Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion coping with desire to hoard

Sadly, I probably need more than one! I can admit I have this issue (as well as many others) and I'm working on it...lol!!!

I guess? When I thought about it, I realized that she does actually look at her old notebooks and workbooks from K, 1 and 2. I know she does because I see them taken out. She also looks at Valentines (see, I'm not so bad--I have let her keep all her valentines every year, from preschool on!) and old cards. So, some of it she does look at. The building creations may be different because they aren't associated with a relationship? It's funny because the child has a memory of an elephant...she remembers her pre-K classmates perfectly already...

This is just another example of a way in which DD and I really differ. I really get wanting to keep special projects, letters from friends, but I cannot understand keeping a fractions worksheet. It doesn't help, I think, that this is a sore spot with DH and I about HIS stuff. (HIs thing is usually, "I might need it someday." He isn't sentimental. It's about...what if?) And I live in fear of the day we have to clean out his mother's house...

I'm guilty of this, too, and I'd totally let go of it except that there have been too many times where I'd been right. Besides, there's something hormonally rewarding about cannibalizing otherwise worthless junk, repurposing other things, and solving a complex problem for free. Improvise, adapt, overcome.... oooh rahhh!

But yeah, every once in a while, it is necessary to look through that junk again, because clearly some of those things that get saved end up obsolete. I'm pretty sure I won't need those extra phone cords anymore... but then again, they'd do as a pretty strong rope in a pinch...

Dude you crack me up. We moved house something like 10 times with DHs crates of precious cables, including two lightbulbs on the end of extension cords. And every time I tried to ditch them he would say "But we'll need them one day..." and sure enough we moved into a house with an under house storage area - no floor, just dirt, no lights, but a power point. And DH had light in there while the removalists were still moving boxes around... And a very smug expression on his face... He has managed to part with some truly ancient tech in recent years...

Cool....removalists...we say movers...I like removalists so much better and am going to start using that.

I just throw the stuff out when she is not home. I keep a folder of the past 3 months of stuff, which always appears full. One day she might figure it out, hopefully she won't care as much by then. I also throw away toys and small stuff without her permission or knowledge. She hasn't missed anything yet. I just can't let her collect at the pace she would like or we would be on a reality tv series by now. I do keep really special stuff (either special to her or to me). I put that stuff in a storage box in the basement.

Kelly, just FTR, that is what I used to do with some things. But DD had been seeing stuff in the recycling and had caught on that things disappeared. She was holding on to a HUGE amount of anger and resentment about this, as it turns out--she felt disrepected and belittled by it but for whatever reason did not say anything for a long time. I don't know how old your DD is or whether she is likely to feel this way, but I now feel bad about the fact that I was still throwing some things out without her knowledge. I also thought she didn't miss the items. DD is an unusual child with a massive memory, but then, we are on this board, so.

Try Artsonia.com for artwork. You can put everything out there for free and also share it with far away relatives. They have an app where you can upload photos of all the artwork.

If hoarding is an anxiety-based behavior, I don't see how secretly throwing things out is likely to help. You're going to get caught eventually.

Yes, that's my point. I mean, there is probably a threshold, and some things really will never be noticed, but it's unlikely that you won't eventually get busted.

DD did her first sort of schoolwork the other day. She kept about a third of two weeks of work. Gulp. I saw some logic to her choices, but this won't be sustainable for long. At least, to me it doesn't seem that way. I've been having this discussion with other parents and am amazed by the number who do say, "Oh, I keep everything." EVERYTHING??