Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Math makes me sad

My 14-year-old son and I homeschool and we both feel this way about math. My son didn't go into detail about why math makes him sad when his math loving geology professor aunt asked him why he didn't like math. He told her it wasn't that he couldn't do math. He never had a problem doing math (except for the problems dysgraphia causes) but we worked around those problems at home. He hopes to eventually take a CLEP test and be done with it. She told him that he would be limiting himself if he didn't go beyond algebra. I get the feeling that she thinks I should push him to do more. She made me feel like we were behind in math because he is only working at grade level.

She, like probably a lot of other people on this board, thinks math is beautiful. Because of things that have happened recently I associate it with ugliness and sadness and anxiety and I think my son is feeling something similar. Probability, angles, degrees, and curves are words we associate with sadness and anxiety because of his scoliosis issues. For three years we lived our lives watching the numbers on the clock making sure he got the required number of painful hours in the brace. Getting enough hours in the brace meant he did not get enough hours of sleep because he could not sleep in it. At each appointment there was a number that we had to avoid. The numbers kept creeping closer to that awful number each time he went to the doctor no matter how much pain he went through in the brace. Then there are blood pressure numbers that go up because of anxiety and the doctor tells me my risk of having a stroke or heart attack in the next 10 years--so there are those awful probabilities again. I check the nutrition information on everything I eat for cholesterol (more numbers) and count calories and exercise for the recommended number of minutes every day trying to get as healthy as I can so I can help my son when he goes through a six-hour surgery and five days in the hospital. Ugly, depressing numbers everywhere I look--and then there are the numbers on the scale. There are no euphemisms for the "bad" numbers, a number is what it is.

We are just having a lot of trouble seeing the beauty in numbers right now and I am not going to push him. I think we both need a break, but then I start thinking about what my sister-in-law said. Is my son limiting himself if he doesn't go beyond algebra?

I wouldn't worry about it right now while you have so much else going on in your lives. It might be important in a year to re-examine it and see if he wants/needs more math. I don't know how much math colleges expect so you might need to check into that if he is college bound.

Hope things improve for you.

I don't think anyone ever died as a result of taking a year (or more) off maths. If he is strong in the basics he will be able to make up the missed time if or when he decides he needs to.

Yup. He's only in his teens. My sister (in her 30s with two law degrees) is looking at a career change and is having her math level assessed so that she can jump into whatever refresher she needs to continue on a new path. It's never too late.

Thanks everyone. I think our biggest problem with math right now is with probability. My son enjoyed that part of math until we were faced with medical decisions that we have to base on probability. On paper, a less than 1% chance of something seems insignificant, but if it is your chance of death from surgery and you have to have that surgery, it seems like a lot. Knowing that there is any chance at all is a lot to deal with. Add to that the risk of paralysis and other complications, and it is very difficult to think about. Any time we try to do math we think of this. There was an extremely low probability that he would be born with something that nobody else in our family had and yet it happened to him and he wants to know why. I wonder if the probability was actually higher because of my husband's exposure to herbicides (Agent Orange) in Vietnam or the fact that I was an older mom, but we will never know. I feel like my brain has been hijacked. It is hard to focus on anything other than the medical issues. Things related to the medical issues keep popping into my head.

For now, we are limiting our homeschooling to history, psychology, politics, current events, and tvtropes. I am sure my college professor sister-in-law would not approve, especially the fact that I am letting my son read tvtropes for hours instead of making him do math, but we are in survival mode here and laughter really is the best medicine when you have anxiety and medical issues. My son always made up really good jokes and improv scenarios to go along with what was happening around him. His friends in musical theater always told me they liked that about him. It makes sense to me that we should be studying comedy instead of math for now.

Sometimes people just need a little break from a subject. When he is ready, you can always ease in with something like biographies of mathmaticians, Euclid's great treatise, math teaser games, or something a bit lighter than probability. If it is too emotional for you to pick up again, realize that it will rub off on him and consider getting him a fun tutor to cover it, like a college student or recent graduate.

Love the idea of studying comedy! Do allow yourselves to have fun

Lori, I'm sorry you son is going through such a difficult time. I can sense your pain through your writing and my heart goes out to you.

If you're conflicted about not doing math-- and it sounds like you aren't, so in that case disregard-- may I suggest you take a look at the Life of Fred books?

They're hard to describe, but they're a funny, weird, story about a math genius named Fred, and daily his life. Through each chapter a math concept is explained by way of something that happens to Fred. But readers get other information as well. The books are supposed to be stand alone and you won't miss the story if you don't start at the very beginning, so you'd want to figure out where your son's current math level is and start around there. I get our books from a place called "horrible books.com"

I found out about the series on this site. They're not a curriculum, so maybe that would be appealing in your situation; they're more just a way to keep math in your life in an easy way in case your son wants to come back to it.

Wishing you the best.