Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school Preschool options?

We have a 3 year 3 months old, who I think is gifted/advanced in some way (though not to the extent that we'd have to worry about college at 13, like many here). We started visiting preschools/kindergarten options, hence my post. He is working on writing skills (sight reads and writes quite a few words, very elementary skills at putting sounds together - he still struggles with that); he works on 60-100 piece puzzles, he reads time to the hour very easily, his drawing appears to be 2 years ahead - indeed, his writing and drawing skills seem to fit right into kindergarten, at least from visiting kindergarten classrooms this week; they are miles and miles ahead of nursery kids'. He easily counts items to 20 and beyond, he is starting to understand the concept of addition (well, with crackers at least). BUT he is also growing up trilingually, with English being by far his weakest language (we speak to him in our own native languages). His speaking ability in his 2 main mother languages is behind relative to monolingual kids his age, but he can communicate; his English ability his very limited. We have 3 possibilities to consider. i) By far the cheapest option (15k), a school in his native language up to 8th grade; he would be one of the few native speakers. They might be willing to consider him for kindergarten next year (strictly speaking, due to the age cutoff, he'd have to attend nursery, not even pre-kindergarten, next year) - and even that might be too easy by then (his work right now seemed to fit right into kindergarten there). ii) the most expensive option (almost 30k a year once kindergarten starts), an English speaking pre-k (they might be willing to overlook the age-cutoff, which he misses by a week). Same problem with his academic skills - we saw the kindergarten portfolios there that looked like his work (and the teacher agreed with that when she saw his work). But at least he'd learn English in pre-k, and they do pull students out in smaller groups to do work, especially for reading. This school has lots of resources, some of which he'd really enjoy (lots of blocks, lego/duplo, 2 libraries...). We'd challenge him outside of school by teaching him reading and writing in his native languages. iii) a 25k per year school for the gifted (but from what we've heard, not for the truly genius kids - which he is clearly not). This is the only school where we thought that he was NOT currently (!) ready for kindergarten, and we would be very comfortable putting him into pre-k next year (they don't have an age-cutoff issue). They would teach the alphabet there in the first few months, but he'd be learning English. They work in small groups by ability throughout. He'd have to pass an IQ test before proceeding to kindergarten (which might be a challenge due to his English skills, and though they'd likely have improved a lot by this time next year, if he were to start school in Sept, it's a risk). Loved the school, great teachers, might be awfully challenging to teach reading and writing in his native languages in addition. Also, and perhaps most importantly, it would mean a 45 minute commute for us as we'd have to relocate there eventually, the other 2 schools are within walking distance. The native lang. and gifted schools go through 8th grade, the other through 12th. We could also keep him home for another year, sharing a nanny with his younger brother. Cheaper, more flexibility for us in terms of daytrips (our working hours are a bit flexible), no early mornings, fewer illnesses for another year...I would love to hear your thoughts what we should do if he were accepted at all three schools (we'd have very little time to think before having to make a decision once accepted).

Sorry - I didn't realize this was such a long post...

Hi and welcome!

IMO, I would go with option one or two. The gifted school, besides being a much longer commute (which would therefore impact your daily lifestyle), sounds like they aren't looking at your son individually, but are instead saying that they are used to working with gifted kids and know what's best, which may or may not be what's best for your son.

A lot of people here have said good things about language-immersion schools, which option 2 seems to be for your DS since it's in English and not his native language. It's a way to challenge him without moving him too far ahead academically, which can be appealing.

I like that option 1 is the least expensive and that they, like option 2, seem to be open-minded about his placement. You hate to shell out too much money for early education if you don't have to.

Finally, there is something to be said about keeping him home another year. It doesn't fix the mismatch between your son and the schools, but it does delay the mismatch and saves you money. How good is the current situation with the nanny? Does your son get other opportunities to interact in a group setting with other children (of his age or of his intellectual peers)?

Thanks so much for the thoughts! The native lang. school is what we had always envisioned before we realized that he is ahead of other kids his age...Some risks are that they might have him repeat a year sooner or later for behavioral issues if they let him into K early next year (on average, he'd be 1.5 years younger than his classmates). They did mention a case like that. We'd be a bit stuck in that case: Any transition to other private schools would be awfully complicated due to the language barrier (they don't introduce English until a bit later), if this school were to turn out to be a bad fit. I did like the expensive English private - but he'd be in a class with kids that right now are basically scribbling more like his 1 year old brother than himself. Do we risk him regressing?
As for the stay at home option - we'd have to hire a nanny. So far we've been juggling the two on our own, thanks to our flexible schedules. But it will be too much for us soon - it's exhausting especially now that the 15 months old wants tons of stimulation too (he spends hours a day looking at books; both by himself and WITH one of us...). We could enroll him in some afternoon classes etc. to get him used to a more school like atmosphere with other kids.

Any other opinions on this?

Rac, if your son goes to the school in his native language, when and how will he learn English? Is English not important in his situation? (for high school, college, a career?) Being advanced and going to a school where most of the kids are learning everything in a language that isn't native for them sounds frustrating.

Thanks dad. We were thinking of paying for an English tutor starting immediately. Of course, that would mean more boredom in later years, as the school eventually moves to a 50/50 program.
The school stops admitting nonnative speakers after K, so I was hoping the non-native speakers would be fluent soon enough - but maybe that's not the case...
But yeah, we are getting increasingly frustrated with the lack of great options here, especially given the costs.

My son is growing up bilingual, but his English is currently stronger than his 2nd language. We're looking at some similar schooling options and issues with distances, barely missing the cutoff, and tuition costs, although we only have options like your 1 and 2, no gifted schools here.

I am leaning towards an education in English for DS3 (either an expensive private w/commute or homeschool) simply because in our situation it provides more access to materials and other opportunities in the long run. Because I don't think school in general is going to be a good fit for my son in terms of personality (non-compliant, anxious, perfectionism, shuts down in public), learning style (very active/imaginative), and limited self-control, I am avoiding sit-down school for a while instead of pursuing early options. Our tentative plan is to homeschool K-2 or so, until hopefully some of those things improve with maturity, then for him to test into the grade at the English school that will be the best balance for him socially and academically.

I share this to explain why personally, if you could find the right type of nanny, I'd vote for that option and let him pursue his interests at home. If you're going to be somewhat locked into your school choice, then another year will give you a clearer picture of what kind of environment will have the most benefits for your son. But I know that every child is different and your son might be ready for more structure. I wouldn't not challenge him now for fear of future boredom because it's so hard to know where your DS will be at that point; better to find what works for him and keeps him happy now I think. Good luck and I hope you let us know what you decide.

Personally I would not even consider the native language school. Partly because it won't offer challenge, but you have the added handicap of the English speaking kids holding the level of the class back, and the opportunity to learn English (or any language) as a native speaker is invaluable. That leaves the expensive English school or the gifted English school.

Assuming you can pay the expensive fees, how about gong there next year and the gifted school the next year or later on? He'll have the challenge of learning English next year, but once he's fluent you could move him.

Instead of a tutor, are there weekend or afterschool schools in the other languages he could attend? I don't know where you live, but they exist in lots of places, expressly for kids like yours - children if immigrants who want to make sure their child learns good grammar, penmanship, culture in their native language.

Thanks so much for all the thoughts! It looks like the native language school (the cheapest option) may not be a good idea. Oh, how I hate the thought of spending so much money for elementary school, it seems nuts...And then the commute if we chose the gifted school!
And yes, there are options for evening/weekend classes in the native languages (for one of the languages only quite a commute away). We will have the opportunity to spend school vacations abroad, so that will also help.