Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Made the decision to homeschool - advice needed

So, after I hit the wrong button on my computer and deleted this post once, I will try again.

We are going to homeschool DGS7. We are going to try the free virtual K12 charter school in our state, at least for a while. I think they will be able to address his advanced learning needs while we still get the special services, like language training, that he needs with the AS, free of charge. It is not a perfect solution, but it is the best option at this point in our world. Also, being able to say his teacher assigned the work may make it a little easier. We will see.

I need advice on how to differentiate his giftedness and his AS. The Dev Ped says ADHD, ODD, SPD, and maybe CAPD and thinks he will outgrow the AS! Both psychs said no ADHD or it was subclinical to the AS! His OT sees AS and SPD, but not CAPD or ADHD. I think we need a multidisciplinary approach - can anyone recommend one? I have talked to the GDC in Denver several times, but am not sure if that is where we want to go. They do address kids spiritual questions, though and DGS has many deep spiritual questions.

We have had the paperwork for the charter school done for a while as our state requires all open transfers done in March. The decision was not actually made until yesterday. I spoke with his 1st grade teacher over the weekend, away from the school setting. Just like the principal, she couldn't recommend a good homeroom teacher for 2nd grade. His current teacher is extremely talented and flexible and tried to teach the paraprofessionals, speech therapists, etc, how to talk to DGS and how to teach him. I need a whole school full of teachers like her!

Short story - our local school cannot provide for him, and we are going to be even more frustrated if he stays. He has no friends, never gets asked to play and just doesn't get the whole social thing. The school has provided virtually no effective language or social training, although they technically meet the law.

OTOH, he made straight A's despite doing very little homework and missing a lot of school due to health issues. He made up 2 weeks worth of testing in 2 days on average. His teacher didn't make him do all the papers - he didn't need to. The school says he is bright, not gifted, but his teacher sees what we see and doesn't care what the tests say about his iq.

Sorry for the long post! TIA for any advice,
leahchris

So that's speech/language therapy? What other therapies, if any, do you have going for DGS?


That's an interesting thing to say. Does this dev ped see a lot of people with AS?

Not to be a downer, but AS is considered a lifelong deal. One does not typically "outgrow" autism. One learns to live with it and develops coping skills over time.

I find this a useful reading on this topic, and my DS10 who has AS finds this approach helpful, too: http://jerobison.blogspot.com/2013/01/can-we-outgrow-autism.html

Do you have a behavior therapist (BCBA, board certified behavior analyst)? I would really recommend ABA therapy for learning social skills. Getting it started is a big job, but there are huge payoffs for getting and practicing these skills.

IMO the main reason so many people with AS are unemployed is that regardless of how good the academic skills are, social skills and life skills and problem-solving skills are also crucial to holding a job. In your shoes, I'd be looking to spend a reasonable but not excessive amount of time on academics, and pour the rest into helping him learn these other skills.

HTH,
DeeDee

My approach to cut through the "checklist" diagnoses and the subjective evaluations was to work with a practice that does what NIMH is now promoting rather than simply relying on the DSM symptom lists. Specifically we are working with a Neuro Psychiatrist who uses brain imaging through SPECT analysis which shows areas of the brain that are over or under stimulated (based on blood flow and activity). They have been doing this for decades and easily recognize patterns for the various neurological issues.

SEEING pictures of my son's brain patterns helped me be confident in his "true" and accurate diagnosis. We flew to another city to get this evaluation but we have found it more than worth the effort and cost to avoid being left wondering about the veracity. We worked with the Amen Clinics even though there were others who could do it since Dr. Amen has done quite a bit of the pioneering work with SPECT scans in psychiatric practice.

One of the hidden strengths of virtual schools for 2e kids is that you CAN spend only 2h a day on 'academics' and then spend the bulk of the "instructional" time on other kinds of learning-- whatever your child's second exceptionality seems to require.

This is a thing which is really hard to explain to anyone that doesn't have a 2e child, but it's HUGE.

It's probably THE reason why, as bad as Connections has sometimes been w/r/t fit (and it has-- you may want to prepare yourself by reading some of my rants about what Pearson and Co feel is "effective assessment practice." Ugh.); we are still with them after seven years.

It leaves plenty of time for the other stuff that my DD has to learn in order to live with her disability and differences, and also provides a route to reasonably good acceleration/compacting opportunities.

