Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy When most other kids (she got in!)

to school, my dd is crying and in hysterics. She still says it's boring and she knows everything and hates going. We will hopefully find out this month if she makes it into the G&T program. I keep telling her next year should be better, if I'm wrong I will be in trouble.

In the meantime this situation is creating lots of problems. I now realize her 'laziness' is a result of her never having to work or try at anything. She doesn't like to push herself for fear of failure and possibly b/c she has never had to push herself. She is only 7 and if this continues it won't be good.

Wait... who are these mythical kids that are happy to go back to school?

We are starting to get the late night mention from DS7 of how boring it is, and that there is no learning. Oddly vacation amped it up, because he got books and such at higher levels. He's been hooked on some math podcasts this week, and it all reminds him how much he loves learning.

And we are in the process of placing into an HG program. Between that and an IEP availabe, we let him know that things will improve. Because if none of those work, we'll homeschool.

Seconding MON's recommendation that you not tell her it'll be better next year, because if it's still not good enough, your DD is going to blame you, and things will be even worse at home than before.

Also, it's only January, and next year is a lifetime for a 7yo. If there's anything at all you could be doing now to advocate for your DD, I'd start doing it... and make sure she knows you're doing it. Just knowing that her mom is getting involved and taking her concerns seriously can be a big comfort to her.

I keep telling her next year should be better, if I'm wrong I will be in trouble.


Yes, yes you will.

I don't just THINK that, I know it. We kept telling DD that 8th grade (when she finally started high school) would be better-- EVERYONE told her this, including counselors, teachers, etc.

She banked on this for years. This is probably what initiated her full meltdown at 11yo, in fact, and that all began right about this time of year. Why? Well, it was partially a seasonal affective perfect storm, partly that it was long enough into the year that she was VERY certain of her conclusion that she'd been lied to; there was no pony in that room she was tired of shoveling, and REALLY convinced that the reason was somehow her fault or ours.

Let me add to the chorus. Do NOT predict like this. We've become wary of even doing it w/r/t collegiate experiences now after being so badly burned. We let good experiences be pleasant surprises. Keep expectations reasonably low. That's my advice.

My ds5 was psyched to go back to school... The first day (because he wanted to show the other kids his new watch and new books.) by the third day, he was playing sick to stay home with me.

[quote=Zen Scanner]Wait... who are these mythical kids that are happy to go back to school?

This. Most kids I knew dreaded going back. Although we did live in a freer environment than most kids now so holiday boredom didn't come in to play.

Also I'll add to the strong suggestions not to say that it will get better. It is a big disapointment when you get to high school and find out it is more of the same. Depression and/or complete disengagement are likely outcomes.

Try, I am on your side and will do everything in my power to make it as good as I can.

Well dd7 got into the G&T program for next year. Part of me thinks it will help her to be more with children similar to her, but on the other hand I realize quite a few kids from her class will probably get in too and they are nothing like her. So that may not change her 'trying to fit in' approach to school. The good news is the teacher she will have has been a G&T teacher for many years and I'm hoping she will have some tricks up her sleeve to engage dd and teach her to challenge herself.

Thank you for the advice guys, I guess I kinda stuck my foot in my mouth on that one. At least I didn't tell her to just 'deal with it' like the husband did.

I was just going by what a friend and her dd, and how her dd is happier now in the G&T program this year. But I now realize what works for some may not work for all.

Great. It may be wonderful and even if it isn't long term in the short term it will add some challenge. And there maybe someone she really bonds with you never know.

She may find she makes some nice friends in the G/T program who have similar interests. My son in his G/T program for 4th grade has made some very good friends. He put together a team for 4 boys (including him) for a quiz bowl kind of contest they have on 8 books everyone reads. One boy is as bright as him (HG/PG); the other 2 are bright but probably not quite as bright, but they have enough in common to make their friendships strong. It's been the best year he's had in his 5 years of schooling!

Battle of the Books. My son did that for 2 years and really enjoyed it then decided that he didn't like the contest when he went to middle school (and his school took first place).

I think he decided that he liked reading the books and discussing the books with people (book club type discussions) but he didn't like memorizing stupid trivia from the books. The questions at battle of the books are so insanely trivial that he just didn't like it anymore.

But I think my younger son will try it next year.