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i'm just starting to comb through and steal each and every one of your great ideas on homeschooling, so please do ignore this if it's a blatant repeat of an older thread.

but i thought it might be neat to pull together thoughts on when/how y'all knew that homeschooling was right for your kid(s). tell me some stories!

My son is now in public school but I took him out after K. It was just too stressful for him.

The stress was the whole card pull discipline system (he was 99.8 percent always on green with just two days of non-green behavior that I never did get the full story on). And he hated it when the whole class got yelled at or punished for the actions of a few. And his class was a bit wild. He was fine in school and a mess when he got home. His anxiety was going through the roof. I was a little frustrated with the school/administration for other reasons that had nothing to do with him.


I homeschooled 1-4 and then he went back to public school. The break was the best thing I ever did for him.

My older son (2E) was in a Montessori school for first grade. His academic skills were *worse* at the end of that year than they were at the beginning. At first we thought we would put him in the public school with the idea that maybe a more traditional approach would help. So I tutored him over the summer hoping that I could get him caught up to something approaching a beginning second grade level. What I discovered was that he needed *a lot* more remediation than any classroom teacher would be able to handle and that tutoring him was working wonders. So we homeschooled instead, and I'm so glad we did! He's now 16 and doing well at the local community college, pursuing an AS degree in engineering.

My younger son is almost six years younger than his brother. So practically from birth he had the benefit of my experience with teaching the older one. By the time he was old enough to enter kindergarten, he was already doing first and second grade work. So we homeschooled him as well.

Just last fall, we decided to see if a b&m school would be beneficial for him. We did a one year skip at that point and the school allowed him to take Algebra I as well (he is 5th grade age). It became clear early in the year that a second skip would be appropriate, both socially and academically, but since he was in a combined 6-7 class, we just left things as they were. He will be skipping into eighth grade next fall. I really appreciate that the school is working with us to find an appropriate placement for him.

However... The acceleration has been great, but we need to find a balance between time spent on schoolwork and time spent being a kid. I can't justify having my 11 year old in school or commuting from 7:45-4:00 every day and then doing homework until 8:00 every evening (it wasn't like this all the time, but enough to be concerning). So we're going to homeschool math next year, since the school's approach to math is uninspired at best and, frankly, damaging at worst. It also seems to be the most homework intensive subject, so having control of it myself will solve a lot of problems.

I suspect that we will move back to homeschooling, at least half time, at the end of next year.

Homeschooling was the most difficult and the most rewarding thing I have ever done. My children benefited enormously, and I miss it very much.

heh - it's like you're living in my head, Portia! that's been our year, in a nutshell.

and these are all so great - keep em coming!

DD8 is a social creature who craves lots and lots of friends (not a lot of luck on that front, though), so we've given school every opportunity.

pre-K: Highly successful. Teacher and DD bonded, and teacher said, "I have nothing to teach her," but found ways to differentiate for her that kept DD engaged and included while celebrating her strengths. For instance, DD took over the reading during story time.

K: Abysmal failure, DD was yanked out and homeschooled after 2 mos. School rejected all our suggestions, decided on differentiation in class, then didn't differentiate. Our DD was bullied by the teacher to keep quiet so the other kids could learn. The tipping point was when DD, who had written beautifully since before she started pre-K, declared, "I don't know how to write an M." Her work output had been growing increasingly sloppy.

1: DD back in public school, now eligible for gifted program. Not a successful year, though she managed to last the entire year. The 90-min G/T pull-out taught 1-3, almost all 3rd graders (DD was the only 1st grader), and no differentiation was made, so she felt like a failure there. Meanwhile, everything in home room was chaotic, as she had the class where all the troublesome kids were stored. Differentiation in there was promised, but was spotty at best. DD began developing some rather alarming personality traits.

2: DD lasted a month before we yanked her out this time for homeschooling. Her home room teacher made no effort to differentiate for her, and was hostile to DD's requests for any. G/T class material was looking less like education and more like enrichment... but she was supposed to be getting these classes for math and language arts, which sorta implies there should be some education in there somewhere. DD's homeschooling involved identifying and addressing all the gaps that had developed, then accelerating her through material until she'd completed all 3rd grade requirements. Before any of this could be done, DD had to be restored to her previous levels of self-confidence and love of learning.

4: Going back to school again, because apparently we're slow learners. Different scenario again... G/T is longer in 4th grade (half the day), so you'd figure it has to be more than just enrichment, plus we've effected the grade skip the school always passive-aggressively refused to consider. Wish us luck.

