Just to update you all - things are much better! Thank you all for your help... I couldn't have gotten through it without all of you on this board!
A combination of retaining a lawyer and involving the Assistant Superintendent seem to do the trick. I think I mentioned already in the previous thread that I really started getting somewhere when I cancelled the IEP meeting so that we could accommodate the schedule of our lawyer. School seemed keen to avoid bringing in lawyers if possible so I said I was willing to proceed without a lawyer only if the communication barrier were lifted in writing. The barrier was lifted in writing by the assist. superintendent.
In the meantime, found a woman who looks to be a fab educational law lawyer who has won more than one case within our district and is on the board of COPAA (
http://www.copaa.org/) etc. I interviewed her and we chatted about the situation and what I need. She told me the whole communication barrier instituted by the principal was illegal. We agreed I need to keep someone like her on retainer to go to for advice and if something like the 'communication barrier' happens again she can jump right in to help put a stop to it. She already knew of the players and seemed to know the field, if you will, and even told me to watch out for Special Ed Dir (apparently she can turn very nasty). I like this attorney a lot.
So, in response to the communication barrier lifted I sent around the following email:
Thank you so much, Assist. Superintendent. DH and I deeply appreciate your concern and involvement. I am carbon copying both Ms. Spec. Ed Support Teacher and Ms. Regular Ed Teacher so that they are aware that they may feel free to communicate with DH and me via email and to respond to our email communications regarding DS and his day to day progress, issues, concerns, homework, etc.
Please be advised also that we have retained an attorney with whom we can consult regularly and who can assist with future issues such as this one. Her name is Ms. _____, you may be familiar with her work. Pursuant to our phone discussions with Ms. Special ED Dir. over the weekend, DH and I do feel comfortable at this point moving ahead with our IEP meeting on Tuesday at 8:00 am without our attorney present now that there is clear confirmation in writing that the communication barrier between us, the parents, and our son's teachers mandated by Mr. Principal has been lifted. However, Ms. Attorney agrees that such a communication barrier was indeed illegal in the first place. Please be advised also that Ms. Attorney will be reviewing the agreement for vision therapy services so we will not be able to sign the vision therapy agreement at tomorrow's meeting.
DH and I look forward to see everyone on tomorrow at 8:00 am. Thank you so very much.
Well, let me tell you the meeting went very well. I feel so much better. Not one person accused me of enabling my DS's disability, not one person even remotely made a case that DS doesn't need accommodations, not one person said anything along those lines at all or anything offensive. Everyone was nice and the Agreement for the Vision Therapy looks like a totally different agreement - much better! I still need Attorney to look at it though
I feel a huge weight lifted.
So, I do believe things will be good for a number of months now ... I think we are in good shape for next year. At the meeting we even talked about getting DS involved in using some Assistive Technology next year like an IPad... He is becoming familiar with the keyboard at home now doing computer games, etc. I am also hoping this new intensive therapy I have him doing for the next 6 months will also yield some significant improvements so that next year will be even better.
Thank you all!