Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Does anyone regret grade skipping?

My dd skipped 6th and is in 7th now--so far it has been a great decision. Socially no issues, she still has all As in the advanced content classes. She was in a Montessori from pre-k until 5th--if she had been in a traditional ps she would for sure have needed a skip sooner. Her friend who was already very young for grade also skipped 6th and it has been wonderful for her as well.

My DS9 is one year grade skipped and in 5th grade now. He skipped 1st grade. Socially it was a great move for him. Academically it was not enough.We have no regrets about the grade skip.

Currently he attends a multi-age classroom charter school where he is actually working at a 7-8th grade level in all subjects while still with more age-appropriate social peers (who are also working ahead). I am not sure what the future holds but at this point we are going to try to keep a social/academic balance but we are open to more skips if needed.

Yes and no! I don't regret it academically or even socially. My son (11) skipped 2nd and could probably have skipped 3rd. My regret is that now he is in middle school and while his age mates (neighbors, baseball team, etc.) are out playing, he has more homework. I think we've made him grow up awfully fast. He is a late July birthday so would have been one of the youngest if we hadn't skipped him. When he was in 4th grade, one of his teachers commented "We're asking him to do advanced fourth grade work in essentially a second grade body". So, sometimes, I regret that he doesn't have more opportunity to "be a kid". HE doesn't seem bothered by it, though, so maybe he is "being a kid" in his own way. Hope that makes sense.

Due to the amount of redshirting we have here, there are kids in his 7th grade class who are more than two years older than he is. Sometimes that is hard.

Given the same situation, I would do the skip again. However, we moved to a different school district before 4th grade (he was in a private school for 3rd) and sometimes I think it would have been a good idea for him to have repeated 3rd grade in the new district. The private school turned out to be lousy and he could have used the quality instruction the new district provided, especially in writing.

It is a hard decision and I, too, recommend using the IAS as a tool to help quantify the decision and take some of the emotion out of it.

For what it's worth, I started kindergarten early (at 4 1/2) and wish my parents had skipped me a grade. They didn't because my older sister was held back a grade and it would have put me in a grade above her. My mom says she now regrets that she put my sister's needs over mine.

hi all,

i think this is a very individualized decision, based on parents views etc but also on the individual child...

i personally believe to be successful- a kid doesn't need just academics but must be happy, a child needs to be able to make/keep friends etc, and they need to be able to navigate the social arena that is life, and if my kid can do that, the added bonus of being "smart" is just an added plus... *i know it isn't quite that simplified.

for those reasons i placed my DS5 who was age eligible to enter 1st but hadn't yet been to kinder, in kindergarten.
unfortunately DS while being same age as others in class, & at right social maturity for kinder, was far too advanced academically, and complained of boredom etc. from the beginning.

i realize too late, i should have put him into 1st which would have been more academically appropriate...
b/c ultimately due to being underchallenged, and therefore unmotivated, he began to just go thru the day on auto pilot and he wasn't happy. he didn't even want to be there for social reasons...

i have rectified the situation for now, but if only i had skipped kinder and went right into 1st... that said, i know that we tried...

anyways, good luck with your decision...

Thank you all so much for your replies! It gives me so much to think about, most of which I already was, with real examples. I just want him to be happy and he is happy learning! I have a PT conference next Monday so hopefully I'll get a little insight. I've decided that I think I might at least mention a grade skip and see what the response is.

I know that I would have been fine being skipped and my mother regrets not having done it. Unfortunately DS5 is not me. I wish I had a crystal ball right now! lol

When my DS7 was in pre-K, he whizzed through the pre-k, k, 1st grade curriculum within 2 1/2 months. Then the headmaster refused to advance him into the 2nd/3rd grade class or accommodate him. He said that socially/emotionally DS wouldn't fit in since he has a late birthday and had just turned 5. I understood, but was frustrated at the same time.

Since it was a private school, we didn't have much to fall back on so we enrolled him at another school for the remainder of pre-k and for kindergarten last year. I'm now homeschooling him and can work at his pace/level.

If the school or district is willing to work with you, then perhaps you can get somewhere. However, I'd say that there are so many variables at play with these kids that it can be difficult with school, depending on the child, teacher, school, other kids, curriculum, etc. Try to work with the school/teacher and see what happens.

Oh, wanted to add:

My son really likes the social type things at school that it would be harder to get him involved in at home - band, PE, theater. He likes being around the other kids, even if he is in his own world most of the time. If our state allowed partial homeschooling, we would proabably do that for math, at least, and maybe science so that we could do it broader, deeper and at his own pace.

Partial homeschooling is something the OP might look at, as well.