Another variation/alternative to homeschooling is virtual school. I just posted in another thread on that.
http://giftedissues.davidsongifted.org/BB/ubbthreads.php/topics/159407.html

I really wanted to homeschool anyway, so public school really had a hard customer with me. Homeschooling gives kids more free time. It doesn't take much work to make a lot of progress when you have your own mom as a private tutor. All your lessons are tailored to your personal development.

I love the teachers and the principal and the kids at the local small town public school I sent my kid to this year for pre-k, not expecting academic progress, but expecting him to be taught "how to do school". I tried to get them to take him early, last year, before he was reading or writing very well. He would have been easier to direct a year earlier, I thought. Our state doesn't allow any early entry into public pre-k.

The pre-k teacher subject accelerated him to kinder for language arts because he was already reading well. At Christmas the kinder teacher told me the acceleration wasn't working. She said the pace of the class was too fast and he wasn't doing his work. I almost believed it might be true until I convinced my son to tell me exactly what work was too fast. It was to write a string of the same letter once across a page before a kitchen timer went off. He said the whole rest of the class could do it. I knew then that the pace of the class was not too fast but that the teacher fell for the boundry testing "I don't know how to do (what I don't feel like doing.)" I call not doing the work your teacher tells you to do a behavior problem. The school says it's not a behavior problem but a maturity issue. I say if I send you to school I expect you to do your work, or what's the point, really? I don't like that lesson he learned this year. I was disillusioned to find out he didn't do his busywork at school which I expect him to do. I can't reconcile with the teachers telling him that's ok. You know that parenting meme that says to make less demands on your young children, but follow through with what you tell them to do?

Besides, where could they really appropriately put him anyway? How many parents send their kid to school without expecting them to be educated? I did. But I did expect him to do what he was told.

I tried to use school for socialization and planned to afterschool. Afterschooling was no fun. I also considered asking for out of district placement in a nearby math and science charter school. It would have been 45 minutes extra on the bus twice a day, but I thought it would be worth the extra time to get both socialization and a good education at the same time. I was recently told not to try. The school used to take the cream of the crop but now it's lottery. They didn't have to finish the sentence because I've read about that problem here. It means they water down the education and add a ton to the workload to make up the difference.

It really seems best to keep my too immature to place kid at home and let him stay immature longer. I found out I am not doing attachment parenting because I spank, but some of it still fits. (besides just the waterbirth, ebf, and cosleeping). I went with the "be there for them while they're little and they'll feel secure enough to be more independant quicker." It's true, they feel very independant and secure. I think it might be the same for immaturity. I'm starting to believe I should expect EF to kick in around 12 yrs. old. I think holding up his academics until he's mature enough to choose not to weasel his way out of busywork doesn't make a lick of sense. I think I'll be the adult, tell him what work he needs to do, let his immaturity take its own sweet time. Maybe that will work in the same way that offering more security made them more independant instead of trying to get him to mature enough to go do school that's below his achievement and academic readiness.

I'll admit that beneath all these reasons I want to keep my little kids home and teach them myself. My sister and husband grant me that is part of it, but they say it's mainly because he's not able to get the education he needs at school. I'll be homeschooling next year.

Beautiful. Just beautiful. I love this philosophy

I made the final decision to homeschool my DS for K just a few days ago. I've been considering it for a few months, but the clincher came for me last week. He told me he doesn't "feel smart" at preschool, but he DOES "feel smart" at home. At home, his knowledge of biology surpassed mine a while ago and I had to resort to buying college text books and relying extensively on google to answer his questions - at school, they're learning worms are "squishy". Go figure.

I actually didn't realize my son was gifted until recently. Sure, he was talking in full sentences by his first birthday and uses his McDonald's happy meal toys to enact in amazing detail the mating rituals of various species of Birds of Paradise - but don't all kids do that?

I started my homeschool experiment a few months ago (in enough time to register him for public K if this homeschooling thing didn't pan out). I met another homeschool mom at a library class, and after talking to me for about 10 minutes she suggested I research homeschooling gifted children. Apparently, the "problems" I was having - finishing first grade math in 3 weeks and struggling with DS's ridiculous level of perfectionism - weren't just normal homeschooling stuff.

Before trying out homeschooling, DS had been increasingly withdrawn, moody, and self-defeating. I could tell his self esteem was dipping, but I couldn't figure out why. Everyone in his life is positive (including his teacher at preschool, who has done nothing but praise him and encourage him). The more we homeschool and the more I learn about his giftedness, the more I realize what's been going on inside his little head and heart. And it's bringing back memories of how *I* felt in public elementary school as a gifted kid.

During this homeschool experiment, I've slowly learned how to challenge my DS without putting too much pressure on him (motivate him without crossing over his perfectionist threshold), and he has flourished! My funny, happy, engaging, curious kid is coming back!

