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    newmom21C #146708 01/21/13 08:21 AM
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    I am a bit of a hypocrit on this topic which I freely admit. I watch a lot of tv - because I read a lot, and read for work, I find tv relaxing and a change of pace. For DS it has been interesting how things change. We kept DS from tv until 2 maybe 2.5 and then introduced PBS and nick jr with no more than an hour, which is what i think Sesame Street is. I found it disturbing at that age to watch how little kids would be so intent it was like they were struck dumb. I used it as a babysitter with learning potential so I could get a break. However things changed as I noticed that kids who watched more than DS their imaginative play seemed governed by the shows. DS's wasn't. Between 3 and 4 he made those massive cognitive growth leaps that so many of our kids do and this is where it got tricky with tv - DS got desperate for it - raging if I turned it off and this was a kid who rarely tantrumed. I realized that he was desperate for input and tv was the only new he was getting at the speed he needed. Once I started bringing in books in massive volume the desperation for tv eased. Now at 7 I am the one asking him if he wants to watch. We tape two shows in the kid cartoon realm cyber chase and word girl. And then also a lot of science shows. However, DS can take it or leave it. He absolutely prefers reading and his own imagination and I attribute it to not doing too much tv at a young age. When we are on the plane and he can watch Cartoon Network for the whole flight (or until we freak out by what he is watching) he is hysterical with laughter but he never asks for it at home. From what I gather from friends and from this site we are pretty lucky in that he accepts limits on tv, iPad, computer or whatever. But not on reading or on new books. Taking away his horrible science books is like locking him in a closet from his perspective.

    So from my perspective DS has the right balance - tilted heavily toward books and imaginary play. He is already separated from his peers by his interests but he has enough due to the Star Wars adiction so he does have shared currency.

    DeHe

    Michaela #146713 01/21/13 09:55 AM
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    We don't have a TV. My husband and I watch some mental bubblegum occasionally (e.g. Top Chef, Breaking Bad) or MMA on download-- about an hour each week. I don't see us buying a TV anytime soon. Most programming is poor, and we prefer to read the news. We occasionally nip down to the gym to work out and watch a period of hockey or football while exercising.

    Our son is only 15 months old, so we still have yet to reach an age where pop culture is social currency. I can see us watching live sporting events as a family as he gets older, introducing a classic cartoon or two, and expanding into more educational programming as his maturity allows. I'd love for him to develop an early love of britcom like I enjoyed. I can't imagine keeping him away from the great satire of the early Simpsons, Monty Python, Yes Minister, and Fawlty Towers. Ditto for favourite movies. I think a well rounded person needs humour and light entertainment to balance more serious pursuits.

    In truth, we do have screen time now. Every day, we spend a few minutes (e.g. 5-10 mins) watching something like animals, machines, vehicles, or live musicians on youtube on an ipad. I sit with him to make it a shared activity in which we are fully engaged.

    If I can summarize my philosophy around screen time-- for adults and children-- it's deliberate consumption. If we watch something, I want it to be because we love the content. There are many shows and films with cultural, comedic, educational, and artistic value, and I plan to make these available to my son when age-appropriate.




    What is to give light must endure burning.
    aquinas #146714 01/21/13 10:10 AM
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    Originally Posted by aquinas
    If I can summarize my philosophy around screen time-- for adults and children-- it's deliberate consumption. If we watch something, I want it to be because we love the content. There are many shows and films with cultural, comedic, educational, and artistic value, and I plan to make these available to my son when age-appropriate.

    One of the reasons I LOVE watching Downton Abbey on the PBS iPad app - you cannot multitask and keep up. It requires full attention.

    Michaela #146716 01/21/13 10:19 AM
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    I admit, our tv is almost always on. Both boys have learned extensively from the tv shows (mainly PBS and some shows on Netflix and Amazon Prime). Neither my husband or I are native English speakers and DS4's English is PERFECT! I'm pretty sure his Aspergerish traits play a bit of a role in it. For us TV is our kids English class. And they are the kind of kids who don't just sit there and stare ... they really absorb the info. The older one likes the TV on while he's playing and the younger one likes it quiet when he's playing so it's always a little fight over TV in our house but overall, I watch it, they watch it ... and when for couple weeks we tried to minimize TV to about 60 minutes a day, I didn't see any difference in their behavior so we just go with whatever seems right that day.

