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    Joined: May 2011
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    I teach at my second grade son's school (moved there this year for multiple reasons). I only mention this because while it does help things, it also complicates this a bit.

    My son has always been ahead of the curve developmentally where "academics" are concerned . . . we knew early on that something was "different" when he started talking at 6 months and could read sight words after he spelled with them wooded alphabet letters well before 2. He has always had an natural love for learning and exploring and once he started school that only continued.

    In Kinder, I didn't push for much additional differentiation because we felt that he had plenty to learn in terms social and physical development and he was in a good place.

    In first grade, he had the same teacher. We were initially excited because she knew him so well and we were hopeful that it meant good things for him. She really didn't differentiate much, despite the obvious need. We had amicable conversations about it which improved things a little, but in the end I was highly disappointed. (There is no GT program for students in K-2 in our school. Sadly.)

    This year he was in second grade. His teacher is a PHENOM. She "gets it" . . . she differentiates, she challenges, she inspires, she sparks imagination and motivation and is just fabulous!!

    She came to me on the second day of school saying that she couldn't believe what she was seeing. She continued to challenge him in ways that were really exciting, but also a lot of work . . . and while I, as a teacher and a parent, definitely believe that it is any teacher's job to DO that work, I also know the challenge of finding the time to do it right when a student is so far above grade level.

    Fast forward a month . . . she came to be recommending that we move him to third grade. Our principal was supportive, but also cautious, which was fine with me. We ended up leaving him in his second grade room for all but math and reading.

    He joined a third grade class for math and reading in March. (I was disappointed that it took so long, but sometimes finding the balance necessitates a little give on both sides . . . so hubby and I rolled with the punches knowing he was in a great place in second grade anyway.)

    Third grade hasn't been anything of a challenge for him. We didn't necessarily expect that, but felt it was a good way to keep him moving forward, knowing the plan was for him to go into fourth grade the following year.

    Fast forward a little more . . . his third grade teacher is anything but great. frown I've tried to be respectful in my summation of her, knowing I am also a teacher and wanting to be fair before jumping to conclusions, but . . . it is worksheet, worksheet, worksheet and she doesn't differentiate ANYTHING. Even worse, she doesn't seem to TEACH outside of the curriculum / worksheets at all.

    My son, like many of yours I suspect, has long had things come really, really easy to him. Having to slow down and work when things are more complicated (multi-digit multiplication, for example . . . he knows it 100%, but because there are so many steps he'll often just fly through it skipping steps that he CAN do in his head, but then will write down an incorrect number somewhere because he's doing too fast . . . he just hasn't had to learn to work methodically. I know he'll be fine in the long run, but my biggest fear all along has been him not learning to WORK for or THINK about things) has been a challenge for him.

    He's at the very top of her third grade class (and while it isn't a competition, he scored higher on the NWEAs than any third grader in our school and the vast majority of fourth graders and fifth graders too . . . he can perform).

    She recently told his second grade teacher (who told me with good intentions, but know I'm fuming) that she "doesn't think he's gifted . . . he doesn't put effort into anything . . ." and she completely bashed a story that he wrote in her class.

    She didn't provide a rubric or ANY expectations for the story. She told them to "write a fantasy story that they will later illustrate" . . . that's it. I even asked her what the assignment was because I was shocked when that was all he told me . . . and he was right.

    So my newly 8 year old who hasn't been taught to write, but has picked it up from all the reading he does (obviously in K / 1 / early 2 he learned sentence writing and basic paragraph writing, but at that level it is uber-basic) wrote a long story that his second grade teacher was jumping for joy over. (I haven't seen it yet.) She was incredibly impressed and couldn't wait to see what third grade teacher had to say about it.

    She trashed it. Not in front of him, but to his second grade teacher. There has been issue after issue . . . and this has put me over the edge.

    She threw out an oral assignment to her entire class with no rubric, no goal, no expectation, and expected my son to write something over and above everyone else . . . because he's "gifted" (he has now taken the appropriate tests, yadda yadda yadda, so he's officially in the program for next year; she isn't the gifted teacher . . . which makes me wonder why he was placed with her anyway, but . . .).

    She seems to think that he should naturally know how to do everything and if he doesn't perform to her expectations, he doesn't belong there.

