Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Elementary School maturity/social/anxiety

I have a gifted boy born premature by 2 months. He is in a G&T kindergarten because that 2 months turn out to make him on the December cut off to start.

He is very social, but has a hard time starting conversations with other kids and "fitting in." They are older of course. He refuses to do activities that involve those skills like "theater" and gym class. He has friends but no close friends at school.

He also has had a bout of meltdowns at school (not at home) and wee his pants a bunch of times during the same time frame (again not at home.)
When asked to do work he takes his good old time and is not very assertive.(again not at home.)

What do and have other parents done to help kids who are so advanced reading and doing math etc, but are so immature. I tend to think mostly nature is at work here. But I don't want to overlook any thing that will cause even more problems down the line.

anyone?

What's the opinions of the teacher?

DS' current preschool teacher, preschool director, and the elementary school principle are all suggesting to hold him back a year due to his immaturity.

The teacher says his academic ability is well beyond his age, but his emotional ability isn’t.

Yeti & HelloBaby, do either of your school districts offer any kind of G/T assistance/programs/enrichment? Holding a gifted child back due to "immaturity" just doesn't sound right to me. My DS5 has also been labeled as "immature" by his teacher. Luckly, my school district does mandatory G/T testing which he passed with very high marks. They have a special G/T only school which he will attend next school year so we are very grateful for that. Good luck ladies!

You have to go to a court to red shirt in NY.

Tried to switch to private but it was too late for next year. The have a Sept cut off.

"Red Shirt"? I'm not familiar with this term.

It's a term that originates in college football, where a player is held out of games a full year and given an extra year of eligibility to play. They could still work out and practice with the team, where they were identified with a red mesh over-shirt.

Applied to little kindergarteners, it refers to those kids held back a year by their parents, and enrolled at the age of 6.

I wonder if the term immature may start things off on the wrong foot. As with gifted kids it may be more overexcitibilities and asynchronous development ( http://www.sengifted.org/archives/articles/overexcitability-and-the-gifted )

In pre-school my son would play oddly or not at all with other kids and do his own thing sometimes during story time and sometimes get really emotional over seemingly trivial things. Sounds immature.

But what was really going on:
-> He was wanting to play more engaged complex things and the other kids were wanting to do parallel play.
-> At story time, the teachers were reading books a couple years behind where his comprehension level was.
-> They would emphasize letter learning, when he could sight read hundreds of words.
-> He had (still does) a strong sense of fairness and justice and will have strong reactions when those are violated, which seems to happen when other kids don't have the same understanding; and adults have standard responses for typical kids that age.
-> And yes when he gets emotional, he gets intensely emotional; just as when he thinks, he thinks intensely; when he focuses, he focuses intensely.

Take a regular eight year old and treat them and talk to them like a four year old day in and day out for a few months and ???

I was even told not to stress too much on academics as it will further widen the gap between his academic and emotional ability.

Yeti, I'm not so sure I'd worry about your ds having friends but no close friends at school - one of my kids had super-close buddies at that age, the other two didn't, and now later on in their lives they are all doing well socially and have close friends; I think some of what you're seeing could simply be age as well as perhaps not a good match among school buddies. I also wouldn't worry too much about him taking his time to do his work... it's not like he's making a paycheck and has a deadline looming, and he's got quite a few years before college applications, so he's going to be ok

Have you asked the teacher specifically what is happening or what has been going on before the meltdowns at school? Are there any common triggers?

I think the one piece of advice I'd have is to not assume the meltdowns are caused simply because of gifted behaviors (boredom or asynchronicity etc). There may be something going on at school unrelated to his academic abilities that is really bothering him - could be anything from an activity he's challenged with or doesn't like to do a classmate that is bullying him to a teacher who is unkind. I'd even look at things like does it happen after snack, what is he eating etc. Look for anything that seems to be common between the episodes. Also don't assume that simply because it's a G&T kindergarten that the teachers really understand G&T kids.

Best wishes,

polarbear

OH boy.

Well, fundamentally misunderstanding of what HG/HG+ kids are, there...

are you supposed to put your child in a sensory deprivation chamber? Limit his access to enrichment at home? Keep him from reading?