Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy What would you do if you were me ?

Is IEP provided only for children with disability ? Does that mean the child is eligible to have IEP when he or she is having learning problems ? What if they don't have learning problem ? Will the school then just dismiss the request ?

So sorry for all the question .

DS had behavior problems last fall and winter, in large part because he was incredibly unchallenged and no one at school seemed capable of doing anything about it. Ultimately we asked the school to do a comprehensive evaluation, which included IQ and academic tests speech, reading, and writing evaluations; hearing and vision tests; and questionnaires and observations to look for other problems. Initially we were met with resistance, as DS didn't have an academic problem. But we pointed out that the fact he was spending so much time in the principal's office warranted some action by the school.

I don't know if you can just request an IEP without the school doing some sort of testing (or getting test results from an outside professional). A 504 might be a better first step, but I am far from being an expert in this.

eta: jaylivg, I PM'd you a few days ago.

Without a diagnosis or the suspicion that one is forthcoming, that is correct. Now, they can't IGNORE the request for evaluation... but the evaluation may not be very long if there is nothing in particular going on that suggests a particular direction to turn.

I am sorry your son is having such a difficult year, honestly, it sounds like a hellish year and I hope you both make it to the end with sanity intact.

That being said, rather then email the teacher, I would talk to your son about the boy who cried wolf.

In all honesty, he may not have said the offensive remark and it is completely unfair that he is being punished for it, but given the fact that he seems to understand that misbehaving is a choice and has decided to continuously misbehave in school (whether it be out of frustration or stress), he has inadvertently put a gigantic target on his own head.

No matter what happens, whenever he denies it, he is probably not going to be believed and will most likely be punished for it.

Trust me, the other kids know this and will be even more likely to blame him for things.

He is in a horrible catch 22 right now.

I would sit down with him and explain the boy who cried wolf analogy so that he understands why this is happening and explain to him that he has to really buckle down, make better choices to try to fly below the radar to get through the rest of the school year.

I am afraid that the two of you are probably not going to be able to change anything right now and are stuck in survival mode.

I agree with this. DS has a bit of a reputation for misbehaving now, and his classmates know it. I have seen other kids accuse him of doing something that I know he didn't do (I spent a few recesses at school to try to figure out what kinds of trouble DS was getting into). While I'm sure the playground monitors try to be fair, there is no doubt that when presented with a story from kids who are generally well-behaved versus DS, DS will not come out ahead. And this just makes DS angry and more apt to lash out.

This depends on your state/school district. In Texas you can get an IEP based on a few things besides academic problems, such as emotional problems, or autism. You could, in Texas, argue for an IEP based on extreme anxiety, for example. You wouldn't likely be very successful in getting acceleration or differentiation out of that though... more like counseling, designated quiet times, etc.

Some states allow for GIEPs (gifted ieps) in which the child can get an IEP specifically for academic help, even though the child is gifted and not behind in school.

Why do you feel that raising his voice is justified ? Maybe the other kid feels anxious, when someone raises their voice (you never know). I think I would try and teach him, to raise his hand, quietly approach the teacher and say what is on his mind.



This depends on what you have decided for next year. Have you decided to change schools or give 3rd grade a chance ? Or, perhaps, homeschool ? If you plan to stay in the school, you should perhaps do whatever you can, to mold your son into the behavior that the school is expecting. For what it is worth, I think the school is being very nit-picky and perhaps targeting your son. As others have said, once a pattern is established, it is very hard to change it

If you plan to change schools or homeschool, I would ask for a meeting with the teacher and principal, and discuss in detail what is going on, and how it is affecting your son/your family. Ask the teacher for advice. If she gives the vibe that she dislikes your kid, I would pull him out for next year.


As far as your questions on 504 or IEP, for a 504, you need a medical disability that affects your son's education. So, for that, you would need a diagnosis from a doctor. As HowlerKarma said, they cannot deny you the evaluation, but it may not translate into a IEP.

I really think you have to ask yourself some questions. Is your son more impulsive than others in his age/grade group ? Do you think a break from his current school will help ? Were his other grades (1st, 2nd, kindy, preschool) problem free ? If there are recurring issues that sound almost the same/that are the same, I would start learning more. If it is just the age and probably poor decision making when it comes to behavior/consequences, role model as much as possible, and also enroll him in social skills groups/camps over the summer.

It sounds like a horrible year. I hope it ends/subsides for you.

Just pm'ed you too .