Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Careless Mistakes?

Hi everyone, haven't been on here in a while (new baby in the house!), but I always trust your collective wisdom on issues with my ds, so here I am again. Hopefully now that yds is sleeping more I can visit the forum more often!

So ds is nearly through 3rd grade now. The year started out pretty well. He was accelerated a grade for math and entered the gifted program. He has been doing great (at least until recently) in those areas, but has been resisting regular classroom work more and more. What worry me are two things really. One is that his love of learning (at least at school) seems to be diminishing. He tells me now that school is boring and he already knows everything they teach him, and that is gets frustrated waiting for other students to finish. His teacher is of the mindset that this experience prepares you for life, we all have to do things we don't want to do or that we find dull and so it is a lifeskill. While I see her point, it makes me sad to see him lose some of his enthusiasm as a result. He has also begun passively resisting by hurrying through things, not listening to instructions well, not writing in a very detailed manner (which, due to fine motor skill issues, is hard for him anyways). She says he needs to work on his writing and listening skills (I want to say, how about you work on being more interesting and giving him interesting things to write about! lol) and his grades are declining. He does great, though, when it is a project that he finds interesting (just got an A+ on a habitat research project and diorama) But now, this week, he came home with a C+ on a math test, which has never happened before. He told me that he understood the material but made careless mistakes. They were also allowed to correct the exam, but he misunderstood and thought they were supposed to do it at home instead of in class so he lost his chance to do that. His is accelerated to 4th grade math, but I have thought for a while that might not be enough. I actually think the problem is that they just teach 3rd graders 4th grade math, at the same pace just a year ahead. He would be better suited to a much faster pace.

So, I have pretty much written off this school year since there's only a month left. Just trying to figure out what I do next year. I have no control over what kind of teacher he gets and I am basically worried that we are starting to lose him. Private school and homeschooling are not really financially feasible, but I don't know if the public school is going to be able to provide for him (it is so dependent on the teacher!)

Any advice would be much appreciated. I am thinking I might lay my cards on the table with the gifted teacher and see if I can get her assistance (I think she may be able to influence the teacher selection). Also, I am thinking of actually doing some testing this summer, just to get some insights on what his needs are. He does not present in the traditional "good student" kind of ways and he has spd and I don't know how much that interferes. So I basically don't know if I have a mildly gifted kid who may just need some minor accommodations or a more highly gifted kid who is being more significantly hampered by the spd and perhaps some other issues.

Sorry for the length. This is one of the few places where I can talk about these concerns. My biggest concern is that he doesn't seem terribly upset about school. It is more of a resignation that this is what school and learning has become and it is no longer fun and interesting. He also feels like he is not smart because he has difficulty with things that require the fine motor skills like rocket math and extended periods of writing.

Thanks for listening!

I think testing would be a good idea just for clarity on what's up. You mentioned fine motor issues, for example. I'd want to know if the issues you're seeing are simply developmental or if they are due to a disability that will continue to impact your ds as he progresses through school and through life. If it's not something that's going to resolve on it's own through maturing, your ds will benefit from starting on accommodations (or remediation) *now* rather than later on. One note - you mentioned the "careless" mistakes on the math test. If it's a one time thing, it's probably nothing. Even if it's an all-time thing maybe it's nothing. But fwiw, making "careless" mistakes on math work is one of my dysgraphic ds' biggest challenges with schoolwork - his dysgraphia causes him to switch numbers around accidentally and make mistakes when copying from one line to the next in his work.

Testing might also show you that there are issues causing or related to the SPD behaviors - that happened with our dd11 who went through therapy for SPD at 4 (which helped some)... only to find out a few years later that the real issue was something very different.

Best wishes,

polarbear

Thanks polarbear, you've affirmed my thoughts that perhaps it time for some testing. Who diagnoses dysgraphia? Would an OT do that? Or a neuropsych? FWIW, I don't think the careless mistakes sound like what you describe with your son. I think he is getting bored and isn't reading the questions closely enough. Which concerns me because math was always the one subject he did not find dull at school (at least now that he's been accelerated). I do have concerns about his writing though which his OT also found troubling but when she tested him he was in the normal range. This was last year in 2nd grade and when I brought it up to the teacher she did not feel he had a problem with writing. However, the rocket math exercises are a big challenge for him and he will actively resist writing a lot, will short hand, not put in enough detail, and I wonder how much of this might be due to discomfort with the physical act of writing rather than being able to put words together in his head.

Dysgraphia is diagnosed by a neuropsych.

That's what I thought. Thanks!

A little update: I spoke to DS's math teacher for an hour on Friday and was both immensely relieved and frustrated. Relieved because, while I knew she was good, I had no idea just how fantastic she was. She teaches accelerated math (4th grade curriculum) but sincerely differentiates beyond that with the goal that every student is challenged appropriately. And she said DS is mostly focused and on task in her class. I was very happy to hear that, but then SO sad because I truly believe that ds would be flourishing in her class as homeroom rather than checking out like he is in his own class. At least he has her for an hour a day, though, and after discussing some of the issues he's having in homeroom, she offered to touch base with his teacher to see if she could help.