction but with a broken banana instead. He was almost obsessed with trying to put it back together to the point where he wouldn't even look at his other food. I finally took it away from him and put it out of sight until we got him calmed down. Finally after a lot of hysterics and DH trying to help him breath deeply, he ended up eating the banana without an issue.

Both times did involve food, but this is still only an occasional thing. DS is a bit of a perfectionist, but he's always been reasonable with it to where he gets if it can't be perfect and doesn't melt down totally. Has anyone experienced something like this? How did you help your child? Is there anything I can do to help prevent it or to help him through it?

TIA

Oh yes. Been through this with both my kids, DS5.5 and DS3.5. The younger is right smack in the middle of major OCD behavior. It gets to be very frustrating and sometimes I wonder how much I should allow him to get away with. I do try to pick my battles. I can't even go into all of it but just to mention a couple of things. At night when I hum to DS3.5 I am not allowed to close my lips as I do it. I have to keep them slightly open and he will point out even the most MINOR difference in how the hum comes out of my mouth. He doesn't even see me since I am holding him. It is just by hearing. I also have to say the exact same thing leaving his room at night, this ramble of things he came up with. (DS5.5 is over this phase now).

Then of course, things being in the right place, a curtain being crooked, something that fell over, toys lined up the way he wants them etc. etc.

He is also extremely particular about language and the words I use. If he says "This looks like a car", then I say "Yeah, it kind of does". This makes him very upset and he will say "NO, not kind of does, it DOES". And God forbid you ever call a pickup truck a car, or if you don't use plural when it is. He will correct you and say "Not car, carSSSS"

Exhausting....

Jolaine, do you think the upset is triggered by hunger? If so, you might want to make a quick Google search for "reactive hypoglycaemia" to see if it applies. I understand there is speculation that gifted children's brains are heavier consumers of glucose than the average, which is believed to deplete blood sugar quickly and trigger sudden mood swings around meal time.

FWIW, "broken food" freakouts are developmentally normal at 3. It's some weird thing they go through. If you Google it you'll find a lot of hits.

What UM said. Developmentally normative stuff for a preschooler.

This stuff always surprised us with DD, who was cognitively SO not her chronological age. There were always these little anomalies that reminded us, though, that developmentally she is still tied to that chronological age in idiosyncratic ways.

That's good to know it is normal! DS had been having these types of issues with broken food for a little while, but it was his behavior with it that was unexpected. The rate at which he got to hysterics was something that I'd never seen before. But, that can also be possibly attributed to him being 3 since that is a trying age. He's definitely more of a handful in more ways than that! lol It is so surprising when he's tackling some things several years beyond his age and then turns around and acts his real age. It is very easy to forget what age they really are at times.

Aquinas, I wasn't sure about the hunger thing but I will look into it. It was a thought I had too that it could be worsened by hunger or by being tired. It just seems to happen only on certain days, but if I track what he eats on good and bad days, that will help me know for sure too!

Thanks everyone!