    Michaela #146717 01/21/13 10:27 AM
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    We always ensured that our shy, introverted daughter had enough current culture to help her make friends. We watched Sesame Street, Drake and Josh, and iCarly with her. It helps her to have something to say to others. It has never cut in on her giftedness.

    Michaela #146718 01/21/13 10:29 AM
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    What I have noticed about my older son (5) is that he wants to watch shows to fit in at school. I compromise on allowing him to read books about these characters. During vacation, he doesn't care about tv shows per se. Yet, I have seen he wants to be an expert on what the other boys at school think as cool. In absence of school, nature/ animal shows are all that would be requested. As parents, we watch all shows with the boys and no commercials. Love dvr.

    aquinas #146720 01/21/13 10:39 AM
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    Originally Posted by aquinas
    We don't have a TV. [...]Our son is only 15 months old, so we still have yet to reach an age where pop culture is social currency. I can see us watching live sporting events as a family as he gets older, introducing a classic cartoon or two, and expanding into more educational programming as his maturity allows.
    I could have written this whole post when our son was that age, changing a few of the titles/genres (I'm British so we don't have britcom :-) We thought there might come a time when we needed to get a TV so that DS-now-9 wouldn't be left out, but it hasn't been an issue and he doesn't want one. There's always YouTube if he wants to have a quick look to see what someone's talking about. We have quite a DVD collection now and e.g. he and DH have started a habit of sitting down together to watch a Dastardly and Muttley episode at the weekend. ("You look after his maths, I'll look after his cultural education"!)

    When DS was younger he used to loooove certain children's DVDs and we used to limit by having certain times of day when watching was an option and others when it wasn't. These days, it's computer screen time that needs limiting, but it's never felt difficult to negotiate (yet, I should say...)


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    aquinas #146721 01/21/13 11:02 AM
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    Originally Posted by aquinas
    I can't imagine keeping him away from the great satire of the early Simpsons, Monty Python, Yes Minister, and Fawlty Towers. Ditto for favourite movies.

    Your children will want to decide for themselves what is worth watching and will resist too much parental interference. My kids think "Call Me Maybe" and "Gangnam Style" are great songs. In the car they listen to Crosby Stills, and Nash and like it.


    "To see what is in front of one's nose needs a constant struggle." - George Orwell
    Michaela #146724 01/21/13 12:00 PM
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    My daughter is 2 so she doesn't watch that much tv but she gets to watch a few songs on youtube a few times a day while I pick up, do dishes, use the restroom. If she doesn't nap or is for some reason driving me crazy I will let her watch a cartoon so that I can rest for up to 20 mins. If she is sick I let her watch tv as much as she wants. I'm pretty good about keeping the background tv off during the day but she gets too much background adult tv at night since my husband likes tv and DD and him often have the same bedtime so he can't just watch tv after she goes to sleep.

    Last edited by MotherofToddler; 01/21/13 02:03 PM.
    newmom21C #146725 01/21/13 12:30 PM
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    Michaela,

    Did these people justify why they only let their children watch television when they are playing with something else? I don�t see what the benefit would be, so I'd be interested in hearing their reasoning. I would think this pattern would encourage watching �mindless� television programs that don�t require much attention. We allow DS6 to have up to 2 hours of screen time a day (including computers, iPad, and television), and he learns a tremendous amount from the programs he watches (Bigger, Bigger, Biggest; Bill Nye; Modern Marvels; What the Ancients Knew). I would think his choice of programs to watch would be different if he could only have them on in the background! If a program is on that he isn�t interested in, he will ask to watch something else or turn the television off himself, so we generally don�t have to make him turn it off in that situation. If the television is left on, however, he will always stop what he�s doing to watch the commercials.

    We also allow him to watch his iPad when we are in the car, so his screen time does go over the 2 hour *limit* on many days, but we don�t mind given the programs he is watching. Perhaps we would be more stringent if he were primarily watching non-educational programs.

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