Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy the ole bait and switch

DS first grade has been attending 4th grade math (once a week) for a few months. We had a planning meeting today for next year. The principal informed us that DS will have NO acceleration next year. Nothing. He is to go to second grade and experience the differentiation that they don't actually do, like everyone else.

The reasoning? Gaps of course. But also (and the real reason), if they make this exception for us, the "line of other parents requesting the same" will also have to be accommodated.

Yes, I questioned the principal. Then she also started down the, "well yes, the psych report is outstanding and remarkable, but we really don't know who she is". (I won't name her, but she is an expert in gifted children for the past couple of decades.)

We've told the principal that this is unacceptable. If they do not go back and make some accommodation (we are ok with just a 2 year subject acceleration), we will pull out DS. They are regrouping and will get back to us in 2 weeks.

Is this totally nuts? Has anyone else been in this spot? And why do I feel so hurt? It's just business, right?

Someone panicked. But I would say, hang in there, you're not done yet.

Is there a written policy on acceleration in your district? Now would be a good time to familiarize yourself with it. There is one here, though it's a bit hidden... one has to be really looking to find it, because of the line of parents etc. Knowing their rules will help you know how to get the job done.

DeeDee

If they question the psych again "because we don't know her" request that the school provide an independent evaluation with a psych they do know and trust. If they continue to state there is a concern with gaps, request curriculum-specific achievement (such as end-of-year) testing to identify the gaps.

I have mixed feelings about the "can't do it because other parents would want to." Chances are good there are other students out there who would also be capable and benefit from math acceleration... and chances are the school simply can't handle it all due to staffing constraints, time, etc. Those of us who are here are parenting kids who are total outliers for the most part, but the reality is school isn't a good fit for many kids with even average IQs... and most of our school districts are having to stretch budgets that just won't stretch any further. So there's one side of me that understands that concern on the part of school staff. The flip side of course is you need to advocate for what your child needs - so I've found the most on-point argument for the 'we can't do that for you because we'd have to do that for other parents" line is to reply "We're not here to talk about all those other kids (parents), we're here to discuss the needs of my child." Then continue on

ITA with DeeDee too - find out what the official in-writing policy for acceleration is in your school district.

Good luck!

polarbear

We've been lucky so far with a fairly aware school district and staff. But it seems generally hard to tolerate people functionally lying or raising expectations only to drop them, and only amps up with the righteousness of seeing someone set your kid up to be unhappy, etc. If somehow DS's skip doesn't go through, I'd feel similarly.

For us, everything has felt easier knowing we are prepared to home school if that is the right option. Not the preferred option, but having made that decision and being ready for it sure gives a solid foundation to deal with anything that comes up.

I would nicely remind them that they are not "making an exception" for your son, they are meeting his academic needs, which is an integral part of any school's goals for every child.

As far as the "line of other parents," remind them that very few children are presenting the way that your DS does, and that, while they may have parents who request evaluation, that does not mean that they will have a line out the door of children who qualify for advanced work. Furthermore, there is a widely-held misconception among uneducated people that acceleration is harmful socially, so there are unlikely to be many parents who would want to "do" that to their child. FWIW, when my DD was the first to subject accelerate within our district, there was an increase in requests for evaluation for a short time, but once enough children were evaluated and didn't meet the high standards of achievement, ability, and social concerns, the interest reverted back to occasional, at best. (And those who did meet the standards began to have their needs met.)

I'm glad to hear that you told the principal that their new plan was unacceptable. And I'm glad that they are regrouping and will get back to you, rather than just dismissing you outright.

Perhaps a next step for you would be to provide them with information about who exactly your psych is. Maybe also provide them with some articles addressing the non-issue of gaps.

Key Math seems like a good assessment for this purpose.

DeeDee

There is no district policy at all. There are no mandates. Our gifted coordinator has no gifted training. We don't even have specialized math teachers. It's feeling very bleak now. We have been polite, supportive and positive all year. This is just a huge slap in the face.

We are totally prepared to homeschool or do private school. We don't want to but we'll do it if we need to.

I don't know if bringing more data and articles would do any good.

How did he do in his fourth grade math acceleration this year?

Do you live in a state that has laws or regulations regarded gifted children (e.g. Pennsylvania mandates gifted IEPs)?

If they're tossing out random slippery-slope reasons, it may be that they've just made up their minds for reasons unknown to you.

(What is so horrible about accelerating other children if they need it? How is this different from letting other kids move more slowly in special ed?)

NO! If this is working for your son, the principal is giving you hair-brained excuses. I'm a teacher as well.

We accelerated my son by only a grade level as a starting point this year. It was a slow process because our principal wanted clear-cut data and a process laid out that would support our decision (I feared appearing like I was being accommodated because I teach there as well) so that when others asked for the same, a process was in place.