    I'm heartsick. I'm furious. I just want him OUT. He has started to dread that part of school. He was sick for a week and the huge stack of worksheets (on many of the same topics) was enough to make ME crazy . . . he was going stir-crazy doing the same work that he had already mastered over and over again. I finally pared down the work, making sure he "proved himself" on one of everything and called it good. She didn't say anything to him or to me and I chose not to say anything to her either.

    I want her to know that she has sucked the love of learning out of him while she berates him (not to him, but to his second grade teacher who was equally upset as I am) for not meeting her expectations without knowing what they were. This woman should not be in our profession. She seriously embarrasses me as a teacher.

    I guess I don't know what I'm looking for. Thoughts? My husband is in full support of pulling him. We have only 8 days left of school anyway . . . but I also don't want to send the wrong message to my son. I want him to know that we can't just quit things because they don't go our way, yet I know he'd find some of his spark again if he could just stay with his second grade teacher.

    Reading that, it really is no contest, isn't it? He needs to be done with this third grade teacher. He isn't sure about going directly to fourth grade next year (where he'll have a GREAT teacher in the GT program), so having a third grade classroom (the GT teacher, not his current) and going to fourth for math and reading is an option (thanks to our supportive principal).

    This got long. I'm sorry. I'm just furious and sad for him and wish I could go to her and make it clear that the issues in her room have little to do with him (a newly 8 year old kid who can write pages and pages of fantasy story from his own creative mind with solid sentences and paragraphs not having been taught a thing about it . . . it was better than most of my fourth graders' work) and more to do with her teaching style. I just don't want to sound like the furious mama lion that i am, I guess . . . ugh.

    Thank for reading. Any thoughts are appreciated. I never imagined the struggles we'd have being on this end . . .

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    I just want to add after reading that, that his second grade teacher also wonders if his third grade teacher's room was the right place for him. Second grade teacher didn't want to accelerate him to make HER job easier, but to make his learning more challenging . . . that hasn't happened. She told me that she wishes she would have kept him now. I agree. frown

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    Boysmom,

    I'm so sorry that happened. We've been lucky to not run into that kind of teacher in our ds's education, but I'm aware they're out there: the rare teacher who finds it too challenging or threatening to teach a gifted child and rather than celebrate seeks to diminish and "put that child in his/her place." It sounds as if you have a great advocate in your ds's second grade teacher. I don't really have any advice. Perhaps others here will be able to help with that. I will say that with you and your dh as advocates this will probably not cause long-lasting damage--particularly if this teacher has been careful to keep her opinions to herself rather than pass them on to your ds.

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    Thanks KADmom. I'm just feeling so sad and angry this morning. My husband is away on a fishing trip, so not being able to really connect on this with him makes it feel even worse. Ugh!

    I do think that his third grade teacher's negativity has seeped its way into her conversations. He feels like he is expected to perform at a level that isn't clear to him. He doesn't always give 100% because things have been so easy and not required it, but when asked to, when challenged, he always rises to the occasion. I think that is my biggest frustration. I wish I could make it clear to his third grade teacher that the issue isn't necessarily with him (and don't worry, I'm not confused enough to think he's perfect by the long-shot wink ), but with her lack of direction, differentiation, and inspiration.

    As a teacher, I definitely expect my students to perform at the top of their ability, however I also realize that it requires the opportunity and expectation from me to do so. That is OUR JOB!!!!! If a teacher can't inspire, what good is she? Anyone can hand out a worksheet . . . that isn't teaching and completing them isn't learning.

    I hate to sound so mean, but I'm so frustrated. frown

    Thanks again for your thoughts. Summer is just around the corner, and I'm looking forward to our time together and even his year next year, which has got to be better, right?!

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    I think we all have good and bad experiences with teachers.

    What shocked me about the story is why there were not research and writing projects in grade 1. DD had use 2 resource books for a research project on ophthalmology in grade 1. Not accelerated program either.

    Another one was on the horn viper in grade 1 with an outline and everything.

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    Thanks so much. Wren, I have questions about how things were handled in first grade too, though overall his experience was far better than with this third grade teacher.

