Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion New and full of questions.

Hello all. I have a just turned five years old son who is very gifted by my own reckoning. He taught himself to read at two, memorized prodigiously- maps, presidents, dinosaurs, periodic table, etc. etc.. I thought math was not his thing, though he counted very early, up to 100 before two. I thought that was normal as he is only child and I'd never been around other kids much. But at four he developed a obsession with math too, mentally adding double and triple digits, doing times tables and not just memorizing but using math. On drive home for Xmas, he says,"what's 327-280,because that's how far we have gone since the last sign!" He uses multiplication to figure out how many Lego knobs there are on big Lego grids. I don't know what grade level he reads at or what math level he is, but I suppose high. Most of his favorite books (always nonfiction) are age appropriate for me! So there is where he is. I've known for awhile that I am going to have to home school. He learns too fast to fit in.

My first question though is about his asynchronous development. He hates writing-- due I think to his perfectionism and most things coming so easy to him. He probably writes okay for pre-k. Can do cap letters, hates lower case. He is one of few kids that hates coloring. In fact I think he has only ever colored once. He will draw, but none of that fill in the picture with color for him. So my struggle is that he is ready for so many things that involve writing, but is behind for his skill level on it. I'm not asking that he have great penmenship, but just that he try. So how do I proceed with home school when he hates writing. Do I force it, wait for it to come and just do things verbally or with me writing for him? I want him to be challenged but not pushed into hating the struggle of learning. And I don't want him to be too dependent on computers...I'd rather he learn to write well then type well at this stage. Too much computer work at this stage worries me. Thoughts?

Question two: We just moved to a very rural area with only one school. Since we will home school, that of itself is not a problem. But how do other rural parents deal with lack of local resources, peers, opportunity for your children. We were used to a city with tons of museums, play groups, kids outside... Now we just have sagebrush and no one around.

Thanks so much. E

I'm responding to provide a couple of ideas but also to bump your post back up.

There is something called Handwriting Without Tears that you could google and read about. (I havent' used them personally and don't work for them : 0 but it might be worth looking into) and any homeschooling sites that suggest handwriting programs.

My DD9 was similar in the advanced development but strong resistance to handwriting. She is still behind her peers (she's had some vision and fine motor issues for years) but at that age I wasnt' too concerned because in the past kids started this sort of thing much later so I thought developmentally she wasn't ready.

There are things you could do like having him write with finger paints, write in sand, my DD used to like to dip a stick in water and write letters and words on the driveway. She did letters and words backwards (including letters/words from her wooden blocks were "mirror images") but again at that age this still could be "normal" that's what people would tell me.

You could try those ideas and also make sure he plays with clay and play-dough and beads and things to work on his fine motor skills. Maybe an Etch-a-Sketch?

Is there anyone he could Skype with - friends from your previous place, grandparents or cousins? For the give-and-take of conversation, a little "show and tell" for him to do?

Hello. I have a five year old. I taught him handwriting quickly and efficiently because I think it's important. After tracing letters I bought Handwriting Without Tears second grade manuscript workbook. It gave him a small page to copy each day (look. there's samples). I liked it because it gave exact instructions on how to draw each letter so when he forgets I can tell him. It also demonstrated capitalization and pubctuation. It's not difficult to say, "do your writing" because the pages are really very little work to do to get it done and get good results. After doing most of the book my kid writes pretty effortlessly. It was worth it.

Rural too. My kid joined the soccer team twice and the t-ball team once because it's what there is to do. I also send him to school for something to do.

Is there a branch library?

My kids really use all the resources of the library- storytime, etc. And the library allows citizens to use the meeting rooms for meetings as long as you don't charge a fee and make it open to the public (like if you say Board games hour open to all 7 years old to teen and you supply some but allow the participants to bring their favorite too...the do allow you to enforce minimum behavior). Sometimes it takes a bit of marketing to get something like that going.

Also, try networking online (yahoo groops, googling) to find homeschool support groups in your area.

When my 14-year-old son who taught himself to read at two was five he also read a lot of nonfiction, memorized easily, did mental math and he hated coloring. I had him practice handwriting every day but only a little because his hands tired easily. I didn't want handwriting issues to hold him back so I acted as his scribe. We used Handwriting without Tears when he was seven but it didn't solve the problem of his hands getting tired and after he finished the books he went back to writing letters the way he learned the first time so I'm not sure that it really helped him.

It was just so easy to let him play math games and other learning games on the computer especially when there are no other kids to play with. He really enjoyed online learning so much while I was busy online trying to find answers for why my child was so asynchronous. He taught himself to type because he used the computer so much but I don't remember exactly when and when he was older he taught himself to use the DVORAK keyboard layout because it was easier on his hands. It was only through typing that he could write well. He never got to a point where his handwriting was fast enough to get his thought on paper in the first place and even if he did then his hands hurt after five minutes of writing. Even though he had once been grade levels ahead in math, he learned to hate it when I tried to make him write out more of his math problems. I gave up and let him use mental math where he could and write only what he had to in order to get the correct answer on a mark & wipe board where he could write and erase more easily.

My son used to do musical theater where his ability to memorize quickly was an asset. When he was four or five a teenager in his acting class told me that he thought my son must be "autistic or something" to be able to memorize that fast.

I don't deal well with the lack of local resources, peers, and opportunity for my child. I feel extremely isolated.

I also had my then 6 year old do a page a day of Handwriting Without Tears for a year. He had horrible handwriting in first grade, thanks to being in a Montessori kindergarten where they didn't do any penmanship at all.
In second grade now, his handwriting is pretty good. It isn't the best in the class, but it's probably average. I did not want his handwriting to hold him back in the future. I think it's very important to be able to take notes or write essays quickly without your hand getting too tired, so being able to write the words correctly is vital.

My ds5 had awful handwriting last year. Every parent/ teacher conference, the teacher talked about his handwriting and ways to strengthen his hand (cutting, play dough). I worried and tried the things they told me to do. Well, this year, he has gotten much better. He is not the best in his class, but probably mid- range. I'm not saying don't worry, but he might need more time. I was told its very common for boys at that age, and he is left- handed. I did find stuff that had some handwriting, but not tons; but he had fun doing like word problems.
Hang in there and welcome! There's lots of good advice and support here.

We do Handwriting without Tears with my five year old and it is pretty easy use. They have a $5.00 app now if you want a preview.

You might check out 4H in your area for stuff to do that isn't sports.

Thank you all for your replies. I had already been thinking about trying the handwriting without tears, so now with your good recommendations, I will.

But my real issue is not handwriting as much (as I figure it will come in good time), but how to get around written work in the meantime but still have advanced content all without relying to heavily on the computer. Since most advanced learning relies heavily on writing, what's the best way around this?

As for the rural issue, thanks for those ideas. Its lonely out here, but we love it!

Curious, what advanced topics would rely on writing? I can see where writing is good for testing some areas, but I don't see it tied to the core subject learning.

Some come to writing control late due to vision issues (as my son) or pure asynchrony and some never cross the line to mastery (such as myself, though I've always drawn very well.) People/kids tending towards dysgraphia have an additional issue of cognitive load, where it takes a lot of thought to write somewhat neatly and that can undercut some complex processing.

Without a computer, then verbal testing or scribing might be options. Can't imagine how much more attention my DS7 would take without the computer.