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Hi
So this is not exactly a terribly significant dilemma, but looking for thoughts.

DS almost 7, super sciency, not exactly sporty. Will always choose non-physical over physical. Last year we sent him to a wonderful camp, to get him outdoors all day, tons of physical activities, plus arts and crafts, legos etc. Its sorted by age - he had issues last year of leading with how smart he is only to learn that then people wanted him to perform like a trick pony. He LOVED the attention from the counselors, especially one very bright one who really talked to him where he is. And he even enjoyed the activities and he got so much stronger which is important. But I wouldnt say he wanted playdates with any of the kids when camp was over.

So options for the summer - send all summer to outdoor camp, send half to outdoor camp and half to robotics or gifted or sciency camp.

He's DYS and goes to a gifted accelerated school, but the science is nowhere near what he needs. He gets his science fix by what we do, his own reading, watching videos, going to talks. But not much with other kids.

The outdoor camp is best to undo his make like a rock tendancies but while he is surrounded everyday by bright kids, not on his level or focused on his area of interest.

Thoughts? WWYD?

DeHe

I'm not sure what you mean by "leading with how smart he is"? It might help me understand his experience at the outdoor camp a bit better if you could explain it - and please excuse me if I'm a little dense this morning!

Our EG science whiz ds always enjoyed outdoors camp in the summers. We didn't worry (there) re whether or not he was in with other EG kiddos, and it didn't seem to be an issue. He enjoyed the games etc and I think being outside gave him opportunities for his brain to think deeply in its own way. The camp he was at gave kids lots of opportunities to explore whatever they were learning about but there wasn't much guided learning - which was good, guided probably would have been boring at his level. For the more science-oriented camps, I'll be honest, we fudged his age to be older than he was to bump him up into higher-level camps a few times. Other times we just asked if he could attend with older kids and that usually worked out well... except ds had more fun with the same-age kids at his outdoors camps, gifted or not.

polarbear

Can you identify his unmet needs for yourself in list form (it sounds like you already have a mental list in progress)?

Then prioritize them by how well you're able to meet them using another method, or 'rate' how well you're meeting them.

I have found that the 'ratings' system will frequently be able to capture more information there since it can include ideas about what your family's values are, what your child's values/strengths/weaknesses are, and how important it is in that framework to work on "weaknesses" versus "exercising strengths."

Then it becomes easier to identify the most bang for the buck, so to speak.

If, for example,
"physical, age-appropriate activities" gets a "2/10" in the "how well met" column, and a "8/10" in the "relative importance" column, then that becomes a pretty high overall priority.

If both things are 2/10, though, something else may jump ahead of it.

If you can think of OTHER ways of meeting those high priority needs, then more unique opportunities may jump ahead, too. I might be tempted to add a third column in my decision grid to reflect "DIFFICULTY--parental ABILITY to meet this need."

Does this help?

Polarbear

I'm so excited - I actually found my old thread - this is what came up last summer. Short version - as a means of introduction - I'm smart and I know stuff. He definitely doesn't do that anymore (as much) but he is still a bit awkward - and it's more noticeable with ND kids.

He likes his classmates but he likes older kids sooo much better. I wonder if the science camps around here would be flexible about age

DeHe

Previous discussion

HK
I like this idea - and I am a big one for lists. My problem seems to be that DS is not expressing that he needs something - but he tends not to - and while I do rate being outdoors as very important. I'm struggling with whether his intellectual needs aren't being met as he isn't getting to discuss or do science with anyone but us.

! But he is only 7 - does he need it now? Part of the no is that they do a lot of work on school and I want him to be more unschooled in summer. What concerns me is putting him in something that is the same level as what he is getting which would drive him insane.

DeHe

My ds20 also didn't complain about school being boring, but after about a year in college, he finally opened up and shared how bored he had been during his school years, even when he was placed in an accelerated program because it just wasn't accelerated enough.

My point is that some kids don't talk about their problems, but a parent can spot the signs, which is probably why you took the time to post on this forum, right? If he doesn't have any friends to do science stuff with, which is his #1 interest, I would take that as a sign that he needs your help. Summer camps are only one of the ways to meet friends. (My ds20 also hated it when summer camps turned out to be below his level, so I suggest you find out exactly what they are going to teach.)

I think Mensa is available for kids starting at age 7, for example.

How I found a "science stuff" buddy for my dd11: When my dd11 was 8 yo, I was teaching in a school where a kid showed up mid-year. The homeroom teacher said this student had serious writing problems, but she seemed so intelligent when she talked to me, so I became intrigued. I got permission to give her a reading test and she was able to answer reading comprehension questions at least 3 years beyond her grade level! (Found out from the head teacher later that he was judging her by her spelling and handwriting!!) I brought her to the next highest grade math class and she understood everything and could work out the problems that the teacher gave in class. I quickly made friends with her parents, who are also very bright and a lot of fun, and we started visiting each others' homes. To our delight, the kids hit it off and on their first playdate, they told us they would go out of the room and wanted one of us to touch an item. They would then fingerprint us and figure out who "committed the crime." Now they do all kinds of things together, including tennis and violin.

Another option is to find a mentor. I think there is a website to match up mentors with children. But probably it's just as effective to start letting everyone you know in on that you are looking for someone who wants to guide your son in science activities.

I just found a mentor for my dd11 when I visited my former math professor from college, with her in tow. Instead of chatting with me, he started giving her math problems to solve. 3 hours later, we had a list of math problems and his offer to continue to send her problems as she solved those!

I don't mean to make it sound like I'm so lucky. We still have tons of challenges with our dd11 being bored in school and being barraged with homework. But at least she has a respite from it all with her science buddy and math mentor.

Best wishes to you and keep trying until you help your little guy find some good friends!

This has worked well for us. I wouldn't use the web, though; for a kid that young a personal reference seems more trustworthy to me. We got the gifted teacher at the elementary school to contact a teacher at the high school and find us an advanced science student she could recommend wholeheartedly.

It's perfect: the student is doing this to get his service hours in (so we don't even have to pay him), he's amused as heck by my kid, and my kid is delighted to know a cool older guy who knows more than he does about science. They do lab time at hours when the science teacher is in the room doing planning, so it's supervised; but they're free to do what inspires them.

DeeDee

Thanks tazi and DeeDee, we have been thinking about some sort of mentor - but actually as a babysitter. The camp counselor he loved from last year was sort of like one and we tried to do that but couldn't work it out. Really interesting idea about contacting a high school and their science teacher to actually work with. Good food for thought.

We did end up going with the fun outdoorsy, camp but are breaking it up with some travel. We think its a good solution for this year anyway!!

DeHe

DeHe, that sounds good. It is so important to have playtime!

DeeDee