Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy How normal is this ?

My son sleeps in almost every class. He finishes his work and then puts his head down and falls asleep, he says to keep from getting in trouble. Sadly, when he used to work on personal projects like sketching new maps for Minecraft, he got in trouble for not being in task. But when he sleeps, they leave him alone.

It is part of why I fought for seven years to get him appropriate placement.

I hope you can find a better fit. That is mind numbingly depressing to spend that much time every day waiting.

That's a good idea , i might try it . Heck i don't care about how the teacher feels , to be honest with you , i am quite dissapointed with how she handles things with DS . Esp. turning DS into a someone who thinks that he's that bad of a kid , turning him into someone who used to love school so much into someone who thinks " maybe homeschool is better for me mom , because i don't get in trouble that way "

I will get some books for him to work on at school and will give him incentives . Thank you for the idea !

Yes it is very depressing , and it does effect our whole family . I wake up feeling grumpy and i wonder why , i know why now .. it's because of the school ! I couldn't imagine being in DS shoes .. and having to go through this every single day . Even for adults , that much time spent on waiting is a long time .

If your son is coming home with homework, another option would be for him to work on that during his available class time. Then he gets all his time at home back... win.

I totally get your situation and I feel for you - believe me!!! I've mentioned before in other posts that it seems to me that DD9 has lost some of her "spark". She used to be so excited about everything new and wanted to know about everything. This has caused me to often wonder if the test results were off, or if maybe she is just really pretty normal and we are just seeing what we want to see in her and I really hate that. I don't know if the loss of her "spark" is just her maturing, her trying to blend in with the other kids, or if school is just sucking the life out of her. We only get one shot in life to do the right thing and I constantly doubt that I'm doing enough or the right things for both my girls. It can be so hard sometimes to see the "big picture". We just have to keep trying and try different things, and as you probably know - what works one day may not work the next.

I guess we just have to hope, pray and keep the faith! And if that doesn't work bribe them with ice cream or a puppy....lol!

jaylivg, re your question of "is this normal", it would not have been normal in my children's elementary schools. Up through second grade (and even beyond) it is not unusual for children to be high energy and like to move, and most of the seat work my kids teachers gave out never lasted for more than 20 minutes at a time total. The was a lot of group interaction, moving around, talking, sharing ideas, doing active project work. My kids have been in three different element arty schools and even the most traditional school where children did a lot of sitting at their desks and were expected to be quiet the assignments given out did for individual work were not intended to last for more than 20 minutes total at a time without breaks to look up, talk about something, stretch etc. the other thing that happened consistently in each school and classroom is that the teachers had some type of structure around what kids should do if they finish early.

It sounds like you have a situation where your ds has been consistently finishing his work quickly since he started school, he most likely needs more challenge, and he doesn't have a good teacher fit this year. There might be other students who are having similar issues; they might be obviously goofing off or they might be sitting quietly bored but not be the type of kid who is going to show it to the world. It might help to check around with other parents to see if this teacher in particular is causing other families stress.

I'm on my iPad..... And running out of patience for typing on the danged thing! So I'm going to. Have to finish my reply later.... but I just wanted to let you ow re your OP that no, waiting 30 minutes or longer hasn't been our experience even with my very very fast working gifted kids.

polarbear

My son currently has enough downtime in the day to construct elaborate paper ... things... for himself and other students. Masks, sculptures, fake weapons and armor, building, etc. He also reads, draws, writes stories and still somehow has time to talk excessively, all while having a 100 average in most classes.

Yes you're right , i'm sorry , i get so frustrated with his teacher and a lot of times i just don't care about her anymore . And i shouldn't be like that , since she is his teacher , he sees her more than he sees me daily , it upsets me that things just don't change to the better instead it's just been going downhill and it effects every member of the family .

I will talk with her about this idea , hopefully she'll let him .

1frugalmom ,

Yes that's probably the word i was looking .. he seems like he's lost that too . Right now we're just taking one day at a time , and hope for the better , and we're praying , i am sure there is got to be a way to make things work .

epoh ,

It's amazing , isn't it ? you think with all the things they do in class after finishing their assignments or tests , then read then being creative , creating anything he could possibly think of using very minimal items .. yet they still find a way to talk and yes doing well with grades too .

Polarbear ,

You see , the chart that i get from school , it mentions :
- power up 8.30-9.25
- specials 9.25-10.15
- language arts 10.15-12.20
-recess 12.20-12.50
-lunch 12.50-1.25
-math 1.25-3.00
-scie/ss 3.00-3.30

So , during those time whether it's an hour or more , it seems like every subject lasts more than an hour anyway , teacher gives instruction , explaining , teaching new things , then the children are given the assignments to work on what they just learned , am i right ? Now between the time the children started working on the assignments until the class ends and moving to another subject , according to DS , he has to wait that long between 30-45 minutes . Him and another girl always finish first , and the girl always reads reads and reads . Teacher has no problem at all with her , but not with our DS . DS brought books too but unfortunately he calls himself 'not street smart ' because obviously he still talks and causing problems , all the while still reading or writing or drawing or creating something .

I guess it's probably not a good fit between him and teacher .

Well, on the one hand, I can see why this is a problem from the teacher's perspective; after all, a child who is talking to others during 'quiet' seat-work time for the class is interfering with other students' learning.

But it does seem a bit much to place all of the responsibility for this on the shoulders of a young child. After all, he is FINISHED with his work, and has demonstrated clear mastery. (In case you might think I'm not sympathetic here, I was this kid... the "talker" who was done-done-done before everyone else; so I understand completely what your DS is up against in terms of his own nature.)

Obviously there is something the teacher is completely missing here, because the teacher SHOULD be giving your DS something to do which meets her need for classroom control and HIS need to be engaged while in that classroom.

As a stop-gap measure, can you brainstorm some "quiet" ways for him to spend time that won't distract his classmates? Maybe by asking him why he thinks this other classmate doesn't seem to "get into trouble" with the teacher, even though she finishes early as well?

Then present that list to the teacher? Maybe if you presented this as "ideas to improve {DS} behavior and have him learn to support his classmates' learning" or some such thing? (Yes, I know, it's sucking up... a little... but if it improves things, is that such a horrible thing?)