Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Gifted Education not at all what we thought

Hi There,
My son is in 7th grade gifted class in middle school. We transferred from private school to public this year and thought that it would be a good idea for accelerated learning in his areas of competence. He went into the gifted class in December. From the start there were some problems. His grade went from a 98 to a 79 in the course of 1 1/2 weeks in the class. Much to our surprise the gifted class was more along the lines of a very difficult english class. There is no weighting of grade either, so he did get grade up to a B, but it didn't allow him to get honors since B in gifted same as B in normal classes.

We have told him to try and do his best with this class. The teacher is scary to him. She scolds the children that they are to come to her with any questions and if a parent contacts her, she gives them grief in front of the class.

Now for the problem today. Finally a project came in that wasn't just heavy on English lit, or acting, which seems to be the important topics to date. It was to make an invention (model or prototype), make a power point and present it. He is a bit shy and the teacher gave him a 60 on the presentation and a 72 on the project overall. She said that the invention was not creative, nor useful, nor fulfilled a need. She said that he was too nervous for the presentation( she actually gave him a 1 out of 4 on rubric for nervousness). Finally, she allowed the kids to have a free for all Q and A session where the other children got a bit obnoxious in questioning.

My son had a working prototype of what he called a locker dryer to dry out the swim gear from kids gym. He had watched a video on how to disassemble a hairdryer. He pulled out part of heating coil and fan and soldered it to battery pack with my help. He had powerpoint telling function, need, brandname, schematic diagram and pictures of the making of the prototype.

I don't know what to do. He had been so excited about this project and now feels like crap. He hates this glorified English class. Teacher is defensive of grading.

She is likely to be same teacher next year for gifted. I feel like we're going to have to pull him out. I don't see this getting better. Should I discuss this with counselor and principal? This is all new to us.

Thanks
Nancy

I also wonder whether maybe your son's experience of presenting may be different from that of most others in the class, if they've had similar school experiences that are different from his? E.g. my DS's school gives children lots of practice at various kinds of speaking in public, way more than most other schools in the area. A single child from elsewhere might well suffer by comparison until they'd had a chance to catch up and banish the nerves.

It sounds like she can be harsh, if she's scolding kids for asking questions and saying something about a child's parents contacting her in front of the rest of the class. Definitely not what you'd want in an ideal teacher.. but I think most of our children are going to have a teacher at some point that isn't a good fit re personality and at some point in time will probably have a teacher who simply isn't a good teacher. It's too bad your ds had this teacher as his first teacher in the gifted program. Have you talked to the teacher about how your ds feels? My 7th grade ds can be very sensitive - and he has one teacher who is definitely not sensitive - if I listened only to my ds' description of things I can get really upset with the teacher, but if I step back and consider the teacher's personality I can see sometimes it's not that the teacher is doing something that's horrible, it's the clash of personalities - teacher is an all-out-there person who's ego doesn't bruise, but ds is a very think-before-he-speaks sensitive soul. I wonder if part of what's up with your ds' experience is a bit of a similar clash of personalities.

I have also found it's *very* common for middle school teachers to expect communication about classwork etc to come from the student - not the parent. This can be rough at first, but I think it's an important step toward independence and the teachers who help kids make that transition are helping the kids be ready for the next transition on to high school where teachers are for sure not going to want to hear from parents


I'd think through why you chose the gifted program for your ds - did he want to be in it? What does it offer that's attractive? What are the benefits you've seen from it this past semester? I do not believe in choosing a gifted program simply because you have a high-IQ child - you'll want to consider all the things you'd consider in choosing any school - quality and philosophy of instruction, curriculum, size of the class, who is instructing the children.. etc. Let go of thinking that your ds needs to be in a gifted program *unless* there is some goal later on - maybe high school - where being in this program right now makes a difference. And if there is something like that on the horizon, stick with it.

I am not sure I'd talk to the principal yet until I'd talked to the teacher and asked her about the things your ds has told you about the class.

Re the presentation - I was thinking the same thing as Colinsmom - perhaps the other students have had a lot more practice in giving presentations and are more comfortable because of it. The school my ds goes to has kids giving presentations starting in K - by the time they are in middle school they are presenting a project at least once every week or so, and it's really not a big deal to the kids to get up and present. They are also given a rubric for each project so they're used to that philosophy of grading a project or presentation. I think that rather than being upset about the grade on the presentation I'd try to talk to your ds and get his thoughts re was he nervous, and if so, what could he do next time to help him not be so nervous? It sounds like he had an interesting project - but it's so hard to tell what one project is like when you don't see all the other projects... did you have a chance to look at what the other kids presented? I would want to do that before jumping to the conclusion that the teacher's remarks were off-base.

Hang in there - I hope you find a better-fit classroom for your ds next year -

polarbear

What a bummer!! I agree, it sounds as though for whatever reason, there is a real communication failure between this teacher and your child. It is also possible that there is a period of adjustment happening in which your child is learning many of the unwritten 'rules' within the school system that he's now in. It does sound as though this kind of inquiry-led model is a genuine gifted class, though-- I'm assuming that this is an "honors elective" or something similar, and that it is pretty open-ended in terms of assignment guidelines. Many children find that difficult to adjust to at first. I mention that only to let you know that if you haven't yet tried talking to the teacher and asking for (as opposed to demanding) an explanation of what grading/course performance and assessment reflect, I would. You're new to the system. For all you know, your DS' classmates have seen this kind of elective for the past three years already.



We've been there with communication issues and a particular, no-way-to-make-him/her-happy teacher who seemed to LIVE to nitpick my DD to death. It was so frustrating for my DD to try-and-try-and-try to fix HER end of things, only to come up short because there was no real acknowledgment that communication problems generally require BOTH parties to flex to fix them.

On the other hand, I do think that my DD13 has gotten something valuable from the experience, and I don't regret it, in hindsight. She has learned that with persistence and careful study of the problem, she CAN flex her own style sufficiently to deliver what the person needs/wants, even if it means doing things in ways that she would NOT ordinarily do them.

I think that is probably a good life skill to be learning, even if the lessons are difficult emotionally. Better now than in high school, right? At least it doesn't come with a penalty on a transcript that a college will see.

I do understand that some teachers are just plain toxic for some kids. But I'm not seeing that level of dysfunction in what you've posted. I do understand how frustrating this situation is, though.