Thanks everyone. This has indeed been an adventure.
Today DH and I toured the school the district recommends. We are not at all convinced the student population is a match for DD. No 2E kids. The classroom we observed today had kids shouting out, bouncing around, etc. The kind of thing that would totally trigger her anxiety. We arranged for her to visit for a day but don't really expect it to work. They said that they will be rearranging classes for next year and are going to try to create as much as possible what they expect her class to look like. I asked them not to sugar coat it so she can see what a day would really be like. We'll see what happens.
We also took DD to tour the really local LD school. It's odd because all these programs focus so much on kids who need social skills but that is so not DD. She walked in, hand outstretched, and said "Hi I'm [first name] [last name]. I'm here for a tour." She charmed the pants off everyone she met. We still don't know enough about their program to be able to tell if they could meet her needs. We asked the district to make a second referral there so that we can get more information from them.
I think either place would be an improvement over her current school but I doubt either will be as good a match academically as the 2E school. Not having to uproot Monday-Friday would be huge though. I'm really not sure how this is going to end up...