    I feel like I walk a fine line. As a parent, I can and will obviously support my child, but I'm also a colleague to these people, which adds a level that needs to be dealt with. Of course, while wearing either hat, I'm a strong advocate for differentiation and challenging our students. I've already spoken with our principal about the need for more differentiation push as a "requirement" rather than an option. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of great teachers at our school. I am proud to teach there, but there are some who haven't progressed beyond the basic curriculum and, truthfully, they can "get away with it" for the most part.

    I'm moving to a new grade level and have been asked to be one of the "GT teachers" at that level. I have also been in close contact (and have a VERY good working relationship with) our curriculum / GT coordinator who herself has gifted kiddos who have needed alternatives not always readily available in their own school district. We're moving in a good direction as school and district, but it just saddens me that my son has ended up in this situation in the meantime.

    We will be pulling him . . . I'm going on Monday morning to talk with her and will follow up with our principal. I intend to make it clear that it is due to not meeting our expectations in a way that is as nice as possible . . . but also not to let her "off the hook" in terms of what I think ALL kids deserve. It's just a matter of doing it in a way that is tactful and respectful . . . and she is a terribly intimidating woman (who doesn't get along with quite a few people in our building, which should have been a clue, right?!). But I've got this! wink

    Thanks again for your thoughts!!

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    IMO you need to do whatever you can to ensure that your DS doesn't have the bad 3rd grade teacher for anything after this year -just 8 more days.

    Once school is out just give your DS a bit of a break then do some museum trips, hikes/nature walks etc and let the joy naturally make its return this summer.

    Last edited by madeinuk; 05/18/13 12:38 PM.

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    I'll offer up my thoughts - although I am not sure from reading your post if your ds is still in 2nd grade and moved up to 3rd grade reading and math this spring (and this is the 3rd grade teacher you are talking about), or if your ds was in 2nd grade last year with the 3rd grade reading and math placement, and this full school year he's in 3rd grade full-time with the 3rd grade teacher you're mentioning being his full-time classroom teacher - I think it's the first - he's with the 3rd grade teacher part time since March of this year for math and reading only. My thoughts on the situation differ depending on which the situation is.

    Soooo.... if it's the first situation - still in 2nd grade but has been going to math/reading with the 3rd grade teacher since March, I honestly would chalk this up to a not-so-great teacher. I'm not sure that she would necessarily need to be differentiating for him further than the curriculum she is teaching the other 3rd graders in her classroom - is it all material he already knows? If it is, I'm not sure I understand why you didn't ask for a different placement or further differentiation back in March when he started in the classroom.

    My last thoughts apply no matter which grade your ds is in - you are so sooo so very close to the end of the school year. 8 more days. I wouldn't pull him out. If the last 8 days at your school are anything like the last 8 days of school here, there are a lot of special activities, end-of-year things like field day etc, teachers are wrapping things up, and out of the entire year it's usually the most fun time of school for most kids. Unless your ds has had a sudden onset of extreme anxiety or stress due to the situation with the 3rd grade teacher, I'd leave him at school and let him finish out the year with his classmates.

    I also think you need to really think through how this impression may look to your colleagues, and your principal in particular. It sounds like you have a great reputation at your school, and you're moving into a position that I'm guessing you'll be great at smile I would just be wary that while pulling him out makes sense to you, your principal or your co-workers might potentially see it in a different light. It's clear you want to see change for gifted students at your school, and you're going to be in a good position to do so next year - so I wouldn't want to leave an impression with any of your co-workers that you'll want to have on your "team" next year thinking you are quick to react impulsively or give the impression that you are judgmental of other teachers.

    It sounds like you've possibly been frustrated for quite awhile, but you've become much more frustrated after the things the 2nd grade teacher told you. In some ways, I feel the things the 2nd teacher told you were slightly unprofessional. Please know I don't mean that to be harsh, but - if you didn't work at this school and it was a colleague talking about a teacher you knew to a parent and telling her the things in the way she did - would you feel it's an ok thing to do? I am not explaining myself well, and I'm sorry I can't explain it more articulately at the moment! I just wonder if she would have said these same things to a parent who wasn't a co-worker? I can totally see how they would upset you, but I would try to stay focused on what would you have done given your existing frustrations with the situation if you hadn't had that conversation with her?

    Anyway, I am hoping your ds wil be placed in a classroom with a great teacher and challenging curriculum next year!

    Best wishes,

    polarbear

    ps - I also want to second master of none's excellent suggestions re how to approach talking about this with the school staff.



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