And that's how I know we've moved from "maybe" to "definitely" homeschooling :-)

For us, there wasn't any real "tipping" point, so much as a major epiphany.

I don't know why, but even after we struggled for six months to find a preschool (and eventually gave up, opting for a very loose Montessori at home approach), we still were 100% convinced that we'd be enrolling our then 5yo in a local public kindergarten.

Our local school is a good one, within walking distance of our home. Both my DH and I are products of public schools. My family is filled with public educators. I believe in that model. I do not believe in unschooling as a model of education except for some very remarkable circumstances.

So our epiphany occurred when I took my then newly-turned 5yo to kindergarten orientation. I knew that I was going to need to talk to administrators/teachers and find out the lay of the land, so to speak, on managing her life-threatening food allergies (let's just say that most people who THINK that they know about life-threatening food allergies, even, haven't encountered anyone like her, and this includes a number of physicians-- she's nobody's "starter" project)...

my daughter was quietly content to observe all that was going on around her, politely sitting and listening to the presentation (geared toward parents) re: kindergarten readiness skills that parents should "work on" over the summer... all of which she knew. But that wasn't why we were there. We were there to figure out how big an uphill battle it was going to be to get her included in classroom activities and not, you know, kill her.

So during the mix/mingle afterwards, she sat and continued reading while I sought information from anyone official-looking.

I explained her situation to a veteran teacher, who agreed with me that {local school} was an excellent one, isn't that great... she described the handling of food within kindergarten classrooms and I did sort of quail, I fear... then she informed me that there were NO school nurses in any building in our district, oh yes, and the cafeteria (which doubles as the gym) serves PB+J as a menu option every.school.day.of.the.year. (OMG)... at which point, I was reeling on that front, given how far we'd have to go to make it feasible...

so then I added DD's concern from the earlier presentation-- what do you do with children who are already possess quite good literacy and numeracy as entering 5yo's? She had clearly heard that question before. She said-- "Oh, there are always a few that have already started reading because their parents have worked on those skills. Teachers are used to seeing quite a range in kindergarten. Did your daughter come with you tonight?"


I responded, "Yes, that's her over there against the back wall-- she's the blonde little girl reading." You have to imagine the scene, here-- there are adults milling around talking, and about seventy 4-7yo children playing tag, shrieking, and generally burning off sitting for forty minutes through this presentation at the beginning of things. DD was clearly aware of all of that, but was reading a very fat chapter book, swinging her legs gently back and forth and rapidly turning pages every thirty seconds or so.

The teacher took all of this in, and then turned back to me...

"What... is... she... reading?"

I just shrugged-- she read all the time-- I seriously wasn't even paying that much attention by this time. Hank the Cowdog, I think? Maybe Magic Treehouse? She went through them like potato chips. She read everything basically, and had only learned to read about three months ago, so I wasn't really sure...

"Does she do math like that, too?"

I sort of casually explained what I thought were pretty straightforward skills, nothing too special... but the teacher's eyes bugged.

"I have never said this to anyone, and if you repeat it, I'll deny it. DO NOT put your daughter into a kindergarten classroom in this district. You'll be risking her life every day, and she will be learning NOTHING. Don't do it. I'm so sorry."

I was stunned.

When I called the principal of the local school later in the week, though-- the response kind of chilled me, because that was a cheery "Oh, don't worry... we'll figure out the food thing as we go. Just understand that we're all going to make a few mistakes as we figure things out, and all will be well..."

Well, that was that. My DH and I both knew what that meant. That meant that they didn't have experience with this kind of sensitivity/severity, but THOUGHT that it wouldn't be a big deal. We knew that "mistakes" cannot happen if they can be foreseen-- every 'mistake' is rolling the roulette wheel, and the odds are similar (according to our medical professionals). Our original allergist here had also recommended AGAINST a school placement for DD way back when she was just three.

After that orientation, I started seriously researching homeschooling philosophies and methodology. We were still thinking that we'd eventually put her into a public school placement when she was "old enough to manage" on her own-- maybe 8-10yo?

The trouble was that after 18 months of homeschooling, she was at 3rd grade level (and then some-- actually, and then quite a lot in some areas) and climbing rapidly. That was when the virtual school came into things. We were having an increasingly difficult time getting her into appropriate extracurriculars given the huge gap between her chronological age and her cognitive needs, and around here, people who work with youth all have learned to roll their eyes at the exaggerations of mamas who proclaim their children future Einsteins. (Note that teacher's initial response to me-- before she was presented with the reality-- we've had this happen many times here.)