Oh, and the exposure to a variety of teacher styles-- something that I could never provide her as a homeschooler going it alone.


Best wishes with K12!

DeeDee, Thanks for the link. It was very interesting. Also, DGS is in OT, vision therapy and counseling. My DS's Medicaid is paying for those, thankfully, as we live in a rural area and our school is not so great at actually providing services.

HowlerKarma, I always enjoy your insights. And yes, a good deal of our instructional time will be spent on social skills in small group settings, like Cub Scouts, and also learning to transition from one activity to another and especially in social situations.
Also, we can spend time on life skills, like problem solving and time management. Oh, and why we NEED to expend effort, especially when something is hard - the school would let him run to the resource room every time he got even a little stressed.

Thanks to everyone. I am encouraged. DGS is out of school for the summer as of yesterday and is so relaxed today without the stress of school! We are going to let him relax and decompress for a few weeks, and then we are doing day camp.

leahchris

I have been lurking on this site for a long time and have never posted, so I am not sure if this is where I should be posting, but here goes...

Leahchris, how is your experience homeschooling with the k12 public option going this year? I found out about the option in my state last week and am seriously considering it for my ds 7.5. I keep telling myself that I am crazy to even consider it...

My ds is in 2nd grade with an IEP and diagnosis of ASD, ADHD and DCD. Writing is an extreme challenge for him. He is also extremely bright and loves to learn. Thus far, we have focused on remediating his deficits. Since he was 3 he has received a host of therapies, including ABA, OT, PT, speech, social skills group and most recently VT.

We live in a rural area with no schooling options available to us. We have been fortunate that our school is extremely small, although class size is around 22, and supportive of our DS. However, resources are lacking. For example, his IEP calls for a classroom aide, which he had in kindergarten and 1st, but this year has not been in the classroom with him. To my ds credit he has been "getting through" the day. However, we want more for him than to simply "get through" his day. He has to have a screaming meltdown on the car ride home and is worn out. I did not realize until this year how much the "idea" of homework at the end of the day was stressing him out until this year on the day he didn't have any. He was so giddy and less stressed. After that I changed to a "morning review" for homework. The work isn't hard, except for spelling, just a challenge to sit down/get started and write. It is less than last year and primarily math.

Why am I considering k12 public option? He will still be able to receive spec ed services thru his school, OT and speech (for pragmatic issues and social skills one-on-one with another student). A classroom with 20+ students is not his ideal learning environment. My DH and I would like to build his self-esteem now (we saw a definite slip last year). We kind of feel like we are pounding a square peg in a round hole and saying, "Well, it kind of fits?!" Also, I am hoping it would provide me with an opportunity to work more on social and life-long skills. This is a big reason!

He is in cub scouts (I am assistant den leader), receives VT privately, we just started, and is in a social skills group once-a-month during the school year (weekly with ABA during the summer).

It has bothered me wondering if I am doing him a disservice by not focusing on his "need" to learn and explore, to delve deeper and ask/answer more questions. I have told myself that we have the weekends and summer to do that.

Sorry! I realize this is quite rambling and long. DH and I are going to have to make a decision on the k12 public option early this week, and I am really in turmoil. I love this site and although I haven't posted I highly value the input, experience and information users provide...thank you! Many evenings after DS has gone to bed this site has been a wonderful support.

Any input/thoughts would be greatly appreciated! Thank you.

quinn17

Just wanted to update...we did decide to try the public option k12 and the school has agreed to it. Getting them to agree was a stressful ordeal! Thank you to all the teachers, principals and staff that advocate for our children!

My ds will receive spec ed services on Tues/Thur afternoons at the school. The structure of the public option k12 is a good thing in our situation. I am scared but also so excited to at least try it!

All positive thoughts appreciated! I will update on how it is going in case someone else is considering the same option.

Fingers crossed!

quinn17

Quinn -

So sorry your post got lost in the flurry of start of the school year dramas and no one had the opportunity to welcome you to the group! Sounds like you have worked out a great option. Spec ed services 2 afternoons a week sounds awesome. Please keep us posted on your progress - and welcome aboard!

I'll be interested to hear your experience, and I'm glad you were able to get permission!

Quinn, we've been with a different virtual charter for 8y at this point-- my DD will be graduating this year.

I really hope that this turns out to be a great solution to your family's needs.