Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Just sharing DD6's feelings on 2E DS8

Hi,

It's been a long time since I've been here ... I just want to share with you what happened last evening when I was giving a hug to my little DD6 before she went to bed (well she was 5 last night and 6 today ...).
DD6 : I love you with all my heart daddy
ME : So do I !
DD6 : And I love Mummy with all my heart, and even my brother (who is 2E, dyslexic, dyscalculia, ADD and high IQ).
Silence ....
DD6 : And I love myself too
ME : It is a good thing you love yourself. It helps ...
DD6 : Yes, it helps figuring out who I am !
Silence ...
DD6 : Dad, do you love yourself ?
ME : Well, yes, a little ...
DD6 : My brother does not !

She didn't mean to be rude, I saw in her eyes that she is unhappy with that fact ... It was just her heart speaking.
I do not know why I want to share that ... May be just a psy-outlet ...

Oh Raoul... how heartbreaking. Your DS has many similar challenges to my DD and it is soooo very hard. We found a really good child psychologist (herself a 2E adult and parent to a 2E child) to work with DD and it has really helped. Also getting the supports in school is very important. I know you have posted about your difficulties having his needs met in French schools and your DW being overwhelmed by his challenges. I wish your whole family all the best. Please keep checking in here - it really does help to communicate with other parents who understand what you (and he) are going through.

Bonjour!

Your daughter sounds very wonderful, I think she will be a help to her brother as they grow up.

Do you have art therapists over there? I know two art therapists here. Typically they work with PTSD such as veterans or children that have been through trauma. However one of them said that more recently she has started working with children who she described as being "broken by the school system". Creative children or 2E children who don't fit in the box and aren't serviced or appreciated. They have emotional scars and/or poor self esteem that need to be addressed. Therapy through a creative outlet can be helpful to them.

Just a thought.

Thank you bzylzy and pemberley!

Art therapy is quite expensive and we already spend a lot of money in helping DS. The first time I posted on this forum was exactely on rising my DS self-esteem. I read this post several times. Tried a lot of things, but it is so hard when you and DW have a job, have to get everything in order (meal, house, washing,..). The time which remains is mainly dedicated to his school challenges ...Fortunately, it helps him keeping in touch with what happens at school. SO he is not trully broken ... But at home, he is still a kind of storm, very hard to contain.

Sorry for your troubles. Glad he is not truely broken. He'll be okay with home support, though it takes a toll on the family.

It's a hard time of year, being more cooped up and less daylight. We understand.

Sorry for my lack of French.

No problem with French Should I want to speak French I would not have been here .... Well, truely is not trully ... I apologize for my English !

I am not quite sure that home support will be sufficient. When I face him so strongly reluctant to many things, I often wonder if he will cope one day with anything. It is very hard to think this way about his own blood ... Every day, I have to tell myself, do not think about the future, just face the day (defenitely not in a "carpe diem" way ...unfortunately)

raoulpetite,

The early elementary years are really *really* tough for 2e kids - they are often feeling lost, different, and overwhelmed by their challenges, and yet they are bored with the things that aren't impacted by their challenges - the level of discussion in the classroom etc. It's a tough tough time and there's really not much to do other than slog through it. Please know that the support, help, accommodations, remediation, advocating - everything your are doing for your son, he is soaking in - he may not be consciously aware of it yet, but when he's older he's going to know inherently that you were always there for him and that you did the *everything* for him that he needed.

It's hard to see it at this point in the journey, but things really do get easier as our kids get older. They become more self-aware, and that helps. The accommodations and remediation and all the hard work start to kick in, and that helps. He'll get to a point where he's able to cope enough with the challenges that his bright intellect will start to give him opportunities for more advanced school work, and that will help.

We took our ds in for counseling a few different times when he was younger. Counseling *may* be helpful, but honestly, I think for our ds the most helpful thing was just continually working at supporting him as a parent, because he really got it over time, that the one place he could be understood was at home. We didn't realize we'd get there for a long time - he had a lot of frustration and anger over school when he was little that came out in huge temper tantrums etc at home - where he was able to let it out. The huge tantrums started disappearing eventually as we started being more successful at eliminating the stress at school.

Hang in there,

polarbear

I will just add that I was recently speaking with someone close to me I've known my entire life who is stationed in the Middle East (military) and think about this idea...just hope for the best, but all you can do is your best and at the end of the day get some rest and try again tomorrow. You can always have people here who will "listen" to you. Bonne chance...

Thank you Polar Bear and bzylzy ...

Just out from a meeting with DS's teacher today. She starts to speak about special school after grade 5 ... Got my head in my socks ... He is in 3rd grade almost doest not write, just read at a grade 1 level, but is able to answer wisc stuffs which I cannot answer (although I am a science lecturer in a university ..well I have to acknowledge that it is not a clear indication for intelligence) This is just like hell. What WISC means ? Just selling illusions ? Well yes, we do our best to help him but I cannot refrain from being afraid for his future ... Sorry it is not very optimistic ... That's just the way I feel right now.

If you are a science lecturer you are probably very logical by nature and the 2E profile seems to defy logic at every turn.

Not selling illusions, your son has a set of strengths you haven't encountered yet. It's undiscovered science.

You're being tested - sorry I'm probably being philosophical again but that's how I see things.

Have you been able to read "The Dyslexic Advantage"?