I would suggest keeping the conversation alive. I can share our district process for acceleration with you if you'd like. (I don't have the flow chart handy at home, but can scan and e-mail it later.) PUSH PUSH PUSH . . . not only for your son, but for every kid who deserves this!!!

It is RIDICULOUS to ask your son to go back and do a lower grade when he has completed and, I assume, performed well at a higher grade. "Gaps" tend to be a nonissue for these kids. Any potential issues can easily be remedied by involved parenting and appropriate, differentiated teaching, which every child is entitled to (but, I know, doesn't always get).

One last thought, have you seen the Iowa Acceleration Scale? Might be something to look at and present if you think it will help and hasn't been done already.

That principal is failing not only your son, but his entire school, if he so easily looks past and turns his back on ensuring that ALL students are appropriately challenged.

Sort of. Our situation has been with the school saying they don`t consider reports from privately hired psychologist (no matter how qualified) to be valid because they`re not "medical doctors" and yet the school district has an in-house psychologist who does assessments (which presumably they consider valid). In our case it's all about funding and a paper trail but it's equally as exasperating.

I wonder if this is because they have had experience with privately hired psychologists coming to the conclusion that they should be doing something differently. So then they have their in-house psychologist (who of course has no conflict of interest say they're doing everything they should and (fill in the blank--it's your fault for not parenting correctly; your kid has x, y, and/or z disorder and shouldn't be at that school, etc.). But it doesn't make any sense to say they accept the opinion of one and not the other psychologist without a credible reason...such as differing qualifications, for example, in which case I would suspect the private one is more likely to 'win.' Surely there is someone somewhere in this bureaucracy who realizes this is a transparent effort to avoid providing reasonable accommodations. Or there should be. I think maybe schools shouldn't be allowed to rely on in-house psychologists, since there seems to be a pattern of misuse, or at least enough individual anecdotes to make me believe that there is.

I wonder if some schools don't take outside testing because they believe that paying for testing gets the parents the results they want.

OK, we've had a lot of progress in the past few days. I once read on this website somewhere, that the teachers who "get it" the most are not necessarily the ones trained in gifted education (of which there are zero at my son's school). It's the ones with gifted children themselves. So, I recalled a conversation that I had a few months ago with someone on staff, who has a HG child. I sought her help (she carries a lot of weight at the school) and she is on it! She has helped me a great deal and she has become my advocate! We have another meeting scheduled and she will be with me. So, we are still pressing forward.

Awesome!! Good luck!

Maybe a little off-topic, but here is an interesting criticism of the newly-released DSM-5, including (about half-way through) a discussion of how for at least some disorders there appears to be significant chance of getting different diagnoses from different psych people:

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887323716304578481222760113886.html

So I don't know what the answer is to which psych to believe, except the one that is best for your kid. But it does seem to be an area of great uncertainty, even among experts.

I think it can go both ways--some schools use their psych as a rubber stamp for just what they want to do, but some parents find psychs who will say whatever (all those high schoolers suddenly diagnosed with whatever gets them extended testing time, etc). Mostly I figure just try to help the kids as much as possible, without the politics! Sigh.

Eastcoast, that is GREAT!

Lame principal.

This is the whole "You're the Only One Who's Complaining, therefore It's Not a Complaint" syndrome. . . which shuts down communications between schools and parents.

Nip the first one in the bud, and you've killed having to deal with that whole rotten tree!

That's fantastic. You'll have a school employee speaking edu-speak on your child's behalf. Just make sure you two are on the same page before the meeting as to your thoughts and goals. Bring evidence (like returned work from the 4th grade class).

We've shared the same experience. The teachers who see themselves or their own children in my children have been great blessings. They have been our most effective source of advocacy.

More progress. We are now back to our original plan to accelerate to 5th grade math next year while DS is in 2nd grade. Our advocate teacher did a fantastic job. The principal and DS current teacher are still unsupportive - but they are going to do it anyway. It would be nice if they were supportive but they are not ready to be that way yet. So we will take what we can get.

I don't like being seen as the pushy parent but I guess that's who we are going to have to be to get results.

Similar problem. Principal would only accelerate MC if he could pass a proficiency test in math for the next grade. He didn't give MC the book until 1.5 days before the test. MC aced it. Now the principal refuses to show the test to MC's mom. He has now created another hurdle; do 1300 pages of math problems over the summer, then we'll consider MC off advancing the math program for him.

We do not know if there is any recourse. Advice?

Jeff0616

Having the teacher advocate for your child is huge. My bet is that you won't have to push hard for too long-- once they see your child happy and succeeding in the new placement, those who were reluctant will probably get on board. (After all, it does tend to raise their test scores to have kids working at their capability level.)

We have seen over the years more and more buy-in, more and more recognition of what our kid needs and what he can do. For us, it has gotten easier, and we have to push less. (Still have to organize, but not push as much.)

Congrats,
DeeDee